Goodbye Niels

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#1 Oct 28 - 6AM
Viola22
Viola22's picture

Goodbye Niels

Dear Niels,

I think the time has come for me to finally say goodbye. Let me put this as rationally as possible: it is not working out.

For some reason, I got to meet you at a certain time in my life and for a while knowing you did me some good. Yes, for a while I felt like a woman under your gaze. Yes, for some time I achieved great things while in your thrall. But no longer. By now, I have become some kind of emotional robot waiting to get her buttons pushed. That is not what I call living.

For some reason, God made you a Narcissist : you need constant validation from a thousand people at the same time. It’s not enough for you to have one high-powered job, you need three. You are not content with just one woman, you must have fifteen. And you need to be on the move the whole time.

So let us say you have your needs. As you know I am not able to fulfill all of them, being only one person.

I get part of this endless quest for attention. I too would probably enjoy a high-flying life surrounded by beautiful, cultured, dynamic people. I too enjoy it when such people occasionally lavish respect and admiration on me. But I know such attention to be superficial. Once people start seeing the real person, they move away. Unless they value you for who you really are and are willing to accept your weaknesses.

So I’m only one person. With her strengths, her weaknesses, and her needs. These, I’m afraid, are not being met.

Trite as this may be, I need someone to talk to, who understands me, does not judge me, and empathizes. Much as I appreciate you giving me ‘solutions’ to my problems, I do not need your ready-made answers which do not apply to me. I resent my issues being dismissed off-hand. I need someone who genuinely listens and cares and helps me work through things. You do not fulfill this need even though at times you have acted like you could.

I also need someone who finds me attractive and beautiful regardless of, or with all my flaws. Someone who craves my presence and my touch every day. How is that possible ? Well, I know I felt it for you and thought you lusted after me specifically. But what you really needed was someone to fulfill a specific need at a specific time…

I need someone to romance me and to deserve me romancing them back. But I’m always the one initiating contact these days. So much for romance.

I need someone to expand my cultural horizons, someone to share things with. Despite appearances, that is not happening. Remember how you made me read a 900-page novel last year and then did not exchange one word with me about it ?

I need someone to uplift me spiritually, to help me see the good in people, help me right the wrongs in this world. You do the opposite. You bring me down with your approach to life and your ‘future faking’. Your apparent enthusiasm is just cynicism in disguise. You say you believe in God but what you believe in is your over-arching power.

You are great at one thing : projecting an image. I have only seen you 6 times in my entire life and yet you have occupied over 365 days of it. In other words, what you *don’t* see is what you get. The man I saw each time was a fake. The man who does not get in touch and manages to manipulate every single phone conversation is the real one. You are the guy who avoids, deflects, shifts the focus and lies so he does not have to bring his whole self into the relationship. You do not value truth nor wholeness.

So there you are. We do not share the same values. We do not fulfill each other’s needs. Please let us stop pretending otherwise.

The next time you hoover – be it next week or next year – the next time you get the urge to scratch that Viola itch, the next time no other woman is available for you, I will be gone.

So goodbye Niels.

See you never.

Viola.

Oct 28 - 8PM
BlindNoMore
BlindNoMore's picture

That's one fantastic good bye

Oct 29 - 1AM (Reply to #4)
Viola22
Viola22's picture

Thanks!

Oct 28 - 1PM
pattylyn
pattylyn's picture

Excellent

Oct 28 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Viola22
Viola22's picture

Thanks Pattylyn and you're