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#1 Oct 7 - 5AM
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

Facebook....

Okay, It is Day 45 NC for me and I haven't unblocked him on FB. Narc was never a big FB status poster or anything, I think it is more of a way to stalk and gain supply without even trying. Lazy Ass. We had about 20 mutual friends from growing up together and one of them let me know yesterday that he deleted 5 of mutual friends, 3 of them grew up on the same street as us. He had no reason to do this, not that he communicates with them, but still it's weird. This baffles me but here are my thoughts....At Day 45, he is realizing that I really am done and am not coming back...I know the true him and he fears me outing him. Is he discarding items from our time together, like you would throw away pictures or letters that remind you of a break up???? Is he trying to erase that time? Ha! I'd like to see him try to erase me! He has to drop his daughter off everyday at the same high school we went to 25 years ago and he keeps his boat at an old friend's house on our old street growing up. He is constantly surrounded by me and I live 300 miles away! Ha!!
Satisfaction!!!

Was just wondering your thoughts on the friend's deletion. I don't feel sad or vervous that he is moving on, I feel satisfied!! He has severe anxiety and I know that he never expected to last this long with NC and not unblocking him on FB. Eeeewwww, that's vindicating!!! Feels great!!

Have a great day!
Sherry

Oct 7 - 1PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I couldn't figure him out in

I couldn't figure him out in any useful way when I was with him . . . and he never failed to baffle me when I tried to fathom his actions after I got rid of him. I can't deny that I deeply hoped he was twisting on a spike. I still have those fantasies. I'm just glad that my life has gotten more full of other things. Wondering about his motivations is sort of like wondering what goes through a cockroaches brain equivalent when it finds a crumb on the floor. Not very interesting.
Oct 7 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

LMAO Briseis

Holy Crap Girl, you crack me up!! I know exactly what you are saying! I'm sure my curiousity has spiked and I will be passed it tomorrow. Trying to figure him out is soooo pointless and stupid. I will never figure him out!
Oct 7 - 9AM
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

Just so weird....

Can't figure out why he would start deleting our mutual friends....other than erasing that time, out of fear that I am outing him to these mutual people, or that it was only part of hooking me and creating the illusion of him wanting to be friends with them and now that I am gone, he doesn't need them anymore to help create that illusion, so he can toss them away now as well......SO FREAKING WEIRD!! So glad I am 45 days out!!!
Oct 7 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

He's just trying to get at

He's just trying to get at u. He is hoping to gain your attention and get a reaction from
Oct 7 - 7AM
ewa
ewa's picture

He is not trying to "Erase

He is not trying to "Erase you", I do not think they ever do it. He is rather trying to put your attention on himself. That is how i see it. Do not think about it as this is probably what he wants you to do.
Oct 7 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

What do you mean???

Put my attention on himself??
Oct 7 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
ewa
ewa's picture

My English is not so great.

My English is not so great. I meant he wanted you to think of him. So he removed some of your common friends. You started to think why he did it, and he succeeded. It is just assumption, but believe me actions of this people are not easy to explain. And usually their goal is different that we think. One is for sure they do not want to forget about us.
Oct 7 - 6AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Yes thats the thing about nc

Yes thats the thing about nc , it dosnt have affect on them straight away , it is the satisfaction of the "slow dawning" that you anint ever comming back . Mine expected me to come back , he was bragging in the pub when i first went nc he said "i recon scoop will try and get back with me " ... ha ... well sucker i didnt did i , in fact you tryed to hover me 3 times , put that in youre pipe and smoke it looser . I have to say that revenge wasnt my main reason for going nc and i make fun of the revenge part but the main reason i had to go nc was for my own mental health , i knew i was close to breaking down and it was a very scary time , i went nc for my own protection from his incidious abuse , he also got violent so i had to go nc for my psycial well being too . I can say hand on heart i wouldnt have been nearly 8 month nc if it wasnt for this wonderful board and you wonderful women .45 days nc , so well done for you ! soon you will be counting in months not days and it feels so good to do that . Keep going and big love to you xx
Oct 7 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
terri
terri's picture

FB - not necessarily a good thing

I was actually the one to remove mutual friends from FB when I broke up with my exN. It had become just one more way that he was starting to use to manipulate me and frankly, I didn't want him to have any contact at all with my friends after the breakup. He was too skilled at presenting "a wonderful guy" to everyone and of course, "outing" him to my friends only made me look like the disordered one. I think that putting up those all-important boundaries during a breakup or full-out NC is crucial and I had finally started to create healthy boundaries. Therefore - FB had to go as well. I also think that Facebook is the perfect way for them to find new sources (and old sources) of supply and I didn't want to be privy to any of that behavior anymore. I see the benefits of Facebook for staying in touch but I also see the potential pitfalls and dangers of it as well. There were way too many games being played there and you may be much better off that he has severed those ties himself. Just sayin!

Believe in yourself!
Terri