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Feeling mixed emotions toward the exN...

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#1 Feb 3 - 8AM
empty68
empty68's picture

Feeling mixed emotions toward the exN...

I woke up this morning feeling mixed emotions towards the N. Before it was just anger/resentment/bitterness/disgust...now I almost feel sorry for him because he has no idea, who/why/what he is and never will. Why do I all of a sudden feel guilty and as though *I* am the monster and shouldn't have abandoned him?

Someone knock some sense into me quick!!!

Feb 3 - 8AM
GettingOut
GettingOut's picture

empty68

hellooooo? knock, knock, knock. :-) Been there, done this. The N could make me feel guilty after HE had done something rotten. I think it's just conditioned kind of thinking you're having and just ignore it. There were a few times I've felt sorry for mine but it's been when he's playing his act. Like when he would claim he had no idea why I was divorcing him. He'd get this confounded look on his face. Then he'd get this very sad remorseful look. Right. All the times prior when I warned him he would yell, walk away, discount anything I said, blame it on me, etc. I mean, feel bad for the poor little N who slapped me around for years and damaged his kids. Poor him. Right. Remember some of the things he did. Know that they were purposely done. Stick with the digust. Mine repulses me.
Feb 3 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
empty68
empty68's picture

GettingOut

My exN was in absolute disbelief that I was able to dump him all of a sudden..."for no reason"....never mind the fact that he physically abused me two months prior hurling me into a horrible depression. He can't understand why *I* won't give him a second chance (because according to him, "everyone" deserves a second chances and he was considerate enough to stand by me and give me several chances despite my past mistakes/shortcomings because *he* has a "heart" and *I* dont)...I know I made mistakes/have my faults and he made sure to remind me and persecute me about them (as he thought necessary) making me feel unworthy and deserving of his ill-treatment towards me... Gosh, they really are masters of mind manipulation....such empty souls looking to destroy those of others....

```Live,Laugh,love```

Feb 3 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
GettingOut
GettingOut's picture

empty68

I gave mine dozens of second chances and stayed with him for 30 years. The last time I tried divorce 12 years ago he made all these promises if I would reconcile. So, I jotted them down on paper and, while sitting on the back deck, handed him the paper and said "I will reconcile if you continue to do these things." He had started counseling for his physical abuse, he had stopped drinking. He had to continue these and other things. He glanced at the note and tossed it on the table and said "yeah, whatever". Two months later it was back to the same thing and I could not understand what happened. To boot, when I confronted him about how he had stopped counseling and started drinking, he said "all you ever want to do is start a fight!! I'm not discussing this!!" Then, a little later he threw the big bomb at me. He said "know what I learned while we were going through this?" Me thinking he'd say something like how much he loved me or how awful he had behaved. um, no. He said, emphatically, "I've still GOT IT!!" meaning how hot he was and how he had a GF. The N is quite the master. Don't feel sorry for him no matter what he throws at you.
Feb 3 - 8AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

no no no no

its that GUILT he brainwashed you into... Fear Obligation Guilt = F.O.G. And its BULL you did NOTHING WRONG he's sick start reading MY BLOG - every single post. PLEASE. How can anyone feel sorry for a soul less non-human who hurts & manipulates people ON PURPOSE? ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 3 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
empty68
empty68's picture

Barbara

It's just hard to get my head around the fact that an individual can actually knowingly and intentionally hurt someone who they [claim] to love and want to spend the rest of their lives with, yet do/say things to drive that person away (an outcome that enrages & terrifies them at the same time)...and cry/throw fits when it happens and make it seem as though we are the heartless, wicked ones? Uggghhhhh!!!!

```Live,Laugh,love```

Feb 3 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

empty68

because they are NOT HUMAN & EVIL they can NOT love - they can NOT FEEL http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim/2009/08/13/a-narcissist-is-incapable-of-love WATCH Actions over Words with them - ALWAYS period ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website