fake religiousity

My ex was Muslim. When first began to date I asked him if he had any reason to believe that his religon would cause us any conflict. He told me he grew up in the States and that while there were certain things he believed in like: 1. No drinking 2. No sex before marriage 3. Fasting during Ramadan ......there would be no problems as he accepted me as non muslim.And was far from traditional. I observed. Within 2 weeks we slept together. He said that he loved me so much he just had to. Flash forward. He drinks. He believes that he is the "man" and therefore should not be questioned. He can change his relgion to suite what he believes at that moment. It was sickening. During our four years together I supported his religion and agreed to disagree on some items we could not see eye to eye on. I did extensive reasearch into Islam and kept an open heart and open mind. I read the Quaran. Flashforward....other than being allowed to have his cake and eat it too there is not much of his religion he is true to. He twisted his own relgion to make me believe certain things and then retwisted it when I became wiser. I am so angry that I bought it. Just talking about it makes me shudder. I am canadian.. I am very proud to be one because we are known mostly for peace keeping. He was so proud whenever he had a chance he would always make a point to say see "this is why no one F&%K's with Arabs". Man...How did I stay so long? I even tried to learn Arabic, I have a knack for languages, he told me I couldnt even pronounce his name right!!! I have other friends who are arab and they told me I did very well. I gave up after a few months. It only made him laugh at me and critize me more.

went to church every Sunday.. Said the Rosary at church with the elderly ladies.. The same one, that if his mouth is moving,he is lying. The one that sleeps with married women.. The one that...... you know all the evil that they do.. BUT he will NOT miss church on Sunday....

And there are some who use religion as a weapon to club you over the head with. If there's one type of N that pisses me off the most--It's the phony guru types who preach about peace and love, and how you should conduct yourself, when there's an audience to impress (and adore them)......... .......then treat people like crap when there's no witnesses present. Especially the ones who are in an elevated position in their church or organization---I guess I expect them to hold themselves to a higher standard of conduct, if they're going to get up on a stage , and presume to preach at everyone. To me, that seems like an even greater breach of trust, and a shameful abuse of power.

The ex-Psych professor modeled himself on Prince Andrei from "War and Peace",who constantly insults his wife Lisa's religious devotion (it eventually leads to her death in childbirth) and Leo Tolstoy himself, who rails against religion in his "Confession." I can understand people who have gripes with organized religion. People abuse religion just as they abuse money, power, and other people. The ex-P expected me to sacrifice my faith in order to marry him. But I still went to Sunday Mass, weekly Bible studies, my senior essay was on a religious subject. The ex-P didn't want me to be a journalist;he discouraged me from writing about religion. He writes about religion and "quietism" himself. I remember once calling him out on it... saying if you can write about religion, what's stopping me? I'm not the same woman he D&D'd 10 years ago. A decade ago I was a new college graduate, full of potential (like him)... but I've been published on religious subjects the past 7 years. The ex-P wore fake religiosity on his sleeve. He claimed to be "Christian" and "spiritual, but not religious"-yet he mocked religion and spirituality viciously. A person can be critical of religion without being a nihilistic jerk. Oh, well... the ex-P was a nihilistic jerk.... During the D&D, one of my friends asked, "Do you still believe in God?" She was afraid I'd lose my faith as a result. On the contrary, during the D&D, I got MORE religious. I'd go cry in the chapel, place flowers there. I told my friend I believed in God... but not the ex-P.

I don't think it's uncommon at all for a Narc to use religiosity to scam the world. I almost don't even need to point out the public spectacles MANY high profile so-called religious figures have made for themselves. Religiosity is kind of the "perfect" smoke screen to camouflage a pathological person. I met my exN during one of his Mr Christian phases. He was Pentecostal. He spoke in tongues and would faint on the floor and just lay there with this blissful look on his face. He accidentally took out two papers instead of one from a newspaper stand and went bonkers to return that extra paper (while making a HUGE deal out of how important honesty is, and of course, what an amazingly honest person HE is). He would just start praying out loud and it would make all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was powerful, indeed. But it wasn't God's real power. Nope, not at all. When we got "married" (and briefly before when his true self showed), Mr Christian vaporized. He bought a bag of weed, cursed and raged and shamed. He continued to get donation coffee from this whole sale coffee bean place in San Diego and bring it home instead of to the church which was where it was supposed to go. He admitted he skimmed a few narcotic pain pills from a prescription picked up for a discharging patient at work. And of course, blamed ME for dragging him down, my children for being teenage barbarians and dragging him down, how could he even hear the Voice of God in this disgusting, fucked up family? I've had the pleasure of meeting and knowing REAL Christians, and have great respect for their religion, and all the other truly sincere followers of other religions. I even encountered a Muslim who made me weep at how devout he was. I had some giant meat turkeys that I'd bought for my menagerie, but they get so huge they can barely walk, so I put an ad on Craigslist for someone to buy them. I do not eat my critters, ever, but these poor things were in pain from being so genetically overbred for meat. So he butchered them according to his faith. He made NO big deal out of it. It was a simple prayer, very gentle (if you can call it that) and then I turned my back. I know it was not painful to the animal. I wept because I had to allow my poor turkeys to go the way they did . . . but mostly I wept for his gentleness and reverence. The Narc has not destroyed my willingness, or ability, to see the Divine, or feel it when it is present.

Religion can be a huge smokescreen for many. I have gone to church regularly for years and have met some of the most amazing people there, yet also some of the sickest f---- you can imagine. Most all the narcs I have known have had some kind of a twisted concept of God and use it as an additional manipulation tool of others. I have heard: you are so spiritual and close to God, I know that you will be able to forgive me. Ya right buddy, don't be fooled by my "spiritual exterior," lol. My son's dad use to say while on the phone: OMG, I can't believe it, I just opened up to the exact same passage as you did, it must be "God's will" that we read this passage, ya right! Think Catholic Priest and how they hid behind the robes to get their needs met and then it begins to make sense how the Narcs use religion to get their needs met. Religion is simply another conman tool for the Narc. So pitiful, yet so true. God bless, Goldie

I don't know if it was "fake" but he was constantly reading the bible. I think he was searching for answers. I mean, he knew something was wrong with him! He'd switch religion. He chose to change to my religion and then got mad at me that he did it in the last couple of years.