Facebook madness

I don't mean any disrespect to you as I highly empathise with you, BUT, you have got to "kill" that facebook account pronto. How will you ever get past this Narc mess? How old are these two?...12, 13? Yuk, never seen such non-sense from adults, it all sounds so PHONEY, because it is, at least on his part. Don't continue living in the shadow of this disordered alien, it is doing you no good. No need to worry/wonder why he does this with anyone, he is a DISORDER, that is what they do, trust, it won't last long, it will come crashing down, and when it does, go back to fb and relish that moment, best wishes.

It's not healthy for you to be looking at this stuff. I know it would rip my insides out if I was on my Narcs site and saw this stuff. You're hurting yourself. I feel bad for you. If it makes you feel any better...I threw up in my mouth reading the crap. Don't believe everything you read.

You need to block him, and her, and you need to ask close friends to block them as well.(Trust me, I know I had to do the SAME thing) We all have weak times but we must cut out the crap and the excuses! Reading these posts only hurts you and keeps you tied to the N. It keeps you in turmoil and pain. It is TOXIC to you to engage in this way. Only you can cut this off, you must realize this does NOT facilitate your healing. all the best

Lostlove, how old is this guy, twelve? It's a bunch of BS. I don't think any mature person that is truly in love would feel the need to write all that crap on FB. LL, I know it hurts, but it's all ridiculous BS meant for their audience and not for each other. xo V

Now I didn't even get to five lines of that bull and can see the shyt in those fb posts. That is nothing more than a performance piece to make anyone jealous and that means you and the other ladies he has been trying to seduce. I find that on FB it usually is more than one on their pages they're involved with. all that mess was a bunch of acting and fabrication.

Have your best friend change your password, then deactivate your facebook so you're locked out for good. seriously, will be the best thing you've ever done...

Every couple of weeks, my N changed his relationship status from engaged to single for ALL the world to see. He cant understand how humiliated I am by this...now he has removed his FB profile because "he embarresses himself and his family" by changing it so often....WHAT ABOUT ME??? WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN HE WAS GOING TO MARRY? THE LOVE OF HIS SORRY LIFE? Ofcourse, my feelings dont come into it, so WTF!!! I have deleted FB, wont go there. Safer this way. Delete FB, gf, stop torturing yourself with this mind game he is playing...he knows you are checking his profile, so stop playing into this monsters hands. You wont even miss FB after a while, because it isnt REAL, although, comments made can hurt like hell!!! Hugs

My ex N got disapproving comments from his immediate family and children when he posted the pic of him with his sleazy new hooters lady looking GF. And...he seemed fine with their remarks and the attention. I think he is tripping so hard on his image (regaining public image after sitting on his butt for 15 years) that he did not care if he offended his family or ex GF of 10 years (me!).... The desire for image exceeds all rational thought for others.....

God, is there a Narc handbook somewhere? I know people have joked about that, but it almost seems like there has to be. This is sooooooo much like what mine did to me. At the end of January, mine D & D'd me by posting pictures of him and his new GF, who was an old GF of 25 years ago, on his FB page. They were pictures of the two of them at a party where they were touching, hugging and even kissing. Smiling from ear-to-ear as if he was the happiest he's ever been in his whole life. Comments on the pictures from friends and family were similar. "You two look so happy together!" "You're absolutely glowing!" "She's THE ONE!" Now, to show you how much he wanted to hurt me, he had already de-friended me on the Friday before the party on Saturday after an argument where I caught him lying to me again. Sunday he posted the pictures along with a status that said, "I can't believe it's been over 25 years since we were last together, it seems like no time at all has passed. You're still the sweet girl that I remember. I'm still smiling." Since he de-friended me and I couldn't see this, I only know about it because he told me the excruciating details on the phone! He described their kiss as "soft and sensual." And he slept with her and had sex with her that night. Every day it only got worse with him practically making his FB page a shrine to her. He changed his relationship status in less than a week and posted a profile picture of the two of them from the party all cozy and holding hands. Status updates that were so sappy sweet I wanted to throw up. Posting love hearts they were sending to each other from one of the heart applications. Publicly thanking her for his Valentine gifts. "Thank you so much for the Drakkar, Sweatheart. I remember you giving me my very first bottle and I always wore it over the years and thought of you." "My dream is for us to be together forever. I want her to know I'm not going anywhere. We were together in the past and didn't want to say goodbye, but had to because of circumstances." (He went back to his wife and child.) I especially loved when he posted a picture of the two of them out to dinner wearing one of the shirts I had given him for Christmas. Oh, and I could see this now because he opened up his page to Friends of Friends, which he has NEVER done before, and was sure to call me up and let me know. He's always been very private about his FB page and he did this so I could see the progression of his relationship. He knew I wouldn't be able to resist looking at it. It wasn't enough for him to cruelly dump me the way he did, he had to rub his new relationship in my face. Only a sadist would do that. A normal person who had fallen in love with someone else would have shown their previous partner some respect and compassion and would feel bad for hurting them. They wouldn't be flaunting the new person and their feelings in front of them. He was intentionally hurting me more and more. I finally had to block him and her completely because I would resist looking at their pages for a couple of days and then curiosity would get the best of me. This was just a masochistic exercise in self-flagellation that I had to quit doing. True, I could always unblock him, so it's not full-proof, but when you unblock someone, you can't re-block for 48 hours. And during that time, he would potentially have the opportunity to block me if he became aware of it. I can't let him have that power. Besides saving my own sanity, it ruins his fun if I'm no longer an audience to this crap he's posting. I would be curious to know if he's still so over the top in what he's posting now that my friends and I have blocked him, but I'll never know. I advise you to block them also. He is playing it up and doing it for your benefit and for the supply he's getting from the approving relatives and friends that have never seen him so "happy" before. That is painful to see, I know. There is nothing quite so devastating thinking that they were miserable with you at the end, which is how mine looks in our last pictures, and now they look blissfully happy with the OW. Mine is getting the same "applause" from his limited circle of friends & family and is also completely involved in her life and her circle of friends, because he had none of his own. He has taken on her activities and interests like the Chameleon they all are. He's going to church with her on Sunday, taken up bicycling, 5K runs, going to ball games that she pays for (she's very athletic even though she's over-weight). I swear, they sound like the same guy. They ALL sound like the same guy in so many ways. I take solace in knowing that it's all an act on his part and she will eventually suffer the same fate I did. Not that I wish that for her, but knowing that it's him and not me, and she is not any more special than me, and that deep down he will never be happy. He is inflated with supply right now, but I've already seen him feeling DEflated with her which I will post about later. Even though he's trying to re-make himself for her because he really wants it to work, he will screw it up, because he is his own worst enemy and ours too. I've already seen him trying to contain his "old ways" and he thinks things will be different, but he will ultimately do to her what he does to every woman. She is NOT special, and unfortunately, neither are we.

FB IS EVIL!!!!!! That's all I wanted to add. :P

Or is she an account he made up to make you jealous? Also, please learn from my ten thousand post, TAKE HIM OFF YOUR FRIEND LIST. All he is going to do is make you feel worse by posting to others and ignoring you.

Lostlove458, Please DON'T feel bad. I SO understand your pain! I too was royally screwed over by a good for nothing N. I'm glad you posted about FB and I will say, it is SO unhealthy to look at their page. Like others have commented, it doesn't help you heal...it does the EXACT OPPOSITE! Others have said this to you, but I'm going to remind you to remember the following: -they are NOT capable of loving ANYONE but themselves -if you are friends with him on FB, he's probably aware that you are reading his updates/posts...again, total show. (remember* someone told you that FB is the perfect stage for N's...this person is SO right!) -he will screw and leave this OW when he becomes bored and see's no further use for her...they ALWAYS do! -YOU ARE SOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM! Please remember these things. The other people who have commented on your post are SO right. I understand it's difficult...because I too am going through same thing. I am doing my best to not look at my exN's FB page. I have already blocked all his updates so that he does not appear on my daily feed and i'm working towards deleting him altogether. Trust me, it only makes you feel worse when you see his good for nothing a$$ become friends with more people. It makes you stop and think, "How the f*ck would anyone want to befriend this a$$ on FB?!" The truth is, those people don't know him well enough to know that he's fake as f*ck! You move on with your life and do your best to not look at his page. I remind myself everyday, it won't do me any good. I hope this helps. I send you good vibes and lots of hugs. When you are tempted to look, come to this site instead. (((lots of hugs and support to you from me))) TovaBella

Ok First Stop looking! 2nd Its BULLSHIT, Why is it on the public wall. PLEASE. WHY? so you see it. You are torching yourself. My Narc told me 5 times a day how much he loved me. He would call say "HELLO THERE" and I'd answer "Hi My Love" Look where it got me now. What do think you are gaining by look at FB? More Pain. Please understand how sick these men are. Do you really think he is going to love this bimbo more. NO! Cut the cancer out and move forward. Hunter

have you read the article " the other woman...now he's happy with her??" If not, I would recommend reading it. It helped me, anyways:) As far as his declaration of "love" on facebook.....well...it's all BS anyways. Narcs can't love! You don't want to be a "trophy girl". You are better than that! I don't want to sound mean.....but you REALLY need to get him off of your FB....block him so you can't be tempted to read what he is up to. It's not conducive to your healing. This is NOT about YOU. He is disordered.

Can I just say... he doesn't sound too bright. And all the !!!s are overkill. What is he trying to prove and to whom? I'm suspicious of anyone who is overzealous in showing their love for their S.O. on Facebook. It's fine in small doses, but the way I see FB is this: it's the N's perfect tool. It's like playing show and tell with an audience of friends, coworkers, acquaintances, business associates, former flames, crushes, frememies. He has total control over what his "audience" sees. Facebook has unfortunately replaced real, live interaction for a lot of people so the N can easily use this to showcase how great or amazing their life supposedly is. Take everything you see on there with a grain of salt. Like I said, a little affection through FB is fine, but when it gets to THIS point like you illustrated above, it loses credibility.