entertain me...

But now what I realize is he learned to use it on people not to heal himself. He found a whole lot of suckers in the groups and what I realize now if any one in any of them called him on something he left the group. Of course because they were assholes or didnt know something ect

I think that anyone is capable of change, but as Hunter says...they don't see themselves as a problem. That is ultimately the disorder. The world around them is for their taking, and also their problem. They live in a strange world...a world they truly believe is one in which they need to get over on. They are in competition with everyone...male, female...anyone...and lovers are no different. That said...I don't care if my ex N can or will change. I think that analyzing these creatures is unhealthy, to be honest. I understand the need to do so. I was once there. But, at the end of the day...I matter now. Not him. Not his nonsense, and disorder, and what he wants and doesn't want, and why he said this or that, or does this or that. I pray he gets help. But, when we stop analyzing, is when we are free. (but I get the need to do so on the journey, just don't get stuck here...he's not worth it)

There are "theories" that support the fact that narcs can get the help needed, and with extensive therapy, they can improve, note, I said improve.......they can NOT change however. The small percentage that do seek help, do not succeed because it takes a looooong time, and requires a deep devotion and effort......something they do not have and will not invest their time in doing. Besides, a large percentag will not admit they need help. They are a lost cause.

How much did you pay for hat book? Ask for a refund... I / we have read 100's of books the all say" RUN" What you need to understand is the mind of a narc .. In their sick twisted world everyone else is the problem.. They are perfect.. Since they are perfect they don't need help .. If they do go to a therapist.. Since the are maters of manipulation .. They lie.. The therapist can not make a proper diagnosis.. Most therapist won't even begin to treat these freaks.. In fact their brains scan differently than a normal human. Studies are still reaching nature vs nuture.. Read something useful like studies by "Hare" Also self help books and of course Lisa's Hunter

.....and it is a selfish, mean, violent abuser. No, these "people" do NOT change. They never change. Does an elephant all of a sudden become a giraffe if you are extra "nice" to it? Does a rose morph into a Lotus if you water it differently? No. These are what they are. Same with these PDI. love~ Layla

I think the short answer is "no". It is important to avoid "Malignant Optimism" There is an article by S. Vaknin called "The Malignant Optimism of the Abused" An excerpt. ""malignant optimism". People refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every fluctuation" ""If only he tried hard enough", "If he only really wanted to heal", "If only we found the right therapy", "If only his defences were down", "There MUST be something good and worthy under the hideous facade", " There is no "true self" . It was shattered a very long time ago. Hermes