Doing well but for today

My best friend told me she saw my ex narc yesterday. He came up to her and gave her a kiss and proceeded to tell her how great he was going and was well over me. She said he was very polite and even kissed and hugged her good-bye. I asked her if she asked him "how he was going" or did he just have to tell her he is good and over me. She said he just gave this information.

Why do I feel she has let me down? She knew what he has done to me and the abuse I have been through. In the last year he was even rude to her. Why could she have not just said "hello" and walked on. I asked her and she said he put her off guard.

I feel really anxious today. I am sure he feels that by her accepting his friendship that he thinks all is good and if she accepts him after what he has done then everyone should.

Why am I letting a little thing worry me soo much!! I hate him more and more and wish he was dead and I want to ring me friend and tell her how I feel but I am sure I will cry.

I am taking deep breaths and trying to move forward again but I cannot.

Actually I saw the narc the day before and I was kissing and cuddling my paddling friends goodby as I always do. I ignored him completely - NC. May be he was just mirroring me.

Anyway I am going to lunch with my friend on Sunday for our birthdays but at this minute I am too hurt to even do that.

Please tell me I am OK. I need to be told again.

Thanks

xx