feeling a bit low :-(

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#1 Jul 26 - 9AM
Mariline
Mariline's picture

feeling a bit low :-(

I feel a bit crappy today. As the last jerk left with my apartment's keys, I have just changed the locks, after having blocked the emails. In the last one he told me that I had a black soul, just for a start. Anyway, I changed the lock of my door. And a friend of mine said : oh, what an exaggerate you are! He had such lovely eyes, he did not look bad at all! Maybe he was a bit stingy, but after all it's not that much compared to others."

What?

My headache exploded immediately after.
He was so good that he did not bring to my child even a toy worth two dollars, he denied us even cheese, everything should have been done in HIS way....it is easy to be good like that!
Oh, I am fed up to explain. It's useless :-(((((

Jul 26 - 9PM
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

I often felt this way after

I often felt this way after being with certain friends. I no longer see them when I realized they made me feel worse than I already did. A good friend would have consoled you if a situation forced you to change your locks. This is a toxic person. You took a decisive and strong thing by changing your locks. You should have been proud of yourself for taking such a big step in protecting yourself. Go NC on the friend. Tell her to have at it if she thinks he's so harmless. She was undermining your instincts and was stupid to do so. Stay strong. I am working very hard at recognizing these 'insults' from so called friends and responding immediately. Friends who undermine and are not supportive are not worth having. Tomorrow is another day. Be proud of yourself.

almostlydia

Jul 26 - 4PM
starofthesea
starofthesea's picture

Sorry had to laugh..

..black soul indeed! Classic projection. Where do they come up with these lines - Narc College? If you ever had any doubt he was an N, doubt no more. I think he must have been looking deep into himself. I'm sorry you're feeling low - me too. Tomorrow is another day, and bravo on changing the locks. I never had the nerve to do that - just moved states :-) xx
Jul 26 - 3PM
better off
better off's picture

Hugs... I know how you feel

Hugs... I know how you feel too! Back in college, I had been stalked for several YEARS by a lunatic who got others to spy on me, broke in my apartment,attacked me, etc, had even tried to strangle me in a parking lot, and by the grace of God, some people walking by stopped him. The lovely "justice" system let him plead to "disturbing the peace." My friends and I were out one night, and we saw him following us, and I understandably freaked out and wanted to go straight home. My supposed BEST FRIEND said, "Oh, he isn't going to hurt you. You're overreacting." ??? I swear, as crazy as it sounds, she almost sounded jealous that I had this shit going on in my life, and gave me this attitude, like, hey, don't think you're so special. Yes, people are that stupid. So ignore your idiot friend.
Jul 26 - 3PM
narcdx3
narcdx3's picture

Know the feeling!

Girl my bestfriend for 20+ years befriended both the narcs in my life and I am now sure she too is a N. I feel your pain but don't ever turn your back on those people again. Sounds bad but never ever even for a minute trust them with anything. Talk on here or to a therapist. I have had so much turned against me that its ridiculous. I have to keep telling myself they are not human and eventually everyone around them will know. They build glass houses and eventually they will shatter. Have faith and hang in there.
Jul 26 - 1PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

A black soul, huh?

Can you say PROJECTION?? (((hugs for Mariline))) Suggest to your "Friend" she can have his lovely eyes and lovely face if she thinks so much of him. You don't change your locks for NOTHING. NOBODY does. Sheesh. Trust yourself, honey. You know what you are talking about. Obviously, she is clueless. Situations like this reveal who your true friends are. She is not a supportive person for you. She is not a good friend. If you had a boa constrictor around your neck, she'd tell you it wasn't squeezing you THAT hard. You do NOT have to explain. You do not need HER validation. You only need your own. You do not block an email or change locks on your doors for a pair of lovely eyes and stinginess. You change locks on your doors to keep out a bad man. Period. Hold up your head and know it. You are smart and capable. I had a few female acquaintances who kept asking me if I was going to take my exN "back". He was going to AA, he was going to church. ONe of the women had huge bruises on her upper arm from HER husband. It figures. I told them my exN could come down of the mountain with the ten ferking commandments and I would not take him back. I knew him and that was good enough. It's YOUR life. Surround yourself with supportive friends. It may be lonely for a while, but these kind of friends are toxic to you :( .
Jul 26 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

Briseis (((((hugs))))) you

Briseis (((((hugs))))) you are a treasure. Thank you so much. May God bless you. You are right. I have blocked the email. I don't answer the phone. I do not want to speak with him. I remember the feeling of oppression I had when he was near me. I am happy I changed the locks. Thank you again.
Jul 26 - 9AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

This is what they do best!

This is what they do best! Con the world with their deceit, lies and manipulative games. I can only say one word....EXPOSURE. Tear off their Mask..I have talked about this in other post. I am a firm believer in exposing these poseurs for all that they are. If you have anything of valid proof that would stand up and prove what a Narc looser this guy is then bring it forward to all that will listen. And the friend????? Well i would serious re consider this friendship and how you communicate with her. I had the same issue with friends that could not understand what i was going through nor had any concept of NPD. I am not telling you to end the friendship honey but you need to be careful with what you share with her. I had friends that i had to keep at a distance for the first 3 to 4 months b/c they would make comments and statements that were very hurtful. It was not intentional. They just had no concept of our situation. I could not make them understand b/c they simply did not want to know. I know you blue today. Those days will hit and hit hard. Just keep coming back to the board with your friends. We are here for your support......xoxoxoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 26 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

mariline

i actually had a friend of mine say he is well cute, i said to her only 2 weeks ago u asked me if he hits me, i then said to her i will pass on both your messages to him next time i see him,i then said on your bike and dont come back,
Jul 26 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

mariline

with friends like that who need,s enemies, go nc this ;friend.she is no friend at all,
Jul 26 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

I was doing so well. Why am

I was doing so well. Why am I so frail that a stupid word makes me so miserable? Why I am wrecked by guilt? Oh, how I wish that this crappy day is over!
Jul 26 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
ClusterF
ClusterF's picture

It's hard

We are just a few people here who "get it" about these things masquerading as people. One of the hardest things about our involvement with them is that other people who might really love us simply think it is US who are reacting badly instead of the narcs who are the evil spawn of all creation. That has caused me almost as much grief as what my predator psychopath was going to do to me. You just have to trust yourself, trust your judgment, remind yourself of anything you have ever done that you decided on your own and came out successfully. It's a long road but you are your own boss.