Empathy for others

A neighbour of mine's partner (of 15 years) was taken to hospital on Monday. I went along later that night so she was not on her own. He died there while we were with her at his bedside. Not an easy thing to witness. I have helped her with the logistics of registering the death, shopping, etc. and other stuff. I know she has three grown sons from previous marriages and has not told them because they did not get on with her partner.

Ex partner was very controlling and so she gave up contact with her own sons, one of whom lives close by. When I asked her why her kids weren't there to give moral support and help out etc. she said 'I'll tell them after the funeral, they are busy with their own lives' I was happy to help utnil that point - so she has been NC/LC with her kids - she is not asking her own sons for help yet is content to rely on a neighbour the do the donkey work? I can feel a 'fuck you' moment coming on but not sure how to communicate this to her. Any thoughts?