Goldie ROCKS!

Hi All,
I am pretty far along in recovery ( I hope)( 8 months NC) but the news of my Narc getting engaged to Narc OW triggered me terribly.
" tornado" mess Narc called me to meet him to talk. He told me of sick OWs sales pitch to have him marry her so they could have a huge wedding and all her parents wealthy friends would give them gifts and $ and then he could have a fresh start and get his financial problems helped.

I laughed and told him to do it. I was trying to be strong, still thinking we had a chance and I, as the longstanding GF ( 8 1/2 yrs) could still "win" him back-thought he would see what was "real".

He told me there was NO WAY he would ever marry her. He seemed genuinely annoyed by her plan and arrogance.
At this point Im sure he was weighing out the pros and cons of each of us. And this was her big Pro.

But back then he still had some $ and now he doesnt.
Desperate times...

They are engaged and I hear the wedding budget is $100 grand.

This sent me spinning...bad...
back to the pain and trauma of the love triangle,
made me angry that he is getting his life back and will be on easy street
all happy and perfect, while I am still struggling,
upset me that OWs plan really worked,
made me mad because I like thinking of him old and alone with his sick self
and even made me a little jealous ( gross!)

One on one with GOLDIE helped me so much....!

One of the smartest things she said was that I have unstick my thinking that he will be happy and perfect,,,he will never NEVER be either of those things.

She said I have to stop GLAMOURIZING this wedding and his perfect life.
I have to stop thinking "he is doing great while I am still hurting"
I was talking myself into these false ideas!

But the truth is:

HIS HELLISH SOUL AND VAPID SHALLOW SELF WILL FOLLOW HIM WHERE EVER HE GOES!!

Goldie was soo right...Trying to retrain our thoughts about the Narc and OW is important. We can get stuck thinking about them and not about ourselves.

THANK YOU SO MUCH GOLDIE!!

I highly reccomend one on one if you are feeling really "stuck" as I was!!!