Down and Out

I am really struggling with my financial situation and this divorce. N has moved back down south, said he was moving to a 2 bedroom 2 bath on 5 acres of land. Took all the furniture that was in the apt and that is okay but I sit here with no job, no real focus and I just don't know where to start. Going on 52 so it's not like anyone was rushing to hire me when I was looking. Drew unemployment, but it is about to end and I want to just go on disability due to my fibromyalgia and depression but don't even know how to make THAT happen.
I am sooooo angry that it seems he went back down there where his EX-wife and children (ages 18 and 20..but he "HAD TO BE NEAR HIS CHILDREN" are and they all get to think it was ME that was the problem but it wasn't ME. I feel so "taken".. 4 years ago, I was a happy person and now my life just SUCKS...every time I start a project towards working from home I get sidetracked. I tried therapy once but the shrink kept defending that F---r and I couldn't deal with it. Now there is no insurance to pay for going to therapy. I just felt like venting my frustration, my son is about to graduate from HS and it seems like he is disliking me more and more these days. My dad is in his late 80's and he is getting weaker and weaker as the days go by and I feel trapped. Guess I am not alone and it could be worse...how i don't know...but I am sure it could be. I am trying to keep the NC going, to maintain my sanity. I want to call him and scream though...I won't...but I sure want to tell him how much I hate him for ruining a good woman.