Emotional fluctuation

I am 2 months NC and 4 months after the break up.
Some days I get a little bit of clarity and I can see that I am fortunate to have escaped the sick Narc I was living with.
Other days I am mourning and grieving him and the pain is almost unbearable. I go back and forth like this and I hope it starts to yield soon...
The truth is resonating in my mind, he was not real and everything he did was a lie. I am starting to understand and my heart is slowly catching up with this information. There are night I wake up crying my eyes out. There are days every curse word I know is mumbled under my breath. There are other days I want so badly to email his ex wife and get her side of the story...There are other days that I am so emotionally drained that its difficult to peel myself from the couch....
I'm starting to go out a little with friends, but I find very few things enjoyable except Law & Order reruns which I can recite line for line.....
I feel quite pathetic at times....But I know this will pass eventually Anybody else feel this way?
xo
P.