Goodbye Letter To Tom (narc #2)

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#1 Dec 13 - 10AM
Sparrow's picture

Goodbye Letter To Tom (narc #2)

Dear Tom,

I met you at a very vulnerable time in my life, but you already knew that.
I fell in love with a man that came along and rescued me during my darkest of days, but you already knew that.
I held tight to the man that made me feel whole again, but you already knew that.
I became someone that I didn't recognize, due to our relationship, but you already knew that too.

You knew all of these things long before I did. You knew them long before you even met me. You have been doing this to women for so long, it is second nature to you.

The idealization, the devaluing, the discard...........the roller coaster ride that I was on because of you and your twisted ideas of how to obtain joy in your life. I was there for the taking, and boy oh boy, did you take. You set out to destroy me, as the many women before me. But what you didn't expect, is for me to finally wake up, see you for who you really were, see you for what you were, and the most poetic thing of NEVER expected me to benefit from it. See, only you are to benefit from these acts.

But the last laugh is on you. I gained so much knowledge, so much strength, so much power from my experience with you. This relationship, although most would find you to be my greatest mistake, was the best thing to have ever happened to me. As painful as it was, how crazy you made me feel, and how horrible my life had become as a result of you, I rose above it all..........because of my relationship with you, I was forced to learn about my previous marriage and the man that I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. If not for this "close encounter of the third kind" yes, that is my term of endearment for you, I would have never made the discoveries that I have that allowed me to release myself from my "real" life, my "real" past, my marriage, and to be able to honestly start my journey to healing.

So yes, Tom, instead of destroying me, as you set out to do, you have actually played a large part in the opposite, healing me. Pretty crazy turn of events, huh?

I would write more, if you mattered that much. But you don't. The person that you pretended to be isn't real, so you don't exist in my world at all any more, so there wouldn't be anything more to say except to say..............I have read numerous times that I can not win when we go up against a narcissist, or any disordered person for that matter. But guess what, they were wrong..............

I win. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.


Dec 14 - 5AM
Femmegem's picture

Well said

I keep fantasising about how I can somehow get my revenge and play games with him, but I realise that too is unhealthy! He shouldn't matter to me at all. The more I move on, the more I win!
Dec 14 - 5AM
serenity1's picture


I could not have wrote a better letter, It was very good and so true, I also lived a very painful experience, But at the same time taught me a valuable lesson, They did try to destroy us, But No they did not win, They only made us stronger, Time heals all wounds, And as the saying goes No pain no gain, I have learned so much and become so much more stronger, I can stand on my own now, I still have my weak moments, The temptation to look him up, But that would just keep me in the sickness and disease, So I fight it and fight it, As though it was a terrible, toxic, drug addiction, We all have to remember and I am saying this for myself as well, Never and I mean Never No Contact, In any way shape or form, The longer you do it the easier it becomes, And if you have a urge, Hurry and get on the group for moral support, So that you dont relapse Hugs to every one