Feeling so insecure

There's no denying that I have low self esteem. One of many reasons why I think I ended up with exN and why I've found myself here. Since the last (and final) d&d its hit an all time low.

I can't get these thoughts out of my head as to why I think he didn't want me and why he's gone on to find new supply.

I've lost so much weight from stress the last 6 months or so, I've always been petite anyway so couldn't afford to lose it and its resulted in me getting really really skinny. I hate it. I don't look healthy and my boobs have completely disappeared. I feel like this is a reason why he went off me. He never actually said anything about my size directly but spent so much time commenting on women with big boobs and then started to tell me that I was getting too skinny. I took this as he din't find me attractive anymore. It's really left a scar, so much so that I've started to save to have a breast enlargement.

The other thing is that for a while now I've been suffering with bad hormonal acne, due to a change in my birth control pill. I've never suffered with bad acne before and again this has led me to believe that this is another reason.

Maybe he wasn't attracted to me anymore?

I'm sorry if this sounds like a ridiculous self pitying post but I don't know what to do with these feelings. He's left me feeling so bad about myself. It brings me to tears every day thinking these things and imagining him with someone prettier in his eyes.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to feel happier with myself enough to eventually meet anyone else. He's destroyed everything.