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Feeling bad for the ones he's trying to get!

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#1 Jun 11 - 9AM
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN's picture

Feeling bad for the ones he's trying to get!

Dumbbutt N still hasn't changed his password on his dating site. So, last night, just to kill time, I went on there to see what's going on. The sluts that he's talked to and they've sent him naked pics, I don't feel sorry for. He talked to them, got their pics and never sent them anymore messages. It's the ones that are just trying to find someone to date that I feel bad for. One girl that he's having contact with is breaking my heart. He's using the same lines on her and the contact and no contact and just screwing with her mind. I want to get in touch with her so bad and just tell her how he is and to run as fast as she can. Should I do it? He had met one yesterday and she sent him a message that he wasn't her type. He sent her a message back asking, "why did you not like or want me?" She said you are just not my type. She sounds like a smart girl. So he's got about 4 that he's telling them he's all serious about (and telling them he doesn't want to get hurt) and then he's got 3 on FB telling them the same thing. I know I shouldn't snoop, but it's actually entertaining. So, my question is should I try to get in touch with these women and if so how?

Jun 11 - 2PM
JRB123
JRB123's picture

I've just had an idea!

I'm glad you are over this vile man! It must be interesting to read and see the truth of his narcness. You can see his behaviour first hand and see exactly what he is like! However I think it would be good to let go of him as this is keeping some sort of contact with him. I reckon you should get a really good friend over to your house, log in to his account, then ask the friend to change the password and not tell you! Then both you and him wouldn't be able to access the accounts!! It's a sneaky devious thing to do but that is exactly what he is like! Then he won't be able to access those women for supply and they will be spared of him! Also you can then move on! Also the narc I had an online relationship with was on FB. I had deleted him as a friend but didn't block him! I saw him creeping all around another married woman (mutual friend) and everytime she wrote something he was there. This is the 2nd mutual friend he has done this with! I noticed today that she has deleted him as a friend too. So hopefully most women do see what these narcs are really like and take action! I just feel like I was the only stupid one blinded by a fantasy!
Jun 11 - 9AM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Should Have Known

Hey, I'm right there with you. I know it's heard to sit and watch these poor women get preyed upon; However, I believe you have to let nature take its course. If you did say something to them remember they do not know you (or him) for that matter so there is no bond with you that will allow them to know you speak the truth and that you are not just a scorned woman. You just can't interfere with their lives. Don't voluntarily involve yourself with this horrible being any more. Walk away with you head held high. You Are the better person. Hang in There, Ruby
Jun 11 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I agree

Narcs are so good at braiwashing, the new ones or the ones in the wings will buy the same old classic line..."She's a Psycho I have no idea what she's talking about"..."Oh, she's jealous"...whatever...and the SAME way their bullshit rubbed off on us...the new women are "under his spell" Someone said it before, we can't be the fairy narcmothers...the beauty is, it will be the last time some jackrabbit can come along, spin a tale of woe and victimhood and pull at our heartstrings. One can have but so many failed relationships where it's all "HER" fault, and but so many abandoned children, and but so many lost jobs due to "misunderstandings" and "setups" before you start to scratch your head. If they don't know now, they'll have to learn the hard way...how did we learn the ropes. I know it sounds cruel and coldhearted but you're fighting a losing battle, and you won't win this one. The Lancaster chickie still held on to hope for a few more weeks, I still remember her "distraught" FB siren song: I loved you to the end and you've hurt me, now I don't want to see you"....all this over a freaking month of virtual conversation. The new one jumped in one month or less of knowing him or at least "dating him" then again they may have been 13 stepping together or meeting up when I'd let him go to the clubs...whatever - some women are just desperate and you know what...it happens. Stay away, you have nothing to gain...NARCS LIE and have TWO words in their vocabulary: She's Bi-Polar or She's Psycho...both of them ADMISSIONS of their true selves...except the bi-polar part...they're just CRAZY... Hugs!
Jun 11 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Desperate Women - Foolish Choices

"The new one jumped in one month or less of knowing him or at least "dating him" then again they may have been 13 stepping together or meeting up when I'd let him go to the clubs...whatever - some women are just desperate and you know what...it happens." That rang the bell for me. My narc's new OW was ready for him to move in shortly after he announced he had met the love of his life - after 3 weeks of intense attention from them. 3 weeks? Now I think he was grooming her to replace me that last month we were together. He said no. but narcs lie. We took years and months to know each other. Ultimately, that didn't help me of course, crap happens. I did try to play slow and casual. I can't imagine jumping into playing house 3 weeks after meeting a man. They met on match.com..but he said they met at a coffee shop and realized they had much in common. Set-up! It amazes and shocks me how easy it is for predators to play desperate women - Damn! They need to think it through before letting your emotions get the best of you. Desperate Women - Foolish Choices (sounds like a good book title doesn't it?)
Jun 11 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN's picture

Thanks Ruby. I know I need

Thanks Ruby. I know I need to stop looking, but I just can't right now. It doesn't bother me to read the stuff because I am so over it. I realize I was used and I did learn a very valuable lesson. When I decide to date again, the first time I see a red flag, there will be a talk about it and if it doesn't set well with me, I'll be moving on. I know I'm the better person, but I guess it gives me joy when people do turn him down. I will eventually stop.
Jun 11 - 9AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

Vomit LOL... Mine I am sure

Vomit LOL... Mine I am sure is doing something very similar he was on online dating whilst we were together. I think the best thing to do although entertaining is stay out of it. Stop snooping. I have stopped, I don't look anymore because I really don't want to know. I just imagine the worst possible things he is up to and think I am probably right. It is tempting and entertaining to snoop but it doesn't allow you to move out of their lives...you still have two fingers in the pie. Realise he is a jerk off, these girls will realise too on their own accord. Let him continue with his sad pathetic life and feel sorry for him that he requires validation from complete strangers. If he was a real man he would get up off his lazy ass, put on a clean shirt, go out and meet someone instead of hiding behind a computer screen. He sounds like my ex....a total lazy pig.
Jun 11 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN's picture

Puzzle, I know I should stop,

Puzzle, I know I should stop, but right now I can't. The idiot should just change his password. He's not given me a thought, so I guess that's why I want to keep looking. Who knows. I say I'm over him, but maybe not. I told my therapist what I was doing and she said you will eventually get tired of reading the posts and then you will stop. I guess I am not to that point yet. Appreciate the comments and advice though. I love all the different outlooks from people on this site.
Jun 11 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Used
Used's picture

SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

the one who said no saw him for what he was pretty much straight away...the one's who havent? don't want to hear it anyway...when ow came and told me they had been in a r/s all the times me and him had been friends...i told her in no uncertain terms who he was and showed her his texts to me....she still stayed with him..i dropped him..there is none so blind as those who don't want to seexx dating sites if the guys are so wonderful what are they doing on them why havent they already been snapped up, and the women? that is not your problem any more.