email from exn!

18 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 20 - 2PM

positivefuture

email from exn!

i've been no contact for 2 weeks. this is the longest either of us (my exn & me) have gone. the last time i visited him he was so mean!! i broke up with him when i got home. we've been broken up for about 3 months now but had contact until 2 weeks ago. he's been calling, texting, emailing and i won't respond. then i get this email....the list of comments he's talking about i sent 2 months ago and we're comments he made like.... the first time we had sex he didn't want to, but i wanted him to do me so he did me, or how it would be awful if someone broke into my house and killed my dog (who is my baby), or that men only look at me because they are trying to figure out if i am a transvestite. or that my eyes are pretty but my nose is not so great. you know...the list could go on.

Dear PF,

I wish you nothing but the best and only wish you the most happiness in the world.

My personality is what it is. I am a very outgoing funny person. I am sarcastic.

I was playing with you. we were being playful and I was being funny.Obviously I hurt your feeling again.That was never my intention.

I am an idiot and looser. I am so connected to you and love your kisses.

About the list of comments that you say hurt your feelings THEY WERE JOKES!!

You have broken my heart once again. I treat you like a lady, I tell you how sweet and amazing and beautiful you are, I spend all my free time with you. I try and make you a priority. Still not enough because I seem to hurt your feelings. I wont be your punching bag.

I just want you to be happy and enjoy life.

I think you are amazing, So sweet, tender,loving and JUST PLAIN GREAT.

I just cant make you happy. I am so sorry I hurt you. I know this is just your self sabotage kicking in to keep you from feeling. I felt so many amazing things. I thought this could have been something so special. I am sorry I could not make you feel more special or move this along as fast as you want.

Love
n

#2 Jul 21 - 7PM

NancyM

Feelings

yup total contradictions all over the place. Did you notice that he only ever mentions your feeling but not his own? He says you broke his heart but never once mentions how that feels. Simply does not have any, yet he consistently tries to spin your feelings. My Narcdar is going off big time. Betty2020 is narcdar on the Abb list, can't remember who came up with it.

Nevergoback

#3 Jul 22 - 9AM (Reply to #17)

Lisa E. Scott

NancyM

Good point! We should add "Narcdar" to our list of abbreviations! Not sure who came up with it either, but if anyone remembers or if the person who coined it speaks up, we will of course give you full TM credit. :)

#4 Jul 20 - 3PM

Lisa E. Scott

Positivefuture

Thanks for sharing. I think it helps tremendously to share their messages with one another because we can see they are all the same. They contradict themselves and shift blame and manipulate. His e-mail to you is horrible and I agree with everyone, delete immediately. You do not need this man in your life. Did I read correctly that you've been on and off with him for 27 years and he has the nerve to say he didn't move fast enough for you?!

#5 Jul 20 - 3PM (Reply to #14)

positivefuture

yep!

27 years! granted for 3 years we were in high school and i had no interest in him romantically. so really....24 years...oh...now i see his point on moving fast LOL. i never knew there was such a thing as this disorder, so i'd been on a string, his puppet, for a LONG time. never could understand why i couldn't move forward. or why i hated him but didn't want to live without him. why i loved him more than i loved myself, but despised him, too. i hid how he treated me until this year. then finding this board...a light went off :) xoxo

#6 Jul 20 - 4PM (Reply to #15)

Lisa E. Scott

positivefuture

Wow, well I am soooooo glad you found this board so you now understand that it has NOTHING to do with you. It's all about him! Wow, 24 years. I'm so glad you're now free. Enjoy your freedom, sistah! :) You deserve it!

#7 Jul 20 - 2PM

ewa

You broken his heart..he

You broken his heart..he wanted to make you happy - what kind of blah blah blah it is?! Why can not he simply admit what he did wrong. No he is not going admit, he is going to blame you for this that you make him feel like a punching bag. It is surely all about him!

#8 Jul 20 - 2PM

positivefuture

I SHARED BECAUSE

it is very healing to read how they all communicate the same way. makes you know, yet again, that you know what they are. i have been with him on and off for 27 years, and i swear he dug this up from 20 years ago! i remember a lot of these same words. he always used to write down everything i'd say when we'd talk on the phone and text so he could use it against me later, or try to gaslight me by saying i said things i didn't - when i'd say i didn't say this or that, he'd say, well you did because i wrote it down for some reason when we were talking tonight. CREEP!!! i am not responding. next, i await his mean email. that's his cycle.

#9 Jul 20 - 2PM

chickie3040

Really?

I think I can look through my deleted email and find one from my ex-N that reads almost EXACTLY the same. The more I read and validate what he is, the sicker I start to feel. Hang in there...stay NC!!! Don't give in to the temptation to respond, it will get you nowhere.

#10 Jul 20 - 2PM

NinjaGirl

Creepy

God, that sounds like something my father would write to me, and I do NOT like my father very much. Delete the email, block any future emails, and please don't respond. I got seriously bad vibes reading this. It went something along the lines of blaming you/making you feel like the problem was with you, and then reeling you back in to make you feel guilty, and then making you feel like crap again. Just delete. That's one of my new trademarked sayings, unless someone else has dibs on it. This guy is a major creep.

#11 Jul 20 - 2PM (Reply to #8)

positivefuture

guilt and me...

my hook is that i can't stand if he feels badly. he knows if i think i've hurt him, i will cave because i HATE when people have hurt feelings. so thanks for pointing that out, because it helps me stay strong. i wish i wouldn't care if he hurt...especially after all he hurts me. it's so weird!! xoxo pf

#12 Jul 20 - 3PM (Reply to #9)

Used

guilt

you cant have hurt him ,how is it possible to hurt somone who has no feelings i said this once, oh ive hurt him, the person with me said, you cant hutr him HE,S SPIRITUALLY DEAD, i felt so sick when i relized its true, ignore him ,i am having trouble with ex at the moment, i feel nothing for what he is saying i done to him,who cares

#13 Jul 20 - 2PM

enoughalready

positive future

Appropriate name cause your future will be way better off without him. Wow- his email was full of contradictions. it's your fault your feelings were hurt cause he was "joking"? wow.. joking at your expense? What a POW!!! He is correct to say he's a loser and idiot but he only said that cause it's the right thing to say not that he means it. And seriously, he wishes you happiness? And that's why he treated you so wrong? Narcs are clones- they say the same things and so predictable. All his words are lies and blaming you for his mishaps? Your future will be positive as long as you stay NC!

#14 Jul 20 - 2PM (Reply to #2)

Happy1

I agree with these ladies.

I agree with these ladies. His email is sickening and I hope you delete it and stay NC. It's for your own sanity to stay NC. He's a piece of work. Jerk!

#15 Jul 20 - 3PM (Reply to #3)

alma25

Sometmes I really can't believe

I read it and I thought: is she me, is her exN my exN? It's so, so, so similar. Except in my case it was on and off for 10 years. It was but it won't be no more.The email I received one day was just like yours. I deleted it. You should do the same. Such a great person like you shouldn't waste even one second for a guy like him.

#16 Jul 20 - 5PM (Reply to #6)

positivefuture

ALMA25

is he 44 and lives in southern california? lol

#17 Jul 20 - 5PM (Reply to #4)

positivefuture

HOW ALIKE THEY ARE

i can't even tell you how many times i have read something on this board and thought, is/was she with my exn? they are ALL so alike! is there a N manual somewhere that they pick up at barnes and noble? it's truly creepy!

#18 Jul 21 - 1AM (Reply to #5)

almostlydia

I'm just wondering when the

I'm just wondering when the hell we get over trying not to hurt other people's feelings while they walk all over ours.

almostlydia

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