family/friends dont understand!!!

You are most welcome ! As it so happens, I am actually a lawyer and it was thru the very kind and unselfish support of another female lawyer that I learnt the necessity of an independent third party acting on my behalf with my ex. It's ironic that you should use the phrase "black hole", as I have written here previously that I always felt as if I was screaming down a rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland. No-one in my ex's family wanted to hear what I had to say, none of them wanted to accept that there was something radically wrong with him. I had only been living with him less than 3 months when his mother and sister invited me to coffee. That was the first time I felt as if the family ( who I have always referred to as "The Corporation") seemed to accept me as the new girlfriend. Anyways, I came out and mentioned His depression, his "black dog days" ... Well, the response from his mother said it all - she got all twitchy and looked about nervously and said " Well, why hasn't somebody done something about it ?" - total and utter denial added to her own sense of guilt. The family know full well that He has a history or womanising, has never had a full time job and has been financially kept by his parents - he is nearly 41 ! I might add, His mother has an AOM (Australian Honourary title) and is married to a multi millionaire and esteemed member of the community - a narcissist himself ! I learnt from the family's reactions to my comments that if I was to stay around - then shut up and put up ! I was essentially delegated the task of looking after every aspect of his life - domestic and financial. When I finally broke and He actually went to a GP and got referred to a pyschiatrist early in 2011 - his parents came over to see me. To my face they admitted that He up till the point He went to the psychiatrist ( and amazingly He actually told his parents this) that they had been told by Him that I was the problem ! On this occasion I came out for the first time and told them that He drank everyday, smoked pot every other day and wet the bed at least once a month. I must add that this conversation was between me and His father, His mother (as per usual) sat their nervously looking at the ground and not saying a word ! Heaven forbid that anyone should say anything like this about her son ! His father then mentioned that He had been hideous to His mother when he was younger - I looked at her and asked her why did she not do anything about it - she looked at me in panic and told me she was terrified of him. Here I should mention that He is 6'4'' and his Mother is no more than 5' tall ! Be that as it may, His father then went onto to say the weirdest thing to me ( now remember that I've been delegated the role of looking after all his finances and taxes etc and we're engaged) and His Dad says "You may not know this, but we set Brad up in his business and we've paid out his maxed credit card at least 7 times the past 10 years". Now, hang on, if I've been with the guy for 3 years, shouldn't I know this sort of stuff. I found the fact that they thought I might not know about it very telling ...as if they KNOW that He scrambles his past and recreates His history so as to create the image and or reflection of his false and idealised self ! I could go on and on with tales of woe and insight ... but each and every time I recount the past and put it all together - it actually makes me feel stronger - that the person I thought I loved and who loved me - simply does not really exist ! I wish you well ! Sandra

If you can go to court on your dad behalf and testify for your dad and let the judge know he beat you , your dad will have a better outcome. But YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP!!! You should be more loyal for the one who tried to protect you than the one who beat you! Time to OPEN YOUR MOUTH! Talk to your dad attorney if he has one ok?