Goodbye Head Messing

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#1 Jan 19 - 6PM
Black Pearl
Black Pearl's picture

Goodbye Head Messing

The goodbye message i wrote you there was no nasty bits nor was there any hatred because i didn't feel that feeling, the feeling i felt was HURT, extreme pain in my chest, shock, numbness, but most of all i felt extremely hurt.

I am happy with the message i sent you because i am not one for revenge or evil doings, I prefer to be kind and to be good to others.... which is something you already know, for its the reason you sought me out.

This part i am about to write is 9 weeks on from our break up, the pain you have inflicted on me, the head messing, the doubting, the confusion i have put a stop to by no longer allowing you in my life.

What i would like to say is F*** you you broke my heart so damn bad.
You were the man that i thought was "The one".... the only man i wanted as my husband, lover and best friend.

I loved you so damn much, i loved you more than anything,I gave you the best part of me.... and that was sacrificed because you would rather possess me than allow me to be my own person.

I gave you my heart... you took it and used it like play dough, you manipulated it and squashed it into your perfect shape....when really you didn't need to touch it because you F***ed it up.

You took advantage of my loving, kind, giving nature, just because i am patient doesn't mean i'm going to put up with your bull S*** for as long as i shall live.

If you want something to control, manipulate, posses, and make feel worthless than take a good look at your own life because there's no need to touch anyone else's.

Ever since you knew your power you made me cry... I've come to realize that I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love... that in fact the "real you" is not the man i feel in love with. That was hard to grasp at the beginning to know that you were pretending to someone aren't.
Because the "real you" was uncovered that fateful night when all hell broke loose when i finally saw the "real you".... the "ugly you".... all i can say is no wonder you were hiding it because what i saw that night was pure evil.

You can profess to your friends and family that i played you, that i am the crazy one.... anything you can think of as to why i left you.
But what you have done to me is something you can never hide from God..... and that is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

In the end "Evil" never wins........ Whats done in the dark will always be brought to the light.

You went looking for someone "young and dumb"... someone with a heat of gold, someone who puts others before herself... and you found her... you found ME!... yes that's right i am all of those things but you made one mistake because "dumb" i most certainly am not!

Your a Narcissist and you need help.
Get out of my head, get out of my heat, get out of my soul..... you have no right to be apart of me any more.
My life is mine!..........and it is not your's for the taking.

I am now invisible to you just like you are to me.... so leave me be and don't ever contact me.

Black pearl.

Feb 9 - 12PM
Phoenix2012's picture

Great job!

Anger is not something to be ashamed of--ever. It is a powerful emotion that protects us when we listen to it. How we use our anger is the important thing. In your letter, you are venting and using your anger to give you strength and clarity, which is good. You can still be kind-hearted and be angry about being mistreated. Bravo!
Feb 15 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Black Pearl
Black Pearl's picture


Thank you Phoenix :) taking things step by step, day by day and with time i know that my heart will heal. most of all he has hurt me a whole lot, i feel angry when he comes up with scenarios and delusions that have no truth to them, his insecurities that he subjects me to. but i have put a stop to that i no longer have any contact and nor do i read any of his verbal vomit, he is no longer in my life and i am focused on healing myself. it just hurts when you give yourself to someone and that love isn't in return.