Final Contact

My Story: We were togther for 3 years. The first year was great, the 2nd year was not so great and the third year was horrible. I guess it was the "frog in the pot of water" syndrome. You know, where if the water was boiling, the frog would jump out but if it was cool and then slowly brought to a boil, the frog would just stay there and die?

I broke up with my N three times. The final time was in Oct 2008. By the end of the year, he was beside himself and wrote an AMAZING letter to me. Even though I was extremely skeptical, I "let him back in". Five weeks later, it was apparent that the letter was bogus and he was behaving in his normal selfish, impatient-with-my-needs way. I had asked him (on Feb. 15th) to be there for me during my daughters (my only child that I raised by myself)wedding which was to be on April 18th. I said I'd pay for everything but I needed his help. He seemed reluctant and it was heart breaking. (The letter he'd written was all about us being a "team" and "being there for each other".) His first question to me was, "So, how long is the drive? You know how my back is!"

Well, a little over a week later, after I'd had a bunch of stuff go wrong at my house and was on the phone with him, he became agitated and hung up on me. "You've RUINED my NIGHT!", he'd said. So, I called him the next day and he didn't call me back.....for two months. So, the wedding came and went. I was totally alone without any moral support....and it was very, very hard. It was the hardest, most draining thing I've ever done. It turned out great but the amount of resources needed (financially, emotionally, and physically) was unbelievable.

Two days after returning from the wedding, he called. I decided that after two months of no contact, that the no contact should continue. After his repeated hang ups, messages and emails, I finally emailed him one line: Please do not contact me any more. He had his friend call and ask permission to call me and I responded, "Absolutely not".

So NOW, he leaves me a message on my phone begging for one last communication....that he "can't live without telling me something". He told everyone that would listen to him that the reason he hung up on me was because I was UNREASONABLE. This is not true. All I did was ask him calmly to say something kind to me and his response was to explode and hang up. He still will not admit to anyone the truth. My suspicion is that he wants to hurt me one more time....that he wants to get on the phone and give me a piece of his mind.

I am not responding but this fending off that energy is exhausting. Should I "just get it over with" and let him blast me ONE MORE TIME? Or, should I continue with no response and hope he'll just finally stop?

Thanks in advance for your help!