GJ | Lisa E. Scott

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#1 Sep 16 - 10PM

heritage

GJ

I wa the one that was anally raped by ex N and filed a criminal complaint. Well it went to the grand jury and after a week the GJ decided not to indict him. He knew all of the cops and got his office mgr to vouch for him. I am severely depressed. he got away with violating me. It was a criminal, hostile act. He told me it wsa an acccident after it happened and I believed him because I loved him so and he claimed to have loved me so. So I figured there was no way he would ever hurt me like this. He told the detectives he didn't remember having anal sex. It was something I was so against and he knew it. QWe talked about it often and I told him I would never engage in it. He got off. I'm ujpset because the Prosec never got my medical records or subpoenad my text messages from him asking if I was sore. After I discovered he was a sociopath and went to a psych he told me it was rape. Anal sex cannot be an accident. I am humiliated, feeling down. I testified last Fri to GJ. He had no remorse after what he had done to me. Then the abuse heightened. I now know it was not an accident. The soc got away with it and his life goes on. I have to live with the memory and the hostile, violent, criminal act.

#2 Sep 18 - 10PM

Journey

I hate your narc too and you

I hate your narc too and you were very brave to try to prosecute him. I am so sorry this happened and how it turned out. I pray you find some comfort soon from the horrible memory of that hostile violation. ((((hugs))))

Journey on...

#3 Sep 19 - 9PM (Reply to #22)

heritage

Thanks journey. The hate will

Thanks journey. The hate will stay with me forever. it is difficult t accept. I called the Prosec today. I still have some unaswered questions. I was guilty of loving this man. I will never be the same. They destroy humans in any way possible. I am going to get the feeling of my dignity back. It's what I miss the miss since this happened to me. Thank you for your support. xo

#4 Sep 18 - 9PM

tresor2

I'm so sorry

that this happened to you. Your story brought back memories of when my ex N date raped me. He had no remorse and just stood there with this cold empty look. I really liked him and there was no reason for him to have done that...it was just too soon for me. Anyway, I'm ashamed to say I continued seeing him for 8 years after that and later, when I brought up the incident, he said it was no big deal because "it would have happened anyway." This guy was a lawyer and he was working a case for a family member. These high functioning N's are some of the worst. Their sense of entitlement and Godlike delusional thinking make them extremely dangerous. They get away with pretty much everything due to their social status, wealth and power. Nobody stands up to them. I have so much respect for what you did. It took a lot of courage and I'm so sorry you are suffering. You did the right thing and probably saved many other potential victims. Hopefully, this ahole will think twice before he does it again. The justice system frequently sucks because so many N's become lawyers and take on positions of power. The entire Whitehouse is made up of lawyers...They have no empathy and understanding of NPD and APD and that's one reason your guy got off. Also, connections go a long way in getting people off. I know you will heal in time and Im glad you're able to write and share about your experience. Hugs...

#5 Sep 17 - 10PM

juliamarie

I feel violent

After reading this post, I am so incredibly angry for you!! This is the most reprehensible thing I've read on this forum to date. I can't say how sorry enough about your pain...your anger...your frustration. I want to kill this person. It's scary these assholes can charm their way out of their crimes. And it is a crime....a serious one. OMG....Prayers for you. Please, please don't let this derail you. He won this time, but you getting your life back is the best revenge. AGH....I hate him.

#6 Sep 18 - 8PM (Reply to #19)

heritage

juliamarie

It has been torture. I want the grand jury to indict him, then it would have gone to criminal trial and if convicted, jail. He told the detectives "he doesn't remember it happening." The guy is a dentist, a sociopath, a narc and PA and he completely violated me. He got away with it and it is killing me. It consumes my thoughts and I cannot rid myself of the pain he inflicted. It is always fresh in my mind. He is a monster. it is the only term that descibes him. When the Prosec was describing his traits as a sociopath to the grand jury, they didn't get it. I could tell. They were thinking a dentist, a professional, I doubt it. Well I am not the only one he has destroyed but they could not bring up his past or criminal activity. Had to stick solely to the rape. He is free to rape again and he will. He knows he won't get caught. Thank you for writing me.

#7 Sep 17 - 11AM

Pride and Shame

Legacy123

I hate this man. I hate what he did to you. He should be shot. Our legal system let you down. I am glad that you are in therapy to work your feelings through. You sound like a strong woman and you will succeed. I have no doubt that your life will be stronger and better going forward. Thank you for sharing your horrible brutal story.Please know that women are reading this who are in similar situations. You are getting through your nightmare and giving them hope that they can be as strong as you. God Bless.

#8 Sep 17 - 8PM (Reply to #17)

heritage

Thanks Pride and Shame. I

Thanks Pride and Shame. I have pure hatred. Thefre is no way to describe it. I know why women don't turn their rapists in if they know him. This case got to the grand jury because they believed me then the jurors turned it away. I blame the prosec for not showing my med records and gettiong a court order to get my old texts. They don't want to be botherd and the victgim feels like no one fought for you. It's more than a let down. it makes you feel like you don't matter. I want his rep to suffer. I can't help it. The psycho carries on. I believe in myself and that is what caused me to fight for myself. This happened in Nj. Thank you for your thoughts.

#9 Sep 17 - 10AM

Goldie

Legacy 123

Call me or PM me if you want to talk about this further. I am so sorry that he put you through this ordeal. You did the right thing and you did stand up for yourself and it is unfortunate when the legal system lets us down. Sounds like the biggest problem here was due to shoddy preparation by the DA's office. I know this hurts and perhaps makes you angry and sadly this is not uncommon. You get your good prosecutors and your bad ones. For most of them this position is a stepping stone to move on to private practice and they are using the position as a learning curve and make many many mistakes in the process. The important thing to hold on to for now, is that you did it. You found the courage and the strength within yourself to do what was right for you. This says more about you than anything else. By going forward with this, you were sending out a message loud and clear that what was done to you was wrong, against the law, and you were not going to accept this abuse. No one can take that away from you. You put him on notice publicly and he knows what he did and you know what he did and get going through with it was huge. Many women don't. I don't knIow if he will ever rape again. Hard to say. I do know that after what you did, he will think twice about it because you sent out a message that it is not going to be tolerated by this woman and who knows, you may have saved another woman from this by what you did. We never know the long term results of our actions. I am proud of you for what you did and I am sure that it was one of the most difficult things which you will ever go through as a woman, the rape and then the hearing and the disappointment of the end result must be devasting for you. As you process your feelings try to concentrate on the fact that you took your power back and did not allow him to get away with this and although, he won't be getting jail time, it is on record and he was made accountable by the humiliation of knowing that others now know and he was at the very least called on his crime. I am sending you my prayers as you begin to heal from this. Be gentle with yourself and know that we are here for you and offer our deepest love and support for you. God bless, Goldie

#10 Sep 17 - 9AM

Used

legacy123

this is called justice is it?, i would have liked to say UNBELIEVABLE that he got off, but i have heard it in other cases....this is why women dont bother going to the police...i know women who havent, b/c not only does their name get besmirched...9/10 the perpetrator gets off... i am so sorry for you, i am so sorry what you went thru, i am sorry you were raped and then raped again, by the public system.... he doesnt remember, what this was his defence...he doesnt remember...so he didnt even say, I DIDNT DO IT...he SAID HE DOESNT REMEMBER... the pain you are going thru, i can only imagine... he will do it to someone else one day...the fact he got off,he will thing he has CARTE BLANCHE to do it again..... if there is a next time[or should i say when?]....i hope he gets what he deserves then..... YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS XXXXX

#11 Sep 17 - 8PM (Reply to #14)

heritage

Used

That's how I felt about justice. That is why women don't bother with reporting rape. I believed him when he said it was an accident to me because I believed his words of how madly in love he was with me. It was a 5 yr relationship. I was madly in love with him so I believed him. But soon afterwards the mask started slipping and then all the way off. The worst d&d then he told the detective he did n't remember this happening. Anal rape? Oh ok how easy this is to forget? I just want him off the earth. He destroys human lives. He sets out to destroy people. He doesn't deserve life. I told him I am one of God's children. How dare you. He's a monster. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. It's in the Bible and I want him to suffer. The sad thing is it's something I cannot get rid of. Can't wash it away. Bugt deep down he knows what he did. He just doesn't care and has no remorse. He just didn't want to get caught and he didn't. Thank you.

#12 Sep 17 - 12AM

Winter

You are not destroyed, just very hurt and I am so sorry

All my empathy, all my compassion, all my words of support, all my love and respect are with you tonight. I can only imagine what you are feeling right now. You are so strong and it takes so much dignity and pride not to be broken and fight for your rights! I do admire you for every action you took! Yes, it was a criminal, hostile act, but the monster did not destroy a beautiful loving woman. She went to the court and did her best to stand up for her. You are so strong. You are being terribly hurt, aggressed, not destroyed. No! All my thoughts are with you tonight! Love Winter

#13 Sep 17 - 9AM (Reply to #12)

heritage

Thanks for your note Winter.

Thanks for your note Winter. I want the dirty feeling to go away. When he crosed over that boundary and violated my body it changed me forever. After going thru the legal process what I did learn is sociopathy is foreign to us. The Prosec explained he was a sociopath and sited examples but the jury didn't get it. I know I have to close this door but my fear that he would get off has come true. He will violate another woman again. It's the thrill of getting away with it and causing pain to someone that gets him excited. His statement was "I don't remember that happening.' So I am a liar and must be nuts to think it happened. But I am glad I did it. I tried to make him accountable. I was believ ed but they felt not enough evidence. I wish all rape cases went straight to criminal court. The jurors didn't have any understanding of the disorder. Thank you for your kind words. It helps me so much. Love Legacy

#14 Sep 17 - 12AM

freaked

5 years ago, nh did that to

5 years ago, nh did that to me. At that time I believed him when he said it was accidental. For 4 days I suffered terrible pain. after that sex was terrible for me. I knew he was a ruthless womanizer, but at that time I did not have PROOF, had only hearsay and inferences. Well, sex was always terrible, in my own mind I coined a term Marital Rape only to discover that such a term already existed. I could not dare to say anything to anyone because my voice would be quashed. besides i sacrificed all of my self to this demonic h in order to provide shelter for our child. sex felt worse and worse and more worse. he was like a beast. only now i am able to still receive food and shelter without having to pay for it to h via sex. the memory of sex with this demon still terrifies me with a weird kind of horror. Thank you for posting this. This is the first ever time in my life i am talking about what happened to me. It is so frightening. saddest part is...i never had any other man...so I had no clue what sex should be. It was my own personal feeling that something was horribly wrong right from the beginning...20+yr ago. I never even once enjoyed sex. and now I will never even know what good sex feels like... anyway..no point feeling self pity.. i should be thankful to God that my child and me are still alive.

#15 Sep 16 - 10PM

FarmGirl

HUGS!

I was raped by an XBF so he could assert his control over me during a fight. I was traumatized for years. I never pressed charges against him because at the time I was living with my parents (during my divorce) and I knew my N mother would say I was asking for it (or something equally as heinous). Anyways - I'm so sorry you went through this, and then went through testifying with no results. Keep your chin up and smile because you are a beautiful and wonderful person. It'll get better with time. HUGS xx

#16 Sep 16 - 10PM

Layla

I am so sorry.

Hello Legacy123, I am Layla. I too was violently raped by my own husband. He tried to strangle me too........he went through great lengths to try and get me to not testify, and his attempts were meaningless anyway, as I would HAVE to face contempt of court if I did not. He only CARED about HIMSELF. He had NO remorse for what he had done.....NONE! He only cared about getting his sorry ass out of trouble- yet again! Of course, when me testifying was a certainty, the coward, on the prompting of his expensive defense, pled guilty and was given PROBATION. That's IT! Had I not been his legal wife, his abusive ass would of been sitting in jail for at least 10 years. A part of me died that night. I am working to re-gain that person, and it could take YEARS. I am so sorry, and I understand the humiliation and the injustice. We have done NOTHING to these abusers to deserve that. We all know that sex should be the ONE place where you can be vulnerable and feel love with your partner. Unfortunatly, our partners are fuked up in the head abusers with no shame, no remorse, and can't even muster up a "half-ass" sorry. My abuser got worse after this RAPE too. 18 months after this incident I finally got rid of him for good, with ANOTHER order of protection, no less, 3 months ago. All newbies reading this take this to heart and learn from my pain- THEY DON'T CHANGE, THEY DON'T GET BETTER AND THEY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT! There is no LIGHT in them, only darkness. Be strong and stay safe everyone! love~ Layla

#17 Sep 17 - 12AM (Reply to #7)

O2bfree

Can I ask a question....is it

Can I ask a question....is it rape if you have had too much to drink and youbtell him no....but he gets on top of you and does it anyway? This happened more than once and I called him out on it only to get the silent treatment in return...

#18 Sep 17 - 8AM (Reply to #8)

heritage

Yes by law it is rape.

#19 Sep 16 - 10PM (Reply to #4)

heritage

Oh Layla

I am crying. What you wrote is so simlliar and causing me to relive. He had no remorse either. After he did it and I was in shock, hysterical, bleeding and excruiating pain he had a cold, blank stare. His eyes were glazed. He would have pled also if he got that far. I wanted him in prison for what he has done. he is a monster. He destroyed a beautiful, loving woman. He carries on and I will never be the same. The justice system in Nj is a joke. They are in cohoots with the criminals.l I had hope though. When I testified I told the jurors I wanted to take a lie detector test ubt the prosec said they don't like victims to take them. He will strike again. it's a failure on the justice system. They know he is a sociopath. I think I should file for a protective order. He is big on revenge. I am glad you had the courgae to press charges against your husband. It takes strength to stand up to them regardless of the consequences.

#20 Sep 16 - 10PM (Reply to #5)

Layla

The "stare"

YES! Mine did too! That cold reptillian-eyed glassy look...I had seen it on mine before, but I will never remember that night. Legacy, I am sorry if I caused you to re-live the memory. I am. My words show you that I KNOW and understand. We must and we will move past this- even if "lady justice" didn't work in our favor, swift, fair justice will one day be passed down to these abusers. And I want to close with one more thing- Your RAPIST didn't destroy a beautiful, loving woman. She is STILL HERE. She is YOU. He will ALWAYS be a sociopath loser. ALWAYS. I walk this journey with you, we WILL come out free and more beautiful and loving on the other side. love~ Layla

#21 Sep 16 - 10PM (Reply to #6)

heritage

Reality

You do understand Layla. I know it will take time. I am alone a lot but I feel safe that way. I go to work and come home and hang out with my dog. I realize how sick and disturbed these man are. I am thankful I never got the chance to marry him. It would have been prison for me. You have survived and I will, too, one day at a time. Thank you.

#22 Sep 16 - 10PM

Redhead1

Honey, I wish I could give

Honey, I wish I could give you hug. He is a sick, heartless, selfish cruel monster. I know this means nothing to you right now, but HE WILL get his karma. Don't forget that. I am sorry that happen to you. xoxoxo

#23 Sep 16 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

heritage

Thanks Red

Thank you Red. It is the worst thing I have ever been through. The hatred I have for this man is off the charts. He took the control and powere away from me and violated my precious body. I hadn't even had intercourse with him because I was waiting for our marriage. He had other plans. I will never be the same. I have been with a sexual assault therapist for 6 months. I do believe in Karma. I was hoping it would make the news. His name would be released, not mine. He's a dentist and his worse fear is his repuation. Not sure if there is any other recourse.

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