fetishes of N's

29 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 23 - 2AM
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

fetishes of N's

I'm just wondering afer the post about oral that i got to thinking............did any of your N's have weird fetishes that you overlooked?? I'll start.......my ex is 33 and now dating a 56yr old woman....but,when i left him,i found out he was watching crazy amounts of schoolgirl porn...'barely legal',for some reason that really hit a nerve with me,prob because i am older than him...i'm 42...he was masturbating all the time,even though i love sex and was never getting it...i def think he was withholding sex from me to 'punish' me...oh,i almost forgot...he was sooooo jealous of vibrators....what a fricking idiot....

Aug 25 - 12PM
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture

Fetishes

At first mine liked to choke me and get called daddy, then he started looking at granny porn and posting personal ads. Then, he started looking at gay porn. Then, he stopped having sex with me unless i begged, then he left me. He also insisted that we go to pagan drum circles where there were nude 16 year olds runnign around.
Aug 24 - 11PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

mine was 43....

Mine was 43,me 53....he looks 50 me 40....When with him i noticed he was on jpop sites,usually for teenagers,high school musical,loved those japanese girls and boys bands,his favorite movie is Peter Pan...i thought well he has 3 teenagers kids maybe that is the reason...till one day i googled his name and saw him he did look barely 18...i told him hey are you sure you want to keep this relationship with me?oh baby he said you know i am your DaDDY FOREVER,YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL....I gave him all he wanted...oral,anal,i really had no problems with being open minded with him,i did and unfortunally still very attracted to him....after having sex 2 times after 2 years in a long distance relationship in which we talked daily on Skype,videos sent,pictures,talking about al subjects a really rich exchange of ideas and of course sex chat for a while till he just stopped and said wasn,t feeling right anymore he D&D me telling me that in order to F**k me he had to think about something else...he had ED,THE FIRST TIME HE OULD,T KEEP IT UP,EVEN AFTER ORAL,and the second time he wanted anal,i did let him,and was about2 minutes....when he was ready,he said,well i can see you have been around the block...Yeah right,i was married for 25 years sexless marriage for 14 years and never,ever had have aanal before...i did for him....and got dumped...if i say miself i look good,i am sexy and would never have said no to him,he was the love of my life...i do not understand how a guy that has a pretty fucked up life as he has(hard worker,underpaid,3 children with ex,he is separeted from,no friends,always working,internet porn,gaming,was abused as a child,depressions)would not wanted a person like me that really wanted him with all his issues,i was a friend and a lover...i wanted nothing much from him,just to be a part of his life,no matter how...and see that he got love ,good food and the feeling of really having unconditional love....is very sad,he pushes everybody away,even his kids...he is a really caveman,only with superficial acquaintances....He told me not so long ago that i came close,that's all...and that i am not a weak person....WTF....but he wants nothing to do with me ,good or bad....i am still devasted and it has been almost 2 years since he dumped me....(please read my story)My pic is in there too...

Aceonelady

Aug 24 - 9PM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Fetish for children 16 and

Fetish for children 16 and under. He is a child molester. Did not know anything till i was out of the house and busted him. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 24 - 8PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

now that I have confirmed thru this forum than he is an N...

I knew there was something not quite right about the sex thing... You see I had been in a relationship with the N at age 22 -26. He cheated all of the time but our sex life was completely normal back then. We had alot of it sometimes 3x a day but it was normal. When I reconnected with him on fb both now age 43 something was different. He told me that he had gotten into working out recently He sent me some pics. What I got were some very sexy pics in chaps and stripper underwear with a cowboy hat on posing on his Harley. He looked good but this was completely out of character from the guy i new before. Red Flag but ignored it. Then finally after seeing echother a few times (he lives 300 miles from me) we go to sleep together. Im thinkin this will so romantic that the college sweethearts are back together but he had something very different in mind. It was almost like porn sex. No open mouth kissing. just bent me over if you know what I mean. I turn over on my back and wham he lost his erection. I was mortified. Im thinkin OMG he doesnt think Im pretty anymore. I cried. He tried to continue (orally on me) but I wouldnt let him. I cant even imagine what all of that was about. I mean Im not Christy Brinkley but I know I am attractive and even if he thought I wasnt most guys can still have sex if its not there number one pick. No there was something weird going on. I just couldnt put my finger on it. Then a couple of months later we had some cute little texts that turned into let me see some skin pics meaning he wanted some pics of my tits. I said send me some pics. well he did alright. one with he shirt off and one of his d*&k. Just all seems so strange... Any ideas on this? The failure to launch thing really upset and demoralized me.
Aug 24 - 10PM (Reply to #22)
Amy
Amy's picture

Sounds like a domination

Sounds like a domination issue and that he didn't want to see you as a person, but an object!
Aug 24 - 11PM (Reply to #23)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

yes. its just hard to accept

yes. its just hard to accept this is someone I have known technically since age 17. To see me as object. I look back about 11 years ago i ran into him. I was with my husband. He was startled and had such a hurt look on his face. Nomally I would think it was just an act but it happened so fast he didnt have time to make it up. I will never forget the look on his face.. like I had kicked him in his stomach. I could tell he felt something deep in his gut. We didnt speak just exchanged painful hurt looks. I have always had the feeling that he always had to be the one cheating on me because he felt I would eventually do it to him and abandon him. Just a gut feeling I have always had. In some respects I feel like he has always thought I was better than him. My friend said to me the other ya know you look even better in your 40"s than you did in your 20"s. He lost 40lbs and got his body completely ripped in the 3 months we chatted on fb. It was almost like it was in anticipation of him seeing me and showing me look I look better than you now. The fragile part of me wants to prop my ego up and say I think he was intimidated atleast thats what my friend said but she doesnt know the Narc world. Oh and can I say this...what guy has professional photos made for fb??Red flag Red Flag!
Aug 25 - 12PM (Reply to #24)
Amy
Amy's picture

No one here is going to tell

No one here is going to tell you things to intentionally hurt you (my comment about the object vs person issue). We just tell each other what is real and what is not to help you see clearly. I know how painful it is. I really do. i am so sorry you went through all that. I am so happy you got out of that situation. This "man" didn't deserve you. Professional photos for FB???? freak.... lol!
Aug 25 - 1PM (Reply to #25)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

By no means do I think

By no means do I think anyone here is say anything to intentionally hurt me. This forum is like an answered prayer for me. for 20 years I wondered why I wasnt good enough for this boy/man though the last ten years I never thought of him much only on ocassion and then FB....When I friended him I sent a friendly Hi remember me one of you ex girlfriends? his reply: "I could never forget you." no omg how are you? He immediately jumped into the seduction. The sad thing is I have loved this man for the better part of 20 years though after our break up 16 years ago I fell in love married and went on with my life but somehow, though I didnt think of him that much he was still present in my subsconscious. When I think of what my family would say if they new i was speaking with him... Oh gosh dont even want to think about that. I was 17 when I first met this man. What I thought was a sweet story is really a very sad one. Thanks for listening peeps. I feels so good to start really letting this all out with people who understand. Yep professional photos Im not kidding. Hes hot but It just seems so gay! Oh and the story gets better regarding that...but I will revisit that this evening when I have more time.
Aug 24 - 2PM
hopefuljms
hopefuljms's picture

Mine was younger also and

Mine was younger also and when I think back to all the crazy things I agreed to do, I could kick myself!! Then I caught him on the internet with a webcam masterbating for everyone to see and I hit the roof!!!! Of course then came all the BS about please forgive me, please don't leave me, I promise I will get therapy and I believed him! This is a guy that I never said no to, no matter when or where. I hope he has fun with his new supply and she puts up with his crap!
Aug 23 - 6PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

It's the disrespect issue

I'm glad I didn't even have "normal" sex with my ex-Psych, because even that would have been about power&control... and he lacked the ability to enjoy it. Even normal sex can be exploitive with the wrong person (and Ns/Ps are definitely WRONG people) He didn't like seeing me academically happy... and that would've applied to the bedroom as well. Ugh. If it's degrading to the other partner, makes the other partner uncomfortable, and there's the coercive element, THEN it's wrong... whether it's kinky or normal.
Aug 23 - 2PM
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Ummmm, eww, sweetsam-

Yeah, um, I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth too, when I read that. Yeah, towards the end mine started getting a little kinky, too. After a while, they get bored with "normal" sex, and have to do other things to stay interested in you. Mine asked repeatedly for anal sex. I told him no, I personally thought it was weird and after trying it to please him, way too painful. Any guy who loves you would respect the boundaries and would just be happy with the fact that he's getting some from you, but Noooooo, not these fuckwits! They are never satisfied. Mine ended up dating a gal that according to him, wanted to do a threesome and he was appaled by that. That was before I knew he was an N. Now Im thinking it was the other way around, the lying asshole.
Aug 23 - 2PM (Reply to #18)
Amy
Amy's picture

Or....

it was the Madonna/whore complex. If SHE wanted to do it, he didn't think it was ok. That is pretty typical.
Aug 23 - 11AM
Amy
Amy's picture

hmmm...

Mine was obsessed with girl-on-girl and would badger me about being with another woman (which I did a few times - for his benefit). In fact, after the year long breakup, we got engaged and he PROMISED that he wouldn't force me to do that again. 3 weeks into the engagement he said I was no fun anymore bc I would not kiss other girls. He also like butt-stuff. To the point where he would pin me down and force it on occasion, saying that he knew I liked it once he was "in". (Excuse me while I throw up now.) I think with him it was all about control - making me do what HE wanted.
Aug 23 - 6PM (Reply to #10)
savvylady
savvylady's picture

RE:mmmmm

This is all too familar! it was like reading my thoughts for the last 5 months. He,as I found out is putting ad's on CL looking for anything and answering anything. I found text in his phone and pics...(throwing up in my mouth)..I have tried to get away from him for months and he wouldnt let me go..callling,texting, and coming over. I pray now he is GONE! THe hurt he has put me through.
Aug 24 - 1AM (Reply to #15)
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

craigslist

Mine started going on craigslist too! The funny thing was that i looked at some of the ads he answered and these women were straight up GHETTO! I called some of the numbers and the women were from the stockton hood,and UGLY....a guy friend said that when you're paying it makes it alright to treat them like a whore and do anything without being judged....whatever,creeps!
Aug 24 - 1PM (Reply to #16)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

OMG, sweetsamm---

Do you mean Stockton, CA? I grew up there and got the F out asap! It was a semi-decent place to live when I was young but then its been going downhill fast over the years. I know what you mean.....skanks galore! And when the N and I called it quits, he still tried to bug me, but chasing after ANYTHING that would lift up her butt. It was definitly quantity over quality. They know how to play the numbers game. Eventually, someone will fall for the BS. DISGUSTING
Aug 23 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
Amy
Amy's picture

I'm sorry savvylady

I went through that for 5-6 years. I pray that your N is gone too.
Aug 23 - 11PM (Reply to #12)
savvylady
savvylady's picture

Today is day 12 of not

Today is day 12 of not seeing his face! He has a newby on the hook..still emails his ex and has told her of the new fish on the hook but not me (I was alomst 2 years). I never met a friend or a family member..I was his dirty little secret. The newby is I gues he feels perfect..maybe its her perfect body. He added her to his new facebbok account and so forth..I am not (hate the term) ugly by any means. I am angry and hurt but am moving on. He is sooooo sick! CL email ad's for casual sex..and so forth..oh good grief I could go on and on..I was told I was crazy..NOT I found out is what it was! Anyway I am taking each day at a time and he is under DANGER IGNORE in my phone. It has made me very scared to date for a long long time. I was married to a N for over 10 years and when it was over it took 5 years to date. So I got another one and feel like a failure. I thought I could spot them a mile away...SIGH
Aug 23 - 11PM (Reply to #13)
Amy
Amy's picture

Not a failure

If they were assholes in the beginning, we wouldn't get sucked in! Don't blame yourself. It is time to move forward and focus on yourself. Don't EVER let that man make you feel like a failure. You are a hell of a lot better than that.
Aug 24 - 6AM (Reply to #14)
savvylady
savvylady's picture

RE: Not a failure

Amy, Thank you! I appreciate those words..I mean that :) Honestly I thought I had something to do with attracting the second dirt bag. The N called me in the middle of the night..my phone rang I didnt even look to see who it was,frankly I was woken out of a sound sleep and said hello. The N started to speak and it dawned on me who it was,he was ordering food at a drive thru. It asked me to hold on and I hung up and didnt answer the repeat calls..still havent listened to the VM. It text me and text me and I just said "move on its over..go away". Today is a new day and I have new plans for a new life of success! Hugs to all..have a great day Savvy
Aug 23 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

sickos

LOL......ya,the butt-stuff...and ofcourse the girl on girl porn,i never did it.....i can only imagine that poor 56yr old gf and the sick N...lol,the visual is amusing...
Aug 23 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

Pervs for sure

sweet samm, my ex always dated much younger or much older( I mean much older women) except for me. He had a school girl thing going on,too. And he asked if he could have anal and I said no. I'm no prude, but the older women/younger women thing freaked me out. I wasn't supposed to know about the younger women(found out after the D&D) but the older women were older than his mother! I think all men try to see if you will have anal, some are just more persistent. And vibrators? He just had to deal with it : )
Aug 24 - 1AM (Reply to #4)
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

Older women

The older woman thing is completely freaky since he's 33 and she's 56....but,whatever,...he's so uncool,he can't even get a young girl if he tried..they like tattoos,cool clothes,bad boys,he's none of those,and doesnt have enough money to be a sugardaddy....AND any woman that would fu## him without a condom is completely nuts!! I know for a fact that the gross pig he screwed a few mos ago gave my girlfriends husband chlymidia that he in turn gave to my girlfriend who's been married to him for 25yrs and never been w anyone else,isn't that nice??? i'm sure my n's dick will rot off soon...
Aug 24 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
Used
Used's picture

sweetsamm

n ,goes with older women, when i said, oh have you got a mother complex, he was realy offended, as time got on he said i am doing them a favor.lol. funny on the subject of the women they go with, every name they mentioned, i got this picture in my head of glamorous woman or real babes, was i wrong, 1 of them, looked like a street woman, well she probley was, i think i thought they would be better than him, b/c i am. all my freinds and family used to say what do you see in him,what is someone like you doing with him. i know what they mean now. my exh, realy did look like a male model, tall dark slim and very very handsome, the narc could not have looked less like him in any why. he was the complete opposite and in manner[ i have given my self food for thought there] but in personality they could of come out of the same pod.n he had an ex he went on about.suprise suprise, and discribed her, and she sounded the best of the bunch. NO! when i saw a photo of her i thought oh what, they get these woman, skanks and so does everyone else. i sold my self short beign with this man, i truly did.he even used to go out with a prostitute, when he was younger, and used to sit out side the house waiting for her to finish with her clients. when i looked shocked, he said oh it didnt matter, i didnt like her, so i wasent bothered she was a prostitute . what was i doin in this sick friendship, i couldnt have been freinds with anyone lower. is that all i thought of myself at that time. evidently yes.
Aug 24 - 10PM (Reply to #9)
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

beautiful,glamorous,my ASS!!

Omg!! I always imagined these beautuful supernodel types too!!i caught him talking to this homewrecking bitch named andrea...i called her number from his phone,and this fricking babytalking voice answered..i was like,are u fuckng 5! I had to see her...she refused and went down to the police station and said I was harassing her! Never,never just wanted to know exactly wht she looked like....anyway I FINALLy found the whore on facebook w a fake male profile,and she was a soccermom type,completely out of style,feathered home dyed tore up hair,and shitty skin...anyway she found out it was me,police called me,he was soo nice,i said basically im a girl and had to c her,he said he and the other cops went on my facebook and couldnt believe nick the prick cheated on me...he said 'samm,youre a beautiful woman,be happy that idiot is out of your life',made me feel better,but I was pissed he was cheating w a babytalking soccernom!!lol. And yes the hookers were frm stockton ca,we're 60miles north........
Aug 24 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Used,

I have thought EXACTLY the same things about my experience with the N. I thought, really? (About his current wife) That's what he ended up going out on a limb for and not me? Dude, I thought you were supposed to trade up?! LOLOL! But they were all like that, the ones I saw anyways, after I went bye bye. I mean, Im not a supermodel or anything, but damn, I know what Im worth, and its much more than any of that lot! This is one of the few things that I will never be able to wrap my head around. They truly lose the best things that ever happen to them when they D&D us for the last time. Even a mutual guy fried of ours recently told me "I always thought he was a bit of a dipshit for losing you." Really I thought,that's an understatement!
Aug 24 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

This is something I have

This is something I have scratched my head about for years. Just being in the same line up with these women (and men apparently) WTF. I am really beginning to 'get it' now tho I think. Years ago when the entire secret life began to be unraveled, I told him I had no intention of being 'one of many'. But I'm beginning to really get the fact that that is exactly what I was. I may have been at the top of the list but the fact was there was a list and when I wasn't cooperating, #2, #3 or whoever would do just as well. Ain't that some sh*t there! Sorry, one of my favorite sayings I learned from him. I know what I am and I know what they are, and I do hope he is enjoying the difference every freaking day. almostlydia

almostlydia

Aug 24 - 5PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Losing the best things

Those who have studied psychopaths have observed that psychopaths are PROUD of how many people they've thrown under the bus. Narcissists are capable of having some regrets/repentance. The ex-Psych professor "started" our "relationship" saying, "I'm going to cut you loose. I've cut lots of people loose. I've let down lots of people;I'm going to let you down." Very conscious on his part. His attitude wasn't just applicable to romantic relationships, but business ones. One of his colleagues,with whom he had gone to graduate school, couldn't stand being around him&always had a sad/embarrassed look in his presence. He insulted colleagues in his footnotes. His fellow professors couldn't stand being around him. He didn't just throw me away... he threw lots of people away... and he thinks it makes him GREAT!