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Eraser Killers

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#1 Jan 23 - 3PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Eraser Killers

A few people have mentioned the Drew Peterson story to me today and I felt a strong desire to post.

While many of us experience triggers, and slip back, often wanting, needing or desiring the disordered in their lives, I think it is important to bring this subject to the forefront.

This is not intended to frighten, disturb or upset anyone, yet I beleive it has to be said and we need to be reminded. These are disordered people that we are dealing with. Psychopaths, not in a serial killer way in all cases, not deranged in many either. But the bigger picture is being missed. These are disordered people who if pushed far enough, you never know what they are capable of. These psychopaths are termed "Eraser Killers". The women who are married or in a relationship with this type of man, were not as fortunate as we are. They loved their psychopath, they tried and tried and tried. They disappeared, happens every day, they didn't mistakenly dissappear, they were erased by the disordered because they became bored with them, or they found them to be a nuisance, in the way. These are NOT normal people, in any way, shape or form. Scott Peterson for instance, Drew Peterson, the psychopath that is responsible for many triggers the last couple days......there are many out there, these are just a couple that have made the head lines and have become household names.

Please consider yourselves very fortunate that you were spared the brutality that these murdered women were not. Eraser Killers, something to consider.........

Again, this is not to upset anyone. It is to help with awareness. The wives of the two Peterson men that I mentioned, did not live to escape these emotionally abusive men who found no need for them any more. Nor did hundreds of others.

Consider this a blessing in disguise. Again, all of our narcs are not killers, maybe none of them are........are we willing to take the same chances and/or risks that these poor women did? A disordered man, a psychopath, is not someone to reckon with nor is he someone you want to be in a relationship with. For so many reasons.

Stay strong..........we are the lucky ones.

Jan 24 - 2PM
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

Been there

My first narc experience was when I was 19, I married the narc, he was 28. He married me and moved me 6 states away from my family. It was then he became very controlling and started beating me. He tried to kill me three times, I thought it was only two. (he told later, it was 3 times, and he was sorry, that I was his soulmate.) I don't know how I survived all of this. He tried to choke me to death, one time and I passed out, I had marks that encicled my whole neck. The other time I woke up and he had a large knife on my throat and said he was going to kill me. He kept saying I want to kill you. This continued for about two days, he would make small cuts on my body, I was so brainwash. Later, he would cry how he didn't mean it, how he loved me, you know the cycle. I stayed afraid and didn't know where to go for help. My family was angry because I left with him. Three years later, I had left him after 2 years, he appears at my workplace, wanting to see me again. He has reappear 3 times in a 13 year period. I have moved several times. I've heard he has never married again and he is a police officer now. I worry when I see abuse women, I know how close I got to getting killed myself. I did go to counseling for years after this, but I did date this last narc for two years, no physical abuse, but in court dockets, I found out he does have a domestic abuse charge against him. Plus the last time I saw him, he tried to hit me. Back to counseling for me.
Jan 24 - 2PM
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

Been there

My first narc experience was when I was 19, I married the narc, he was 28. He married me and moved me 6 states away from my family. It was then he became very controlling and started beating me. He tried to kill me three times, I thought it was only two. (he told later, it was 3 times, and he was sorry, that I was his soulmate.) I don't know how I survived all of this. He tried to choke me to death, one time and I passed out, I had marks that encicled my whole neck. The other time I woke up and he had a large knife on my throat and said he was going to kill me. He kept saying I want to kill you. This continued for about two days, he would make small cuts on my body, I was so brainwash. Later, he would cry how he didn't mean it, how he loved me, you know the cycle. I stayed afraid and didn't know where to go for help. My family was angry because I left with him. Three years later, I had left him after 2 years, he appears at my workplace, wanting to see me again. He has reappear 3 times in a 13 year period. I have moved several times. I've heard he has never married again and he is a police officer now. I worry when I see abuse women, I know how close I got to getting killed myself. I did go to counseling for years after this, but I did date this last narc for two years, no physical abuse, but in court dockets, I found out he does have a domestic abuse charge against him. Plus the last time I saw him, he tried to hit me. Back to counseling for me.
Jan 24 - 7AM
abreva
abreva's picture

You make a very good point.

After I left, many of my friends were very concerned that I would be murdered. Two of my closest friends felt their lives were in danger by association with me. I have learned to live with the idea that I may still die by his hand, or the hired hand of someone else. It's just a reality. This reality makes dealing with any N extremely unappealing. The EXNH-psychopath started talking about my death about six months before I left. It was subtle, and he could always kind of explain his way out of it - justify and rationalize. He's a Doctor, after all, so he looks good on paper. Clean cut. Affluent. Educated. The first time he talked about it - it creeped me out so badly - that I "came out" to a group of women who I knew pretty well. He made his "threats" to me over the phone while I was on my way to a dinner with my friends, and when I arrived I was shaken so much, that I spilled the beans to them. This was the first time that I really got straight with people about the relationship I had with the husband (I don't like saying "MY" husband). The look of shock and horror on their faces told me everything I needed to know. His continued and escalating threats (always veiled) eventually ran me out of the house. I escaped and never went back - though he pleaded for me to return to the marriage - and made it financially difficult for me to stay away. I often feared for my life during the year and a half since I left. Other people feared for my life too. At this point, I do not feel like I am in imminent danger. He has a new target who he is wooing - into marriage I suspect. I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel lucky to be out. Focusing on gratitude is a good way to heal. I got suckered by an evil person. I got trapped. I got out. Messing with an N is very expensive on EVERY front, and getting away is the ONLY thing to do - but it is also a dangerous thing to do. Good luck everybody.
Jan 24 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

This is my point exactly.

This is my point exactly. And I am so sorry that you both had to deal with such dangerous men. And I am sure there are many more on the forum that have. People in general should take this serious, but they don't. My friend Liz, went missing in Sept 1990, they found her body in a garbage bag in an empty lot of the Philadelphia Airport a couple months later. Everyone knows her boyfriend killed her, but there was not enough evidence to convict him. And if you met him, you would never think in a million years, that he was capable of such a thing. It was only later when the abuse was discovered and she got away from him, that we all realized how much of a Jeckyll/Hyde he really was. She went back to him however. Beautiful, lovely, spirited Liz. Not a bad bone in your sweet body. Always smiled, no matter what the day brought her. Her life taken from her and her body disposed of like a bag of trash. None of us thought it would come to this, but it did. I am not being paranoid or over-cautious, I am being realistic. Liz didn't deserve to die, nor did any of the women who have at the hand of their abusive partner. This is an unfortunate reality in todays society and we should heed the warnings. Take care and be safe.
Jan 24 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
abreva
abreva's picture

Yes Sparrow

Yes. Your point is an excellent point and needs to be heard by the people here who haven't "been there" yet. The point needs to be taken seriously, because things escalate. When you don't succumb to the control the N is exerting, that's when things get dangerous - at least that's when things got dangerous for me. An Ivy League educated nice-looking polite man is NOT someone who anyone would suspect. He wears a mask. The mask protects him. Over the years his truths would slip out. I heard about the women in his past who would lock themselves in closets screaming and crying because of him. He would make it about THEIR flaws. Before I was involved with him I believed that people were independent of each other - that no one could bring me down no matter how intimately we were involved. It was that "personal responsibility" thing - the idea that we are responsible for our own feelings etc etc. NO MORE. I believe that we are connected. Somebody can make you feel like crap, hopeless, frightened, worried, anxious. You can't control that. But you can control what you DO. What you DO is GET AWAY. What you DO is NO CONTACT. I have learned No Contact here and it is brilliant. I didn't get it before. It is the simplest thing. He can act like a maniac. He may have sent 2000 words worth of punishment via email and it is waiting for me to deal with. He can do all this, and I can do nothing. DOing NOthing is what I DO. If there is a list of women in my town who are likely to end up dead, I was on it for a long time. I might still be on it, but I feel like things are rather peaceful now. No fireworks. So, I'm on the 2nd tier of the list. The crazy violent fear that an N can wield makes dealing with men like that VERY UNAPPEALING. That's one of the gifts of this lesson for me - I have ZERO tolerance for bull-sh*t. I don't think I'll put up with any garbage from any man, or woman. And that won't mean I'm bitter or lonely. No. That will mean that I am free, and sturdy. One of my goals throughout this ordeal has been to emerge with a tender heart, still able to be touched. So far, so good.
Jan 23 - 6PM
Redhead
Redhead's picture

Sparrow

you are so right. I felt sick during the movie when his wife told her neighbor "I'm as good as dead" (or something like it). She knew.
Jan 23 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
Redhead
Redhead's picture

violent

I've never known mine to be violent, but I never thought he would do the things he's done either.
Jan 23 - 6PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

Indenial this is not supposed

Indenial this is not supposed to be a place where people judge you. I am proud of you for revealing that terrible secret here in the forum. These monsters plant a hook in us with a secret. And we carry the shame of it. You have broken the spell, you know the right thing to do. Be gentle with yourself and forgive yourself, love can make us betray our hearts. Theres a whole new life for you after this man. The lesson is dont keep secrets for someone else again. I will never keep secrets for someone again. Ive leaned. Thats their burden and they must carry it. If someone tells me to keep a secret thats bad now. I say dont tell me because Ill tell everyone. Thats how I am. Thats a turn off for an abuser.
Jan 23 - 4PM
indenial
indenial's picture

So true.

Mine has killed before. The first time I met him I said to my friend I don't like him hanging around us. I think he will kill again. I then went on to be seduced and later abused by him for 3 years and was convinced by him that he was wrongly committed for the manslaughter charge and i felt so sorry for him I ignored all my principals and intuition because I was conned. And I honestly thought it could never happen to me. I saw through him from the start. Just goes to show that maybe you should always go with your first impressions
Jan 23 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Maggster
Maggster's picture

Trust yourself and stick with that first impression!!!

You are telling us your narc was convicted of manslaughter? If this is the case you need to stay away from him forever. We have had very similar postings but I have said that I have never feared for my safety. Please Indenial, stay away from him forever and get yourself in therapy. I think you posted you had financial limitations but there are numerous mental health clinics that have sliding scales. Your posting scared the hell out of me. It is one thing to have low self esteem but another to put your life in jeopardy. Please!!!