Got a text from him...when does this end??

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#1 May 14 - 6PM

Deidre40

Got a text from him...when does this end??

I'm heading out on a date...and I'm so...not sad. Just confused. At a loss.

I was getting ready to head out...and got a text from my ex. Ugh. When does this end. :=(

He said...''To let you know...I replaced you before we broke up. Why do you think I didn't want to talk to you much?''

Part of me doesn't care. Part of me feels elated that I ended things. Part of me doesn't believe him. He knows I'm seeing someone. If he was seeing someone else...why was he fretting frantically when I broke up with him? Hmmm. Will they ever stop stooping?

I don't understand what I did to deserve this treatment.
:=(

Anyways...I am heading out soon. I'm running late for this date, should have been gone already. Ugh!

Have a good night, all.

#2 May 15 - 1PM

Deidre40

UPDATE...

This is stranger than fiction. I've ignored him. Deleted the texts. He wrote today...that he was mad when he sent that text yesterday. That's all it said...lol Not replying. I don't quite know what this is about, anymore. Mean and nasty. Then, this text today. I just need to stay NC. And change my number. Once my number is changed, MUCH of this nonsense will resolve itself. I don't understand...I know, we can't understand them. But, I'm starting to think he is crazy. Seriously. Like really...crazy. More than just a narcissist. This behavior is very strange, to me.

#3 May 15 - 2PM (Reply to #23)

Steph

Yes! Change your number,

Yes! Change your number, D. This guy is one of the most IMMATURE narcs!.....not that any of them are mature....but some seem to be more childish than others and yours is right up there! He is making a complete ass of himself. I hope everytime you ignore him....you get a BIG smile on your face. He is a freak. xoxo

#4 May 15 - 5PM (Reply to #24)

Deidre40

stayingstrong

lol yes...you know last night, I allowed this nonsense to disrupt a perfectly great date ...but today? I'm over it. No more texts since that last one. I lurked momentarily on that site earlier...and noticed he posted a nice comment about me out in the open...AFTER A SERIES OF DERAGOATORY POT SHOTS that he did yesterday. I mean...really? Does he think I can't read? lol He's VERY immature. It's almost scary, to me...to be honest. I honestly dodged a bullet by ending that farce of a relationship. I don't wish him any harm. I just don't want him to cause problems for me...or hurt me anymore. But, he's a bona fide psychopath...and I shudder to think what life would be like, if he lived say 30 minutes away...or closer. OMG. It's frightening to think of that.

#5 May 15 - 2PM (Reply to #21)

ally2375

Good for you!!!

Well done! I'm sorry to hear this shook you up so much - I completely understand. Yours is a total wingnut! I hope you do change your number and just eliminate this abuse from your life. Since yours seems to be the angry, vindictive type that REFUSES TO BE IGNORED, you may want to think about other avenues he could use to reach you. Snail mail? Email? When you're feeling up to it, I'd block him from everything you can think of because he sounds like to type to rachet up the attention-seeking behavior... One other thing: you may consider getting a transcript of those text messages before you delete them or change your number. Didn't you say a couple of his exes have ROs out on him? If he keeps up with the abusive outreach, it may be good to have a record of this. Just a thought. Hope you're feeling better today.

#6 May 15 - 5PM (Reply to #22)

Deidre40

ally

Hi ally--this is a good idea. I deleted most of our correspondence. I have these latest texts. I deleted all emails, and blocked him. I am not posting on that website, which is why he's acting out in this way, no doubt. See when I don't log in...he has no idea whether I'm lurking or not. I lurk rarely. The only thing I have yet to do, is change my phone number...and I'm planning on it. In talking with a girlfriend about all this today, she too is of the opinion, that this is all about getting my attention, and not coming to terms with the breakup. That he 'lost,' and I 'won.' That's how she thinks he perceives it. So, he's lashing out...saying he cheated...to hurt me. Then, today, he sends the other text. I guess he didn't cheat? I don't know how to interpret it, but honestly? Everyone? I'm starting to not care. I'm becoming indifferent despite his contact...yay!!!!! So, this is progress. Last night was setting me back, but if I ignore him completely...eventually...his reaching out will just be an annoyance, and nothing more. I just realized this, in typing this out. That I really am growing indifferent to it. I don't even care if he cheated, to tell you the truth. lol It's over, regardless. I am feeling better. Thanks for your thoughts here today. {{hugs}}

#7 May 15 - 1PM (Reply to #20)

Hunter

D40

You're Staring to think he's crazy? HAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Happy's Narc does exactly the same shit. Once you figure out the insanity that's when you can really let go and move on. They are really that FUCKED UP! It's sad, yet not our problem to fix. Scrambled Eggs. Hunter

#8 May 14 - 10PM

findingmeagain

If you really want it to stop

If you really want it to stop change your number or block him.

#9 May 14 - 9PM

Deidre40

{{{mer]}}

I am at such a loss! I called you the day he told me he didn't care if I died. It never ends! Just when I think this crap has died down, it starts up again. And it gets more outlandish as it goes along! Telling me he ''replaced'' me. I thought that word was chilling. He didn't say...''cheated.'' He said ''replaced.'' I am going with my gut, and I think he's lying, because he got wind from someone on that site, that I'm seeing someone, now. Seriously...that's what I think. I remember how incredibly insane he went when I ended the relationship. I remember how he begged for me back. Beg for someone back when you have another woman? Why? Although, nothing they do makes any sense. I know you have been going through things too mer. I will try calling you tomorrow. Did your ex ever reply to your email???

#10 May 14 - 9PM

sunny 523

This guy is a cancer!!! Not

This guy is a cancer!!! Not the horoscope sign, but the disease!! I am so sorry he ruined your night. Please block him if you can. He is purposefully trying to hurt you. You do not deserve this AT ALL!!!

#11 May 14 - 9PM

sunny 523

D.... He is such a demented

D.... He is such a demented and sick person! It's almost laughable if it weren't so pathetic. Don't let this ruin your night! You deserve a GOOD man who does not have a track record of abuse like your ex-N. I hope you are having fun right now and it is not running through your mind. Call me tomorrow and let me know how your date went! XOXO... Mer

#12 May 14 - 8PM

Susan32

"I replaced you"

What nerve! He's referring to you the way NORMAL people refer to cars, toasters, etc. The ex-Psych prof had a live-in girlfriend lined up before I graduated... you know, in case I dumped him. He was SO AFRAID he'd lose me, he had to get a girlfriend to move from LA to be with him in case I left. Yes, he was that panicked when he saw me dating. BTW- when I broke NC, I told HIM (the ex-P) that he's been replaced... BY A TODDLER! I basically said "You've been replaced with a drooling, bedwetting, tantrum-throwing baby who loves his Daddy-and this cute little baby's Daddy has the same name as yours." *Cue laughter*

#13 May 14 - 9PM (Reply to #13)

Deidre40

Susan

LMAO! OK...SUSAN...YOU GET A GOLD STAR. You made me laugh. I haven't been able to tonight up to this point. hahaha A toddler. That's funny! I'm so sick of these aholes. Seriously. I can't believe I ignored my gut. It screamed to me not to date this jerk last year. SCREAMED. And this year...I gave him a chance. STUPID BEYOND BELIEF.

#14 May 15 - 4PM (Reply to #14)

Susan32

Actually, I went further...

I took advantage of the personal info he had spilled to me, my own circumstances, and I actually compared him to AN INFANT. Toddlers are more developed than infants... and I compared to the ex-Psych prof to an infant. What made this possible? My sister&my brother in-law live in Massachusetts... as had the ex-P&his parents. My brother in-law&the ex-P's father went to Harvard. My brother in-law&the ex-P's father have the SAME FIRST NAME. I compared the ex-P to my newborn nephew... needless to say, what it said about him wasn't flattering. A drooling, tantruming (that's a term my sis invented), bedwetting infant REPLACED the ex-P... and YES, I happily informed of it. A BABY replaced the ex-P... and this baby has empathy, is happy, has much better character. Call me an opportunist. I couldn't help myself. God helps those who helps themselves.

#15 May 14 - 8PM

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

What a shit head!

He said that to hurt you. Isn't that so typical though? They all replace the current supply before letting them go. I think they always overlap, but they don't really let go of a sure thing until they have the other one completely hooked.

#16 May 14 - 9PM (Reply to #10)

Deidre40

Smittenkitten

I ended my date early. :=( This whole text thing...this whole narc thing. Just sick to my stomach. The guy I'm seeing, he has been a longterm friend, and he understands. He has followed this stupid story from the beginning, even when things were good. He said to me early on though...that because of his marital history, that I shouldn't date him. I didn't listen. I have not cried tonight, and feel like I need to. Smitten...here's the thing. I don't think he cheated. I remember how he acted when I broke up with him. He was insane. Frantic. Calling me non stop. He was obsessed with me cheating, and asked me repeatedly if I was interested in someone else. I need to change my phone number for sure. I'm determined. I don't want to ever hear from this man again. I'm so weary of this. Oh...and get this. He had the nerve to write another text...telling me...''you lied to me, dee...and i told you what would happen if you lied. so i replaced you!'' Then, he ended that second text with...''cease all contact with me.'' hahaha! wtf??? I'm reading these texts and I'm like huh??? So...he cheated on me, he claims...before we broke up. Then, he claims after I lied? Lied about what? whaaa? I felt like writing back..are you on drugs, now, dude??? But, I didn't. I'm so sad. I am not talking to my sister. Thought that this guy was going to lay low now. And here he is bothering me ......again???? And then he tells me to basically...leave HIM alone??? I did not reply. what does this man want with me??? I was doing so good. :=( I mean, I'm not breaking NC. But, this text rattled me. I shouldn't let it. I know that's what he wants. Why does this man want to hurt me? What did I ever do to him? We dated for roughly 3 months?? That's it! Good grief...imagine how he was being married to him? Holy cow!

#17 May 14 - 10PM (Reply to #11)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

I'm so sorry

I ask myself the same thing. Why did he hurt me so bad when I was always so good to him and loved him so much? I think that's why we're all here. We tried harder in these relationships than any other and only got kicked in the stomach and run over for our efforts. I never thought mine "cheated" either until I came to these boards and realized just how these guys operate. There was an incident at a party last October where he was "with" someone but SUPPOSEDLY didn't have sex with her. But it was cheating nonetheless that he was kissing and making out with her. I broke it off with him at that point but ended up trying to forgive him because after all, I'm married and long distance and he was lonely, so how fair was it of me to expect him to wait for me? Perfect set-up for a Narc. Prior to all the reading I've done here, I always believed that he was only with one woman at a time, although I'm realizing how we/they overlapped. He cheated on his wife with previous OW but made the wife out to be a crazy psycho bitch who had cheated on him first (which I doubt now) so he was a victim (sound familiar?) Then he started pursuing me while he was still with OW and didn't really end things with her until I was "locked in." Then the day before he went to the party with new OW, slept with her, and then replaced me with her, he said "I'm not interested in anyone else or dating anyone else, and if I were I would end it with you, I wouldn't string you along." He told me this at the same time he was planning on taking this OW to this party but telling me he was going alone. The day after the party, she is now the new fabulous woman he's been waiting for his whole life and I was kicked to the curb. So everything he told me was utter bullshit. And yet? Even though he was now with the girl of his dreams who he planned to spend the rest of his life with, he kept calling me and texting me. For 6 more weeks we kept communicating, even if it was just to fight and hash things out. At least he gave me that. I got to rant and rave, send all kinds of letters, emails, and tell him off several times before he finally told me, "Don't ever contact me again in any form!" Pretty much what yours said. Now keep in mind, HE was the one calling and texting me and I would avoid him for a couple of days before finally caving and responding. It's this kind of shit that makes us absolutely crazy.

#18 May 14 - 8PM

onwithmylife

Deidre

He has to be in control and stay in your head, it will end when you just keep delelting everything and don't read any of his BS, he will get tired of it in time.

#19 May 14 - 7PM

Gravity

Not surprised!

Oh honey, he just wants your attention! Even if you responded rudely that would still be NS to him because it means you still care. Ugh, can't they all just jet off to some remote island with no service somewhere and stay there permanently!? I hope you enjoyed your date, you deserve it!

#20 May 14 - 7PM

sara-smile

Deidre

I'm convinced they NEVER stop! Never. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but my experience is they will keep on and on and on until they get bored with tormenting you. My Narc hasn't gotten bored yet and it seems like it's gonna take awhile! Ignoring them doesn't work, being mean doesn't work and trying to be nice doesn't work. They are freaks of nature and psycho idiots! Sorry......I'm not having a good night with mine. He's been blowing up my phone and email all day. Now he's home with the GF and it's quiet. Typical BS.

#21 May 14 - 8PM (Reply to #5)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

Not a peep from mine

in over 8 weeks. He told me to never contact him again in any form whatsoever. No texts, emails or calls. And I haven't and I blocked him on FB. Last conversation he was head over heels in love with the new OW, so he sure doesn't need me anymore for supply. Even if that blows up in his face, I don't think he'll ever try contacting me again. He's too prideful and stubborn that way. Lucky me.

#22 May 14 - 9PM (Reply to #6)

Deidre40

Consider yourself lucky.

Consider yourself lucky. Silent treatment hurts too. I have had a mixture of both with this nutcase! I'm convinced more than ever that he is an absolute psychopath...more than ever after tonight. I let this man ruin my date. Thank goodness that this man I'm seeing, is a longterm friend. But, still. I don't want to keep bringing this dickhead up to him. He is understanding, but everyone has their limits.

#23 May 14 - 6PM

wacaet

None of us deserve the

None of us deserve the treatment we got...just be thankful you are away from that bastard

#24 May 14 - 6PM

Mindy

Deidre40

Think about it, the only reason he sent you that text is because he feels threatened by you being happy and over him, so he's trying to hurt you to keep you stuck. Classic seesaw, put you down so he can feel up. Forget about him. Enjoy your night. You deserve to. *Big hug

#25 May 14 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

Deidre40

Mindy

I think you are spot on here. He is a sick man. I've thought about this tonight. This text was creepy. He acts happy and smiley on that site...like he's the life of the party. Then, in text. In the relationship. He was this dark creature...angry. Rageful. I am grateful we don't live in the same state. I'd be worried for my safety. Seriously. I pray that he stops bothering me. He is bashing me on that website, I noticed earlier today. I shouldn't be lurking, but at the same time...now he's bashing me? The guy I've started seeing, said tonight...''ask yourself, will this all matter in 6 months?'' His point was, if not...then, let it go now. It's not cancer. It's not my kids with cancer. He's right. We make these assholes bigger than life. I just am angry, because I didn't think he'd text me anymore. So, I thought I only had one more ''gap'' to seal off...which was that site. I bet because I'm not going on there, now he's bothering me in text. I must change the number. I appreciate everyone here listening to this. No one understands this, like you all do. {{{hugs}}}

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