Facebook

21 posts / 0 new

#1 Jun 4 - 8AM

Future56

Facebook

Hi everyone! I need some opinions.

What does it say about a man who in the past has never spent much time on Facebook and always thought it was no good. But now, he is on it constantly, with no activity on his own page. (That I can see anyway)

I have all but totally blocked him and am in NC. Everytime I go on there is his face. Just don't get it.

Thanks!

#2 Jun 7 - 12PM

candy

facebook is a great big fishing net !!

i too found my ex boyfriend on facebook and ended up having an affair .... he has lots and lots of so called (just friend .. girl friends !!) on facebook ... yeah what ever! they prob all been through d&d, silent treatments, and lies just like all of us here !!! ... he must love that site,its a playground for narcs without a doubt .. candy xx

#3 Jun 7 - 3AM

Arwen

Facebook is the scourge of

Facebook is the scourge of the earth. N's use it as their playground. They troll for women on it day and night, use it as a perfect method for triangulation, and for self-promotion to any woman they can find. This happened to me on FB with most recent N that landed me here and I can tell you FB is the Devil's greatest gift to a an N/P.

#4 Jun 7 - 12PM (Reply to #19)

JRB123

Yep!

Agree so much with this! My recent N experience was all on FB. He's on there all the time trolling, triangulating, flirting with every female possible. And of course self promotion to make him look like the perfect guy with all his charity stuff. His most recent profile photo has him being flimed by a TV camera! Makes me feel sick as well as laugh at the nerve of it. What a show off! Luckily I now see through it but feel for the other women who don't and are about to be narced.

#5 Jun 5 - 10PM

ifinallygotit

FB

My ex N is currently back in town briefly, called me and wants to see me after 11 months. I checked his FB for the first time since I blocked him in Jan. Apparently, he realized I had seen the photos of him with a woman because all his photos are blocked now for friends only... I am glad he figured this out, but now he can't lie to me and pretend he has no new GF. Maybe he thinks I forgot? He was all..."I missed you the whole time..." I hate FB, he loves it and promotes his image there... I blocked him again but just took a peek today to see if he still has the ho looking lady there...

#6 Jun 5 - 12PM

LostandFound

The Devil Incarnate

I absolutely despise FB when it comes to my exN. This is where he collected his exes or anyone he met on his various dating sites or where he would announce degrading and disgusting things about me to his friends. He trolled for supply and had cybersex with strange females. He would have sexual "banter" with low class females who didn't care that his profile said he was in a relationship. There were times he would deactivate his profile and clean it out more so that I wouldn't see things he had done then because he was giving up the supply hunting. He would then get back on and put photos up of just himself - HUNDREDS of himself from years ago when he was fit - never photos of us and he would start the crap all over again. His sister is no better - she has a fake page - also with pics from years and years ago when she modeled - chatting with and having online affairs with men where her husband can't see. She calls it her PLAY page I call it disgusting. Her marriage is a farce and looking back she is almost no different then her brother. Please note that you can not only simply block and delete profiles but you can block and delete email addresses. So for instance if your exN has created multiple profiles with not only his main address but another email address you might know about you can input those email addresses and block them as well. This will stop them from contacting you from profiles using those addresses and possibly attempt to reconnect anonymously. Just FYI. Also setting all your privacy settings to FRIENDS ONLY will keep anyone from contacting you that you don't already trust.

#7 Jun 6 - 4AM (Reply to #12)

adoette

lostandfound

Oh, thank you for that information about blocking email addresses. Making a new page is my exN's favorite and only trick. I'll go look for that. I have it set so that only friends can message me and search for me, but he got through last week. I'm wondering how. I'm nervous about him saying things about me on FB. But I took a leap of faith and deleted/blocked him last Monday, cause, well, for many reasons (that's another story). What kind of things would he say about you on FB? I console myself by thinking no one would post bad things about someone else on FB. (We're in our 40s for Pete's sake!) But your comment has me feeling a little nervous. I'm off to block his many email addresses. I might be back if I can't figure it out. :-) Thanks! Great advice. I DO NOT want him to be able to get to me.

#8 Jun 6 - 4AM (Reply to #13)

adoette

lostandfound

Okay. I just blocked his 4 addresses. Thanks so much. I'm going to post that information. I hope you don't mind. I'll give you credit. (((hugs and gratitude)))

#9 Jun 6 - 11AM (Reply to #14)

LostandFound

You are welcome!!!

My ex posted things like I was a money hungry, controlling bitch and I was gone so now he could be the man he was meant to be on his status for his profile but when we got back together he would never say anything on his profile or change his relationship status. He actually posted that I had hacked into his email and facebook page so everyone better watch out because now I had access to all their email addresses and I would send them viruses because I was jealous of all he female friends. The truth was that he clicked on one of those emails that had a link that was a virus and as it was probably from a female and he is such an egotist he clicked on the link. Then the link sent itself to all his addresses in his account address book. He's so ignorant he thought I did it to him because I know more about computers then he does. What a jerk. He would pretend to be out with females and having wild sex when I know he hasn't been able to get it up in almost a year. Stuff that was bullshit to make himself look like a sex god and a victim of a crazy ex. The reality is that only 3 people were both our friends and they sided with me so whoever he told this crap to didn't matter to me and still doesn't. Good luck to them.

#10 Jun 6 - 12PM (Reply to #15)

adoette

wow

That is some crazy shit there. I'm hoping my N doesn't want to expose me, cause it would totally expose him as well. Thanks for sharing. That must've been hard, but it sounds like his postings didn't destroy you.

#11 Jun 6 - 3PM (Reply to #16)

LostandFound

Crazy shit...

isn't the half of it... what it comes down to is that I know enough about him and his sister that I could cause him to lose his job and I could destroy his sister's marriage so let's just say he needs to shut up and even tho he is far from the brightest bulb he has enough marbles to recognise when to back down. This is going to sound a bit narcissistic in itself but the quality of people he kept around him were low class and uneducated who actually thought he was the end all be all. None of their opinions mattered to me then or now. The majority of females he was in contact with were females that would service him no matter what their relationship status was and make me feel dirty knowing I am the same gender they are. The people that mattered no longer associate with him and quickly made sure to separate themselves from anything he had anything to do with. I may be living in England and I may be far from Brooklyn but you can't take the Brooklyn out of the girl!!! ;-)

#12 Jun 5 - 11AM

Future56

Almost Ready to Un-Friend

Thanks for all of your comments. You are all correct. I need to un-friend him. My profile is not public. When he goes to my page, he sees basically what my interests are. Period. Nothing more. I don't check on his families pages because they do not bother with me as he has labeled me the crazy unstable wife who drove him to seek comfort in another woman. Life with me has been so horrible for 33 years! So my finger is on the button......

#13 Jun 6 - 7AM (Reply to #10)

Deidre40

when you think

when you think about it...shouldn't only FRIENDS be on your friend list? ;) he is NOT a friend. FB is evil!!

#14 Jun 5 - 11AM (Reply to #9)

adoette

you go, girl

Deep breath...and.......DELETE. BLOCK. I'm telling you, you will feel LIB-ER-ATED! (You might cry first, cause it's another nail in the coffin. But after that, you will feel lighter and brighter.) Hats off to you. It's hard. (((hugs)))

#15 Jun 4 - 10AM

Goldie

It says that he is down on supply or a big fat LIAR

And is using facebook as a means of gaining new supply and stalking old supply. Going on facebook and watching him is not complete NC, it is only partial NC. What does I have all but totally blocked him mean? Does this mean you have partially blocked him? Are thinking of blocking him? You will never get your answers from facebook. There are countless ways to hide what you are doing on facebook. Phony profiles, partially blocked material, private chats. Don't kid yourself, these guys are the pro's at manipulating facebook and using it to their advantage. You will NEVER know the full extent of what they are doing on there. They lie lie lie and just because he says he hates facebook does not for one second mean that he has not had a phony or blocked profile on there the entire time. You don't know, you cannot believe or trust what he says. BOTTOM LINE: Stop torturing yourself and block his profile and block yours from public view because he may have another profile in order to stalk you to gain valuable information in which to manipulate YOU in the future. Be smarter than him. This is the only way to stop the insanity. Going on facebook every day or 100 times a day, which is what I used to do, is NOT NC and you will not begin to reap the benefits of recovery if you continue to check up on his daily activities on facebook. I know this is not an easy step to take and it takes courage to let go, I am encouraging you to put yourself first and go complete NC. God bless, Goldie

#16 Jun 6 - 5AM (Reply to #7)

michele115 (not verified)

What Goldie Said...

Yup...that's it to the T...

#17 Jun 4 - 10AM

Hunter

It's called he's fucking with

It's called he's fucking with you. I have the same problem. Delete,delete,delete Hunter

#18 Jun 5 - 1PM (Reply to #5)

trying2heal

Mine also said he hated facebook when we were together....

Yet he lives on it. I check to see when he is online, on AOL.... I can't stop...I try!! but somehow knowing that he is always online and makes me feel better..that he is a loser..but then I feel like a loser for watching him.. I am trying to get on with my life and resumed my activites that I like...but I still check. His wall is private on FB but he changes his pictures... I want help on how to stop.. when I look on FB I have to check one of his friends to see what he posts and when I see I feel like crap because he is not how he acts on FB...morally upstanding and wonderful... FACEBOOK sucks, it is a great NARC's playground!

#19 Jun 4 - 9AM

Future56

Facebook

Need to add three things. Very long term marriage. He did the d & d & left me. Has much much younger OW who he lives with so he has his supply. Thanks!

#20 Jun 4 - 9AM

wacaet

block him then you don't have

block him then you don't have to deal with it as tempting as it is to "spy" and see what he's up to, it's just not worth the mental anguish and it will delay your recovery

#21 Jun 4 - 9AM

adoette

Future56

Hi, F56. I don't know your story, but all I can say is this: Don't give a rip why he is on there all the time now. (He's totally looking for supply like a red-eyed vampire who is crazy with thirst.) Delete and block. Delete and block. Delete and block. I did that last Monday and it seriously felt like I lost 210 pounds. If you're committed to NC, just do it. (Is there a reason you haven't de-friended and/or blocked him? I kept my N on FB because I was worried he was going to do something stupid and expose/humiliate me publicly. But he was terrorizing me, so I finally decided it was better to X his a** and take my chances.) All that said, I do know the whole analyzing and wondering piece...why is he...what is he....I get that. Be strong and do what you must to unhook thyself from this "person".

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