Don't be fooled, the NARC'S are setting up their "Winter Nests."

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Sea
Sea's picture
Goldie, it doesnt snow where
Goldie, it doesnt snow where i am and hardly too cold. Narc is active all year round plenty supplies! I reckon 1 narc will destroy at least a hundred woman in his life time and hurt a couple more hundreds along the way.
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture
It sickens me to even think
It sickens me to even think about my narc to try and realize a pattern on him. I have to say his bridge has been burned. I will buy a snuggie to stay warm and go work in a soup kitchen for the holidays. Read something the other day, cant remember if it was on here or not. You are the only person that is always with you, so be good to you! I hope you all love yourself enough to burn that narcs bridge!
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture
OHHH , thanks!
I never knew why the silent treatment only came in the summer. I thought it was because his kids were visiting him!!! I can be dense...
Journey
Journey's picture
It's not a matter of being
It's not a matter of being dense, mine had plenty of excuses too which were very plausible for why he would withdraw from our relationship during the summer. It was a feeling I had early on with him because his behavior changed so much depending on the weather and the seasons, spring was always the worst devaluing and with summer would come the distance. I can't even think of one fun summer thing we did that felt good to me regarding our relationship. He was always the coldest when it was hottest outside and my worst memories with him happened on some very beautiful sunny days.

Journey on...

tresor2
tresor2's picture
Summer/Winter
This article is applicable to many but, not all. In my case, N had the money to travel to warmer places during the cold season; Africa, Europe, China and that's what he did. He had no intention of settling down with one person in the winter but, of course, kept his supply dangling for when he decided to give up a few crumbs. Last year, he asked someone to move in; after he lost a ton of money due to the bad economy. Said he needed help with business and maybe was feeling needy due to monetary losses. I wouldn't give him the $300,000 he asked for, LOL. Maybe he's in love now; the narc version. The latter part of the year has been a major trigger for me because I'm sentimental. I'm determined to stay strong this year and not fall into the same trap. Many of the recent relapses were triggered by "us" breaking NC, not N and maybe they were driven by the nesting urge. Either way, it's a recipe for disaster. I'm to the point that I don't give a sh*t as to what they want. Winter may get more lonely but, clubs do a thriving business during the end of the year. There's a ton of action out there and ample supply for the Narc population. Thanks Scoop
Journey
Journey's picture
Tresor2
Can't you see how exactly applicible this is to your exN? He had the resources to leave in the winter to go somewhere warm which was enough for him, he didn't need to nest because he didn't have to. Those without the resources MUST nest or risk short supply. Once his resources took a beating and his circumstances changed your exN DID nest - that's likely the ONLY reason. Next time you think there is anything 'real' about him living with his supply now, keep that in mind. Love IS NOT why he's doing it!

Journey on...

tresor2
tresor2's picture
Now that you point it out , Journey,
yes I can. He nested because of his monetary situation, not the weather; I believe it happened in summer, about the time his money issues hit the roof. I know he needed someone to help with his business since his bookkeeper was fired. Either way, he's gone for good and I need to get it together. Thanks Journey
juliamarie
juliamarie's picture
Agh....I'm was about to be a victim
This was so timely. My Narc wanted me to spend New Year's with him. I didn't commit. I really didn't think about it in the way that you presented, but I think I'm just NS until things get better for him. So brutal to know that I'm just a game to him. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.
Susan32
Susan32's picture
Always winter but never Christmas
While many NPD sites note that D&Ds happen in the spring/summertime, the mating season... my final D&D was in autumn/fall. The ex-Psych prof D&D'd me from September-November, and his girlfriend moved in with him in December (but she got to be a June bride, so he followed a cliche) His favorite character, Prince Andrei in "War and Peace",marries the much younger Princess Lisa in the wintertime. His idol, Leo Tolstoy, wed Sofia in September... and did his final D&D of her in the November of 1910. So, like the Ice Queen of Narnia, with the ex-P it was "always winter, but never Christmas." When I lost my job at the Narc workplace, it was before the annual Christmas party in early December. At my Narc workplace, the holidays were always the WORST time of year. A former tradition (discontinued by the time I was hired) was that the managers who ran it (a married couple) would give a Christmas card to their employees, regaling them with all their holiday vacations, going to ski resorts, etc, when the employees are barely paid above minimum wage.
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture
Anna Karenina has always been
Anna Karenina has always been one of my all-time favorite novels. Reading your posts about the ex-Psych Prof and Tolstoy really bums me out! I don't know if I can ever enjoy his novels again, lol.
Susan32
Susan32's picture
Tolstoy as therapy...
It took time and PLENTY of NC to really appreciate them as great studies on NPD... since Tolstoy was a major Narc. Alexei Karenin is a classic cerebral Narc... and the way he treats Anna, like a child, wow. I wrote an essay about how Alexei Karenin and Constantine Levin's relationships with their wives are more father/daughter than husband/wife.... and I was penning this essay during the final D&D. Writing helped me heal. Subconsciously, I was unearthing the problems between the ex-Psych prof and I... and might have inadvertently ruined "Anna Karenina" FOR HIM. He was paranoid that I'd read "War and Peace".... too bad that on a recent vacation I unearthed my 15 year old, mostly untouched copy of it. Sorta surreal. Time, distance, NC made "War and Peace" enlightening (especially on NPD) rather than traumatizing.
indenial
indenial's picture
confusing
Cos mine didn't seem to care whether it was winter or summer and he ruined christmas because he couldn't enjoy it and discarded me a few days before just to then ruin any christmas I might have had without him and he spent christmas day driving round stalking me ! Neither of us even had a christmas dinner ! Seasons don't seem to affect him. He's in a permanent winter. Don't get me doubting he's a narc again :(
Journey
Journey's picture
Indenial!
Stop being in denial! Lol Seriously, narcs will ruin all the holidays and be a general pain in our hearts all throughout the year - no need to doubt that! Yours likely also suffers from depression or other anxieties - but that does not make him less a narc!

Journey on...

Used
Used's picture
Don't get me doubting he's a
Don't get me doubting he's a narc again :( WHY, he is a grade A ARSEHOLE....what diffrence would it make with a label....he ruins everything he touches, every holiday,christmas, and b/c the seasons dont seem to affect him, he might not be a narc.....omg,whats the diffrence...he is alowlife scumbag.....thats the unofficial name for them...
Layla
Layla's picture
Never doubt for a second yours is an N!
Mine ruined EVERY Christmas too! 8 of them! All the way through New Years was HELL! And my abuser was diagnosed N/AsPD- Never doubt your disordered one is disordered! I agreed completely with Goldie because my abuser husband consistantly treated me like CRAP spring into the summer EVERY year and pulled some of his biggest bullshit in the summer....God how I hate that man! Thank the good Lord- this Christmas is going to be so SPECTACULAR for me and my boys and my family N FREE!!! I am soooooooo looking forward to the holidays for once! : )) love~ Layla
darling.girl
darling.girl's picture
November
Wow, this hits the nail on the head. November is when my narc sought me out for the very first time. During the two years that I spent trying to reel him back to me, summers were the most impossible time. He was "living a life," having fun. Most likely seeing other women. Summer was the time when I had the least ability to get him to talk to me. He actually asked me to not contact him UFN. What's UFN? Until further notice. Really?! He claimed he didn't have his cell phone password protected in the summer because of sailing and wanting others on the water to be able to use it in the case of an emergency. No one else has a cell phone? Yes, but not a smartphone. Honey, if they're from your neighborhood they travel with a waterproof, flatscreen TVs. Anyway, now I know not talking is what's absolutely necessary. Maybe this summer will be joyous without all the drama. As for the upcoming holidays, I expect that I will have lots of moments of weakness when everything will be a reminder of the fairy tale time - cozy fires, holiday lights. It's going to be tough. You're right. I think that's why many are breaking no contact. I'll be struggling right there with you all, soon. It's only a matter of time.
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture
UFN??
this sailing phone thing? Darling Girl, that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard! What a jerk!
darling.girl
darling.girl's picture
Snowed
Yes, what a jerk! It's amazing how LONG it's taken for me to get past the denial. Almost two years! All the excuses I made for his excuses. Yes, but he still loves me because __________________. I could kick myself. They are masters at deception, mind games, playing to their audience, always dangling what you want in front of you, but taking it back just as you think you are about to get your hands on it. It is a major mind f***. I feel so stupid, sometimes. I mean I have an advanced degree. He even used that against me saying: "You're educated. Why do you continue (to contact me)? What would you advise a paying patient? (i.e., you are crazy for continuing to try with me)" Essentially, he taunted me because I fell for the con games that he wanted me to fall for. The ways they can break you are myriad.
dabussard
dabussard's picture
Yes,
Mine D&D me in April and told me he would see me in November...lol... Not gonna happen with this girl!!! You are so dead on that it makes my skin crawl...
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture
I'm sitting here fascinated
I'm sitting here fascinated right now. really?? they do this??? glad i changed my phone number hee hee! :=)
Ndance
Ndance's picture
Deidre, I did the same exact
Deidre, I did the same exact thing because he always initiates contact during Thanksgiving and around Christmas and wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be able to this year. I'll be damned if he ruins anymore holidays for me.
Hunter
Hunter's picture
They are gathering their
They are gathering their "NUTS" for the winter! You bettcha !! Hunter
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture
ROFLMAO
Hunter that is fricking hilarious!!!!! Mines probably growing his winter coat too. Oh wait! He had it all year long! EWWWWW!!!! And he had no particular season. He hunted 365 days a year!
Used
Used's picture
hunter
they are nuts alright.... like giant fat squirrels, hibernating in our homes...lol
Hunter
Hunter's picture
And Playing with " nuts" is
And Playing with " nuts" is also part of their charm!! Hunter
Sea
Sea's picture
LoL this is so funny!
LoL this is so funny!
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture
Bet if they could
Bet if they could they'd cram them in their cheeks too!
Used
Used's picture
yeah,and in their mouths
yeah,and in their mouths too...oh sorry you ment that...lol my narc looks like this anyway...fatpuff cheeks....he is such a greedy bastard...he will take a bite out of a sandwich,then a cake, back to the sandwich...we went out for a meal, he had the dinner,ordered it again,and then ate the rest of mine,that looking at him had turned me off of....
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture
lol used
yeah :-)too funny Mine could shove sooo much food in his mouth at one time, chew twice & swallow. Gross!
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Nuts,nuts,and more
Nuts,nuts,and more nuts Hunter