Oh, what a manipulator. It is way too fishy that he lost his job right before the divorce. He makes me want to scream. And now he's saying he wants to take an easier job and live the simple life?! He THINKS he can avoid responsibility for his children, but the bottom line is, he CAN'T. The court will not let him. Because he and his GF are delusional, they mistakenly think he can avoid responsibility for his family. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. As Barbara said, he is in for a rude-awakening. Follow the advice Barbara gives on documenting everything. Oh, and have your neighbor take pictures of them sunbathing all day so you can show the court he is doing absolutely nothing to try to find a job!
get the neighbor to take pictures with a newspaper in frame so he can't say you or she are LYING about the date!! Show he's doing NOTHING to find a new job.
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
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the only one things will be rough on is HIM!
I hope you documented that he said this - he's angling for you to ask for less money. DO NOT BE FOOLED!!!
Let your attorney deal with this - you are winding yourself up over something that is NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals
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How is it not my problem. If he shows no income or a lesser income that is less money for the kids and I to live off of. I had goals of going to school, now it is all put on hold because I will have to go back to work right away. ANd him? He wants to take the summer off. He wants to get a simpler life with a much lower paying job so him and GF can live the "simple" life together!!!
This impacts me in a big way. Courts can't force him to find a job like the one he had! They can only force him to work. Right now, the kids and I need his income so that I can get on my feet. My lawyer thinks this is all very fishy, and interesting that he is crying broke and jobless before the settlement.
Meanwhile, neighbor called to tell me he and his GF spent the day suntanning in my backyard.
1. he took money from marital funds - without your o.k. - a judge will order him to return every penny - job or no job
2. a judge will order him to get a job within a certain amount of time or start selling off his PERSONAL assets to pay you
3. the judge will use your state's calculator to figure out child support and alimony (www.divorce360.com) - the judge would have done that ANYWAY. Many of the monies will be calculated from the SALARY HE WAS MAKING AT THE TIME OF THE SEPARATION.
4. he still has the house and is supporting his GF there - that will be taken into account. A judge may ORDER him to sell the house with the larger share of proceeds going RIGHT TO YOU.
Overall, this may lower child support but probably not much. A lot rides on the reason(s) he was let go. And when he gets a job - you can certainly appeal to the court for more money.
The bastard's on the hook either way mallory. Any affect on you and the kids will be minor right now.
BE SURE you get the arrangement where the STATE sends you your child support & alimony checks and HE PAYS THE STATE. DO NOT LET HIM ARRANGE TO PAY YOU DIRECTLY BECAUSE THEN HE CAN & WILL PLAY GAMES. The other way, if he defaults - the state goes after him and he goes to JAIL! and you still get paid.
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Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals
http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
My lawyer is going to depose his boss and human resources to get the whole scoop not only on his job loss, but also on GFs job loss. Hopefully we will get some real answers. Only problem is that STBXNH was very tight with old boss, and old boss may not tell the whole truth.
Looks like we are still going to be on the payroll with health insurance for the next six months. That gives me a little breathing room. House where he and GF live is on the market.
THe two of them are so pathetic. Now they are both unemployed. Seems like everything has really worked out for the two of them since they found their "true loves."
this is HIS problem not yours.
make sure your attorney knows. his company will have to give the reason he was fired to the court - and I would bet his behavior contributed! And he took money from your marital accounts so he will have to repay it - somehow.
He's toast - try not to worry. Anything he tries to tell you about not being able to pay you... DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. You are probably entitled to a good portion of his severance package and he may have to pay for your COBRA insurance for the kids until he finds new employment.
this news doesn't surprise me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals
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Told attorney. She is finding out the reason he was let go, and finding out if affair played any part in it. SHe also suspects he may have wanted to be let go. He was acting a bit suspicious this weekend. He was talking about how he feels pressured to look for a big salary job, but now he wants to take that stress off of himself, and find a less stressful, less paying job. It just seems weird that he said it this weekend, and now he is unemployed. Totally overwhelmed. I have little kids, including a baby. Things are going to be rough.
It will impact me in everyway. It will impact the settlement, my financial future, the kids financial security.....everything. I just can't believe he lost his job right before the divorce.
Hell yes he did this on purpose. Is it possible to have his boss or co-workers as a character witness for you? Just a thought. He is going to spin this next and say you are just fighting and taking him to court because you want your child support. We all know its due to you and necessary but he can try to make you look greedy. In addition to the other advice, keep good record of your living expenses. Claim financial hardship. Document that what you spend money on is the wellbeing of the children and what he spends $ on is gf. Get every fact(receipt, statement,etc) you possibly can. You never know; this may be necessary. Your playing hardball now. Get mad. Get tough! Were here for you!
Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet; for everyone is fighting some kind of battle - anonymous- :o)
nolongercontrolled
you're wrong.
it won't impact the settlement
It will impact HIM and his money - not you - HE got fired - he will have to PONY UP.
This is not your problem. Many abusers do this on PURPOSE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals
http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
I was not aware of what stage you were in.
I have a feeling he will try to use this against you some how. Please don't let him blame you or anything....
Amy
Mallory
yes!
mallory
Barbara...
mallory
Thank you Barbara
mallory
barbara...
malloryforest
impact
Hell yes he did this on
http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview
nolongercontrolled
mallory
I see....