Feeling like a cliche...

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#1 Sep 21 - 11AM
maldon's picture

Feeling like a cliche...

My first posts here....I'll post my story in full soon, but I am truly grateful for finding the site and reading the stories and the book, its amazing how common this is. I thought my experience and feelings were unique, but clearly not...its pretty formulaic

But i get left with the following feelings which i can't seem to shake

1. What a cliche I am.....my ex was almost 20 years younger than me, beautiful, intelligent, well-educated, but had no real long term friends, said "she didn't like people" but found somebody special in me, I was the only one who could understand her. And instead of it being a red flag, I fell for it.....until brutally discarded and being left with our two year old son at the end of a three year marriage. Why are we men so pathetically predictable when faced with a beautiful woman????

2. What is my "diagnosis" of her as a narc is wrong? Even thought every step seems to fit, the initial chasing was done by me, she didn't spot me and snare me, I wanted and chased her and even "stole" her from another man she was engaged to. Although when she became mine, I did feel idolized for the spell until we were married.....does a narc always initiate? Does that mean she can't be and that I am just post rationalised being devalued and discarded and making it her fault and blaming a PD when in fact it might be my fault?

3. What is she can be helped? What if its not so extreme as a full blown PD and she could get treatment and be helped? Am I being selfish to go full NC when she might actually one day reach out and need help? Should I still be there for the girl I once loved and maybe try to steer her towards professional intervention and support?

I feel 99% certain she is a narc and the discard was of the most brutal kind (no affair as far as i know and I believe her quick discard was to allow new supply from another man because her conscience wouldn't alllw her to survive an affair, I think) and though I feel well on the way to recovery after 6 months (with some contact because of the baby), these are three topics I can't seem to resolve and close in my head. Any and all opinions and thoughts welcomed

Oct 26 - 10PM
Trixy's picture

Hi Maldon

Sep 22 - 11AM
Goldie's picture

Educating yourself is a great place to start

Oct 16 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
femnarc'd's picture

Simply genius!

Oct 17 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Goldie's picture

Yes exactly femnarced

Sep 23 - 3AM (Reply to #6)
maldon's picture

The ego

Sep 22 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Goldie, this is to the point

Sep 22 - 10AM
Brit's picture

I'll give you my opinions as

Sep 21 - 3PM
talktothehand's picture


Sep 21 - 12PM
thebigpayback's picture

sounds more like a sociopath,