gave some closure

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#1 Mar 20 - 5PM

Anonymous (not verified)

gave some closure

ONE TIME, and it was the last time I saw him I saw he was acting. He was acting the same way he did the first night we were together, when he was that prince charming. I will never forget it either. I was watching him and I thought WHO THE F--k are you, and what are you. Usually he acted smooth, and calm and slick with charming digs to smooth me over. I actually saw through his act he was acting all caring and kind and genuine.

I can see though how I fell for it because I never saw any other behavior from him other than that masked acting job. They can never go back to that act job though because they know we wont buy it once they have taken off their mask, but he did just briefly and it was the most sickest thing I ever saw, how he could sit there and put on that show and act for me, then turn around maybe a month laster and call me a cunt or whore, or do his sick perverted things. Has anyone else ever seen through their act like that?

#2 Mar 25 - 6PM

foolmeonce

the mask slips

There were numerous times the mask slipped, but the one that remains embedded in my brain was one time when I was telling him I no longer wanted anything to do with him, he started to cry - like a six year old - with his bottom lip out -and his face all scrunched up- making little sobbing noises - I looked at him and laughed and realized he was imitating his six year old daughter - he had no idea how to cry and chose a child to imitate. Five seconds later the act stopped (guess he didn't appreciate the laughter) and he said in a very calm and collected manner- ok then I gotta go.

#3 Mar 25 - 8PM (Reply to #32)

Barbara (not verified)

control by temper tantrum

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/28/narcissists-rages ...because they are SIX. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#4 Mar 21 - 8AM

cynthia (not verified)

I didn't "see" the act...

But the last time i spoke to him on the phone, I "heard" it. November '09 was a year since i found out he was living a double life, after 7 months his new gf dumped him & he picked up another supply within a month (supposively still with her). When he called, he asked about dd but somehow got on the subject about our past relationship. He said that all he wanted was for me to love him, he just wanted for me to hold him. He wanted to lay on my chest & feel my warm skin against his face & hear my heartbeat! WTF?! I wanted to bust out laughing, that was so freaking hysterical & FAKE! The damn funniest thing is that he said he loved everything about me...my cooking...my cooking??? What the freakin f**k is he talkin' about???! This is a girl that can burn a frozen pizza! (I forgot to remove the cardboard!). He must be out of his mind! He has combined some of his memories about me with one of the other girls that knows how to cook cos it sure wasn't me! Bottom line is, if i hadn't come across this website, i would have actually falling for all that bullshit!... Heartbeating?! Loved my cooking?! Still crackin up about that shit! LMAO!!!!

#6 Mar 21 - 8AM (Reply to #29)

cynthia (not verified)

lets all puke on 3

He said that all he wanted was for me to love him, he just wanted for me to hold him. He wanted to lay on my chest & feel my warm skin against his face & hear my heartbeat! you can be sure it was ONLY your heart that was beating, he doesnt have a heart, he is dead like a vampire. I heard that shit too, your skin is so soft, come over her lay on me you feel soo good. bla puke already.

#7 Mar 21 - 8AM (Reply to #24)

cynthia (not verified)

oh ya they do that

He has combined some of his memories about me with one of the other girls Mine did that to me (this is personal but oh well...) A few days b-4 I was going to visit him he said, "and this time I want you shaved completely down there, last time you were too hairy", I froze stunned, he got his pussies confused because last time I was shaved bald also, shows how much they remember us.

#8 Mar 23 - 5PM (Reply to #28)

Barbara (not verified)

combo girl!

He has combined some of his memories about me with one of the other girls Psycho-Boy did that with me a LOT - and when I tried to correct him, he'd rage. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#9 Mar 23 - 4PM (Reply to #27)

rache

I wax mine

HATE stubble from shaving.My psycho always wanted waxed one minute HAIRY the next.LMAO

#10 Mar 23 - 3PM (Reply to #25)

TexN (not verified)

Cyn

That sick bastard! You should have told him, "You got your p*****s confused, you big dickhead!" (lol!)

#11 Mar 25 - 12PM (Reply to #26)

cynthia (not verified)

arent the sick

Isnt that sick, ya I should have told him, but I dont think he remembers one from the other he always said P---ies are like pig snouts you cant hurt em, WTF does that mean ewwww and they all have an odor some are just worse than others, ewwwww TMI thank you very much, not mine no sir, I am a little apple blossom, ha ha ha Well at least I dont smell like ASS like he did one time so THERE!!!! He wanted it hairy like real hairy like an animal, arm pits hairs and leg hairs not shaved either then he wanted it all bald, freaks I mean go screw a monkey if that gets you off, oops he probably would have. lol

#12 Mar 21 - 2AM (Reply to #19)

rache

TexN!

I, almost got sick and dizzy/faint reading what your ex said,as,it was the same (EXACT!)thing my ex psycho said to me-but-he wanted to suck t*t like a baby! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(and,i am ~THE~best dang cook up N.(thats North,lol)

#13 Mar 21 - 8AM (Reply to #23)

cynthia (not verified)

that reminds me

he said if I get your pregnant I want to nurse from you, hey have had it, you will love the taste of it, lol

#14 Mar 21 - 3AM (Reply to #20)

TexN (not verified)

Rache

Our relationship was doomed from the get go. He lied to me about his age. I didn't find out for months (& of course, he had already move in), i was freakin 11 yrs older than him! I knew i was older but not that damn old! He didn't look that young. He was 26 & I was 37. I wasted 7 whole yrs that i couldn't afford to lose on that worthless MF!..I guess if my narc would have asked if he could suvk my t**** like a baby it wouldn't have been that odd! Lol! I later became text buddies with the other girl he was seeing at the same time. She is closer to his age (he's 34 now, she's 32). When it was my bday, i texted her & said,"Well, its my 47th bday. Can't believe i wasted my last few good yrs on that jerk... I'm old enough to fart dust now!" (She got a kick out of that!) Poor girl was scammed by him too (owes her a few grand)...

#15 Mar 23 - 4PM (Reply to #21)

rache

I'm 53

now,almost 54(MAY)-he will be 67 shortly too,and,he still thinks being 13 years older than me isn't much! SHEESH.The kids dad is 51.

#16 Mar 24 - 4AM (Reply to #22)

TexN (not verified)

Rache

He doesn't realize that 67 is closer to 70 than it is to 53??? Duh! He's a bonifide freakin senior citizen! He needs to face reality!

#17 Mar 20 - 10PM

rache

Oh yes!

Mine would do it every(other) day-one day all sickening sweet(saccharin)the next(vinegar)it started happening when i stood up for myself.i am NOT submissive,although,i am open-minded,fair,and,caring.

#18 Mar 20 - 10PM

cynthia (not verified)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I cant stress enough to everyone after experiencing that no matter what your going through right now, NC, trying to break free, going into deep depression, whatever you are battling, whatever stage you are in, PLEASE PLEASE all you gifted and beautiful, witty, wonderful women dry your tears, over the dream man that you seemed to have so much fun with. Dream man never lasts because dream man cant keep up the act forever and when the act is over we see the UGLY, the perversion, the truth, the sick destructive mind brainwashing games they did to us But where is that dream man you ask? Oh he is still in there but he only comes out when he absolutely has to and he HATES doing that too, But why you ask cant he just be that dream man? I asked that too, because that is nothing like what he really is, ever wonder why the dream man left so damn fast? Ya you guessed it. One thing we will hurt over for a long time to come is the betrayal that was done to us and that is understandable. But if you are no longer under his spell you will get sick if he ever shows you what he was in the beginning, not only is it not real, it awful to see again, trust me you dont want to see what he once was. but since I did and as sick as it made me I can only say these are extremely sick individuals. Dont ever foget that as you miss them, want to call them, want them to call you, DONT GO THERE, RUN as fast as you can from such individuals. Just focus on what you have to do in order to get yourself mentally healthy again and secure in yoursel again that is all you need to do. Never look back, never go back, run run run to the real dreams you want to achieve

#19 Mar 25 - 4PM (Reply to #15)

gullablegull (not verified)

The "act" wasn't the only

The "act" wasn't the only thing he couldn't keep up!

#20 Mar 25 - 6PM (Reply to #16)

cynthia (not verified)

ha ha

ya that too in the beginning is even an act, his penis was actually acting then when the mask fell off the penis you have this little elevator button and as much as you pushed it and pushed it it just didnt want to work, but give that elevator button some porn and a little self stimulation by the master himself and it perks up, meanwhile they have a beautiful, sexy, model woman laying next to them and we are thinking WTF, wait let me call up some of my friends at Victoria Secret and lay them across the bed maybe that will do something for the limp noodle, that doesnt even do much, how about a man maybe that would get it going? Because I sure as hell arent getting you excited - Guess the beautiful woman will just have to watch him jerk off and there you have it the sex life with a narc.

#21 Mar 21 - 8AM (Reply to #14)

Monica

I could tell he was struggling with that mask the last time...

...we were together, when I had already decided enough was enough and it would be THE last time. I had also already decided to sacrifice my job if it became too difficult for me to deal with him in business (and I'm actively looking for a new job, too). As time had gone on, it did become harder and harder for him to put that mask back on. And I could see right through it that last time. I had developed "x-ray vision" to see right through the mask and the act!!

#22 Mar 21 - 8AM (Reply to #13)

Monica

I could tell he was struggling with that mask the last time...

Sorry...duplicate post!

#23 Mar 20 - 10PM

wallaby (not verified)

Yes

I think you have to be out of their thrall or spell to see it as that though. SO good for you! They can keep pulling in the Prince Charming act as long as you buy it - once you don't buy it- like you experienced - it's really over. For you at least (unfortunately doesn't mean its over for them though). I watched mine do "the seduction" on someone else once - to lure her in - and also to make me jealous. I was aware that he was "turning it on" - but now I realize THE WHOLE personality is a mask. What Barbara said in a few other posts about them is really sticking with me - the only feeling they truly experience is PRIMITIVE RAGE. Anything else they slap onto their faces for hunting purposes (which is pretty much all the time) is all mimicry/acting. Sounds like yours got pretty comfy with expressing his only true feelings around you - anger.

#24 Mar 20 - 6PM

Monica

The last time I saw mine, too.....

I had tried to end it so many times and he did end-runs around my NC because we have business connections. I knew this was the last time that I would ever see him personally. I had decided to lay my job on the line at that point. Resign if I couldn't get him to leave me alone except when absolutely necessary for legitimate business. I watched him. I listened to him. Very, very closely. Every word. ("You see, I really do care about you.") Every motion. Every action. ("Come here, let me give you a hug.") I looked deep into those dark eyes (which are actually hazel but I swear they were pure black that day) and I saw, really saw, his emptiness, his evil, his soullessness. I really saw that he was looking at me as an object and not a person. An object that he wanted to control and manipulate and use and abuse, whom he never cared about, never was a "friend" to, never gave anything back to. I saw it all. And I was disgusted and felt sick to my stomach. It was so powerful that, the next time I knew a coworker was talking with him on the phone, I actually did go into the bathroom and vomit.

#25 Mar 20 - 7PM (Reply to #10)

Healingnow

analysing them

This sounds like it is a good thing to have time with them to analyse things once you realise what is happening. If I was to see my ex now I'm sure I would see him differently. I would imagine it would be very strange. If we are no contact then how can there be any awakening moments.

#26 Mar 20 - 6PM

quietude (not verified)

if I'm following your meaning...

...I think what stands out in my case is after I found out about narcissim...I mean, what it REALLY is all about, I noticed a lot of things like repeated key lines in his e-mails, the luring was sooo obvious, his 'feel sorry for me' tricks, his pathetic attempts to explain himself, and his back peddling when I called him out a couple of times (I could almost hear the "oh sh**" from across the ocean). It was actually funny to watch him scramble a bit, I must say! If I created a drop of sweat on his brow, that's a small celebration for me. Obviously, things were MUCH clearer after we had separated. Little does he know what I was doing behind the scenes...learning all about dirty little HIM. He still doesn't know. All he knows is I faded into the woodwork without another word...I know what he thinks of me, "ungrateful, uncaring, stupid witch". One thing that confirmed this was several weeks ago, he e-mailed me something about what he's done for me, money-wise..won't give specifics. But I'm sure it was to wave in my face, "see how I helped you? And see how you're suffering now because you don't have my help??" I must be doing well because my first thought was, what a F***ing loser. That's interesting, cynthia...he was pulling the same old crap again, but you saw him from a totally different perspective. Did you react with an eye roll? ;) Did you call him out, or let him go on like an idiot?? I guess you can call that some closure, the fact that I was onto him while he was still trying to come back. I feel very fortunate to have stumbled onto what was really happening.

#27 Mar 20 - 10PM (Reply to #7)

cynthia (not verified)

It was very creepy

Did you react with an eye roll? ;) Did you call him out, or let him go on like an idiot?? No I didnt let on to anything, but when I got in my car my mind quickly flashed back and I said, OMG he was that same person he was 3 years ago humble, caring acting, trying to be sincere and acting like he cared about me, it only lasted about two minutes because we were saying goodbye and I was getting in my car (I could just feel in my whole body that he couldnt WAIT for me to get the F--k out of his truck so he could leave)He even called me a delicate blossom, I thought what the hell was that all about what a stupid thing to say to someone. I must say you will NEVER NEVER see through their act until you are out from under their spell. I also want to note even after his mask fell off he still kept a smooth joe type of act on, like Joe Cool is the best way I can describe it, the fake charming reasurrances, of course I missed you, I always love being with you, of course I love you, etc.... This is how I sort of figured mine out at least, in the beginning I got the perfect gentlemen act, during the duration of the relationship I got the smooth Joe act who was good at covering up lies and the truth with his charm, its only when they are really really trying to convince you they are sincere is when that gentlemen dream man act comes on, he was probably trying to get rid of me as fast as he could so he was acting like he wished we could have been together longer but had to get going so he was really laying the sincere act on thick, just like our first night together when he was trying to secure me. Funny I always wanted to see that dream man again and in the end when he showed it to me it was really scary because it was so fake and insincere. Then we wonder why the GF stays around? Well, there you go THATS WHY, this is the act they give them. It gave me closure because it just made me see how mentally ill he was to con, pretend he loves a woman so they will sleep with him, same thing as rape. Its closure for me because in the end it let me see what I fell for three years ago, it all seemed so real and sincere what we now call an illusion they created for us. They have so many different personalities, they are so many different people. I wish everyone could experience what I did, it would truly help you let go of the illusion and mr dream man. Like Monica said it makes you sick, nauseated, to see the transformations they use to lure their victims. This is not a mentally healthy person, none of them are. Their pathology makes them the most dangerous and destructive people to walk the earth doing this to others, no different than killers everyone, they killed everything inside most of us and not a drop of blood was shed

#28 Mar 20 - 10PM (Reply to #8)

quietude (not verified)

cynthia

Yep, they try to lay it on thick to lure us back. You know, this worked a couple of times with my ex. I remember telling him after we broke once...I was sooo angry, "Do you think I'm stupid??"..when I suspected him of something. He was like, of COURSE not! You are so smart, blah, blah, blah... But if I said that after he secured me, OH -the rage he would have laid on me! Hindsight and all...I WISH to God I saw through the act then. I guess the important thing is I finally did, after a few kicks in the teeth. It's interesting that this man, who I was supposed to MARRY (choke!) this time last year, has dwindled down to such a low-life miserable creature in my mind. I agree with your killer analogy, I guess that's the closest to feeling the life being sucked out of you, minus an actual illness, injury, disease...but I guess that's what they essentially are, all bundled into one!

#29 Mar 20 - 5PM

Barbara (not verified)

i have

yes - with a few of them. It's terrifying experience isn't it... like finding a dead body on the street... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#30 Mar 20 - 7PM (Reply to #5)

wallaby (not verified)

YES or like

finding a zombie sitting holding a martini and smiling at you on your living room couch

#31 Mar 20 - 6PM (Reply to #2)

neveragain5

Yes. After I figured it out,

Yes. After I figured it out, he kept calling and begging for me to take him back. I had to see him this last week because I had to work where he is currently working and he started crying and begging for me to give him another chance. I am an empath by nature and for the first time in my life, I felt no sympathy for a person that was "down on their luck". It was a major breakthrough and I am thankful. I am still disgusted and hurt by the fact that he claimed to love me and probably had done this with countless women, but he gave me the gift of a very valuable learning experience.

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gave some closure

gave some closure

the mask slips

control by temper tantrum

more questions for you girls

I didn't "see" the act...

lets all puke on 3

oh ya they do that

combo girl!

I wax mine

Cyn

arent the sick

TexN!

that reminds me

Rache

I'm 53

Rache

Oh yes!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

The "act" wasn't the only

ha ha

I could tell he was struggling with that mask the last time...

I could tell he was struggling with that mask the last time...

Yes

The last time I saw mine, too.....

analysing them

if I'm following your meaning...

It was very creepy

cynthia

i have

YES or like

Yes. After I figured it out,