FUNCTIONING...DAILY LIFE ACTIVITIES...

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#1 Apr 12 - 12PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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FUNCTIONING...DAILY LIFE ACTIVITIES...

Early on, I could not function...AT ALL

I could not:

Eat

Sleep

at one point TALK

I did not bathe on a regular basis - and that is not like me at all...I love a good shower, in fact I need one to loosen up and I need one before bed too...that went out the window for about a month - yes, I bathed but not daily...shhhhh don't tell anyone

Dishes piled up

Laundry forget about it...

Cat Box peeeeyoooo...stinky stinky

Fish tank...it's a miracle from heaven they survived!

it all went to hell...

and NOW Michele has one giant big mess and she feels better emotionally but now the body has decided to work against her...

BUT - the reality is, Michele can do a little bit each day but this is just so overwhelming for her...

A MOUNTAIN of papers...bills, letters, all important just piled high in one great big heap.

I didn't address them because I knew that in some cases, I'd have to talk on the phone most likely placed on hold, indefinate hold then forwarded ninety five different places...you know how that referral fatigue works...

AND so I made sure to pay my rent, my phone bill and my internet provider service bill - my son's tuition and his bus...BUT Michele's life is scattered ALL OVER HER HOUSE?

Anyone else go through this?

I'm ready to dig in.

Newbies, I'd hate for you to be where I am.

I note the "vets" are up to exercising...and I encourage you to exercise but Michele can't really because of her condition...so washing a dish will be my exercise.

Anyone want to join a cleanliness is next to G-dliness group to help motivate eachother to address the mounting dustbunnies?

Share on this thread some of your challenges and maybe we can get it together one step at a time.

P.S. I am pleased to report I'm back on my personal hygene routine...and my son is actually coming in closer proximity now that I've mended my ways...LOL

Hugs!

Apr 13 - 3PM
CougarBabe7
CougarBabe7's picture

Functioning

There were a LOT of things I couldn't do during the ending of my last toxic relationship: I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't stop crying. Somehow, I did manage to shower, most days. I let the dirty dishes pile up, had a pile of unread mail, forget dusting and vacuuming - I just didn't have the strength or the energy for that. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, but not nearly as well as I did before the break-up. The "fall out" from a toxic relationship is devastating! Most of the time I just sat here crying and trying to get over it all. I felt sorry for myself and wondered if I would ever "snap out of it." But in time, and with the help of modern medications, I got back to sleeping better and wasn't crying as much. It takes time. I've been in recovery for over 2.5 years now & I'd say it took me almost a year to get back to my normal routine. My house is clean once again. I shower every day. I read the mail every day. I hardly even think about my exBorderline anymore. I'm working on the writing of my book, and another HUGE project, which I won't even get into on this board. Anyway, my point is, thankfully, the devastation is NOT permanent. And with the love and support of your friends, family, and all of us here on this site - recovery IS possible. One day at a time. Love & Light! ♥
Apr 12 - 4PM
kgirl
kgirl's picture

YES!....I'm having serious

YES!....I'm having serious motivation problems. I find I'm either doing the bare minimum...or overdoing it to keep my mind off my troubles and so I don't cry in front of my family. I promised my sister in-law that I'd run a half marathon with her as a relay this Saturday. I feel so bad because I won't be able to do it....and I'm letting her down :( I was supposed to get up every morning to run and train and I just couldn't do it. But I'm feeling glimmers of myself returning...thanks to this forum! I actually decorated for spring around my house :) ~KG
Apr 12 - 4PM (Reply to #11)
michele115 (not verified)
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KG

I posted a link for a forum Flylady.net under the subject in this thread...MY Domestic Guru or something like that further down... When I first got sick years ago, I ended up in a similar conundrum. I used some of her tips for motivation. I think her site beats Heloise... Hugs!
Apr 12 - 1PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Michele

I still have many whole days where I mostly blog, read this board, and try home remedies to get my endless headache to go away. My house was always immaculate, tidy and sanitary AND I had people over, dinner parties, all of that. I was very organized and nothing was out of place, even with two little girls. Yes, it all went to hell, along with my daily exercise, hygiene, doctor and dental checkups, paying taxes, all of it. Yes, what a giant mess. I have a sad little life I live here, "working" at home. Thank God my ex husband is running our business by himself, because I could not talk to a customer on the phone or, God forbid, give a two hour bus tour if my life depended on it. I literally cannot work, except to maybe write a paragraph for our website every few weeks or something ike that. I had to give a lecture last week and I actualy thought I was going to die. I've been doing this stuff for twenty years and could do it in my sleep, but it was the worst day I can remember and I'd rather kill myself than do it again. So, I basically get up, go through the GRUELING routine of making coffee, making two lunches and pouring two bowls of cereal for my daughters, take them one blcok to school, and then come back here and sit at the dining room table. I make a list of what "TO DO" for the day. It's always the same list, because nothing ever gets done: -do laundry -do dishes -clean out fridge -clean out kitchen cabinets -hang up clothes -take out garbage -take our recycling -drop off cleaning -drop off packages at UPS -go grocery shopping -pay bills -call IRS -call accountant -call business attorney -get eyebrows waxed -make mammogram appointment -make dentist appointment -get car washed I have not had a drivers license since October, because I cannot bring myself to go and renew it. I have to take that stupid written test and I have such little self esteem that I'm convinced I will fail it or that someone will see me drive there and have me arrested for driving with no license. My husband did not pay the taxes for three years (lied about it) and I am now about 80,000 dollars in debt to the IRS--and it just keeps adding up every day. You know how I pay bills? I pay the electric bill when the power is shut off. The gas bill when the gas is shut off. The cable bill when the cable is shut off, etc etc. The rent goes to the landlord usually around the 20th of the month. They are friends upstairs and saw the hell I went through with the narc so they don't even ask anymore. At the end of the day, I have maybe crossed one thing off the list, but usually not. We order food because I am no longer interested in one of my greatest erstwhile pleasures, cooking. A mess.
Apr 12 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Helldweller my dear dear soulmate in recovery!!

You don't know how much you have validated me today...I am logging off for a bit...but I will air my dirty laundry...figure of speech of course cause it's all over the living room in the cart, on the rocking chair and the sofa...and I've run out of febreeze! *joke* I do some laundry but the necessary stuff, the rest pffft! Necessary is my son's uniform...the personal items I do in the shower now that I'm back to bathing and a few nightgowns oh boy I can't even document the madness that has become my humble but wrecked abode! We will work though this...we are going to get it together bit by bit! Oh boy, thank you sooooo much! Hugs!
Apr 12 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

My Hero and Hopefully Domestic Goddess Guru....

Aside from Heloise...just can't seem to embrace Good Housekeeping....giggle The GREAT....FLY LADY!!! A coach to bring us back to our inner domestic goddess! http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_Decluttertips.asp http://www.flylady.net/
Apr 13 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Now this is my kind of

Now this is my kind of cleaning....love it! :)
Apr 12 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

michele

I remember seeing this family drama show one time--not a reality show, before those--where the mom of five kids just decided one week to "let it all go" and relax. I was so fascinated by it. There was crap EVERYWHERE. I always fantisized about this. Back then, I could have done this and then just casually cleaned up for a day afterwards, putting everything back. I am in SHOCK that my home looks like this. The worst thing about it is that I worry that I won't be able to ever put it back to normal. Just like the rest of my life, where I think, "Will I ever feel nomral again, I think: "Is this now going to BE what my normal house looks like?"
Apr 13 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Helldweller - checking in...

Today my goal is to attack two hotspots... A table that holds the microwave and a ton of other stuff it was not intended for And another table that holds my turntable with a ton of CD's spewed all over the place Dishes The stove and Dinner... Where are you at today? Hugs!
Apr 13 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Disappointed

I only got dinner done, the dishes and washing them the second go round and the stove as a bonus I emptied out the fridge some and did some spot cleaning. The weather is bad and just standing to do those things caused the pain to escalate... Hopefully tomorrow I can get it done first thing... And I was really really motivated it's not for not wanting to, it's wasn't ducking out or avoiding...it was just pain... Grrrrr
Apr 12 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

helldweller

I just lost a post...I must have been distracted by the clutter!...HA! Well, for me, I washed dishes and my son and I will have a home cooked meal tonight. Flylady has tips, supposedly a coaching forum where you can allegedly get your whole house cleaned in 27 minutes a day in a month or something like that, when in a situation such as ours. I believe that "recovery" is one small step at a time...so in that arena...I vote we make "reading" her site sort of a "first step" and a "qualifying activity"... LOL Hugs!
Apr 12 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
michele115 (not verified)
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