Do they know they're crazy?

They are not deep enough to be tormented - they are just fine and feel fine no matter how badly they treat others - no sleep lost. they don't care if others don't like what they do!

know something is not right with them, when the exnarc saw me in the store he showed no expression at all after many years out,but did he run like a little scared toddler, would not even talk with me for a few minutes like an adult, his subconscious got the better of him, flee and run..............

I am convinced that there is no way to have two clashing "selves" (the self-loathing, deeply-buried "true self" vs. the egotistical, outward "false self") without being a horribly tortured person underneath it all. I think they spend all of their lives chasing delusions, forever running from one pleasurable fix to another, to avoid confronting this deep-seated pain. Their real, irreparably-broken psyche is virtually unknown to them, having been utterly walled off and buried so long ago. They probably get brief glimpses of it from time to time, and are terrified by it. Just my belief.

I believe they know they are different and something isn't quite right with them. The Narc I was involved with would say things like "It wouldn't bother me to die, I don't care about that" and "you'll never understand me." He told me a few times that he was depressed and he knew nobody loved him. I asked him once what was wrong with him and if it made him feel good to hurt me and he responded by saying he knew he was doing something wrong and he wanted to get himself together. I would extend myself to him as much as I could but he would always pull away. On one hand I felt like he knew he had a problem, but on the other hand because narcs are such liars and manipulators you never know if their words are the truth or just a sick portion of their game.... If you stay away you don't have to worry about trying to figure it out.

he is super popular and can also entertain himself alone, relax and be quiet he can be sweet, giving, friendly, normal and ordinary in most ways except in intimate Rs with women he does get restless easily though when not smoking pot or getting attention I don't think he is crazy, but definitely "different" and in a very bad way Yes he knew he was different and felt things differently than others but he is ok with it I think he is actually a very sensitive N who is deeply ashamed of his behavior without the brain connections and neurons available to change I am one of the few that does not hate exN even watching him party like a fool at 55 while devastating me....they are damaged goods that's all - not crazy and they can choose to be very normal depending on the situation at hand, something truly crazy people cannot do

They are really tortured inside. Honest to goodness tortured...................but they have worn their mask since they have been kids and have convinced themselves that they are the most amazing people on the planet. They hurt so bad, that they want to hurt others. If they have to suffer, than so do we.

I was with said to me once,'I am crazy aren't I? that was when a pint of ice cream fell on my head as i tried to open up his overstuffed freezer, he lived by himself, he knows something is not right but doesn't seem to care at all .............

I firmly believe they know something is not quite right with them. The N I was with admitted as much, and in the same breath said he did not want to know how fucked up he was. So, whether its a destructive disordered N who is ignorant and oblivious...or a destructive and disordered N who is aware and refuses to do anything about it ...probably because they lack the ability to be introsoective to begin with, and even if they did, they still lack empathy completely so they'd not be able to understand how their actions impacted others anyway...the bottom line is it doesn't really matter if they know or not. What matters is that we know they are messed up, and that we truly grasp that they are messed up beyond fixing. For me, that was a critical moment in my healing. When I truly accepted that no matter how much I read on NPD, the bottom line would always be that the N is unfixable. I can't "love" him out of his disorder, and its beyond my control. When I accepted that, then I was able to turn my focus towards myself, and understanding what about me made me such a good target for the N, so now I am able to recognize and prevent myself from being in this situation again in the future. Its not about understanding the N, or the N understanding themselves...its about us understanding ourselves.

Yes,