Feeling bad

Today has been a really low day.

I have so much support around me reassuring me that it's not about me but it seems that no matter how hard I try I still feel like I must have caused him to leave by something I did or through something about me or something that I couldn't be.

He left me for an older woman, he told me he should find an older woman but wanted sex with me that night, said he'd still be there for me and help me out, then he met her and I've not seen him again, only have heard from him through text messages.

I really tried to be strong and not tell him how much I miss him and how much it hurts. We hadn't spoken for a while and then I just had to talk to him. All I said was hi and he teased me. Then nothing. Again I just had to tell him that I miss him and asked him for a favour that he'd previously said he would help out with and this was after he ended things. But to that he ignored me. He didn't even bother saying no.

I've left it at what I asked and don't have much else to say to him but it hurts so bad that he just ignored me. It makes me think I must be in the wrong to talk to him, that he'd think badly of me for trying. Like I'm a threat now he has someone else. I don't know if he thinks I just deserve silence or if he's trying to just avoid answering one way or the other to the favour.

Sometimes I don't even know anymore if he's being rude or any of it, that he just didn't want to be with me enough and then met her and he now can't have anything to do with me because I'm in the past. But then why would he ask me those questions while with her and then ignore?

I'm so confused over what to feel. It is so painful that he doesn't want me in his life anymore and that he's got someone else. I know he could be really mean but he could also be lovely and I still feel insecure that he just didn't like me enough to treat me well but with her it's different.

Why did he just ignore me?