Feeling that fear again

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#1 Nov 26 - 12PM
PhoebeR's picture

Feeling that fear again

So, I have gotten past the anger i feel towards the EX best friend, but still cant get past the underlying fear I have of running in to her. I am home visiting family for the holidays, and i think she is also in town visiting her dad. Both places are fairly close. So now i have this fear that I will run into her, then what? I am able to see her for what she is, and have no desire to rekindle any sort of friendship, and is bad enough that I have to deal with the fear of running into her where I live and work, she lives near me, and work in the same building since I helped to get her the job she has. Now here i am getting ready to go out and spend some time with my new boyfriend and all i can think of is...crap! i might run into her. What to do?

Jan 4 - 8AM
TooSoft's picture


Hi Phoebe, I understand that fear you talk about all too well. My devalue happened in May 2011, also by a narc friend. And I think I have been feeling that fear without acknowledging it to myself or confronting the fear I felt. We cannot run away from the fear we feel, we have to tackle it head on. And I think this fear can wear us down emotionally and it is not good for us. I live in the same city as my narc also and we also share a hobby. Sharing the hobby is really a bummer as I realise now that I had been feeling fearful going to my dance class and functions since the devalue happened because I was afraid of her. I think we are afraid as a result of the bullying we experienced. Narcs are quite the bullies aren't they? I have never felt bullied before in my life. Try not to focus on bumping into her, I know that's easier said that done and this is what I'm going to start doing from now on. Chances are you won't bump into her and if you do just keep walking. I realised this morning too that as long as we are still fearful of bumping into narc/seeing narc, etc. that the narc has control of our lives.
Dec 8 - 6PM
Hunter's picture

What to do? Keep

What to do? Keep walking!! Hunter