Do they always do it?

Mine went awol after I had our first child - there wasn't enough worshipping of him going on any more and God forbid I needed his help in looking after an infant. It took me a while to cotton on that HE was the infant. He still is the infant and both our children have overtaken him in maturity by miles already. His latest child came along 15 months ago, and no surprises he honored his current wife of 2 years and his new baby daughter by having an affair. Was I shocked - Hell no, this is what he does. What has hurt is witnessing my D's shock and emotional pain at finding out what he is capable of at a time in their lives when their biggest worry should be getting their homework projects completed on time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

...YES, most of them they will lie & cheat and conceal a 'double life' IMHO, and they will do this at any given time...it is not necessary at all to be having a tragedy or precipitating crisis, or a problem' in your relationship. Even when everything 'appears' great and you are 'happy'...a Narc/Pathological WILL cheat and lie. And you can pretty much quarantee that they WILL cheat, lie and lead a double life after a divorce ALSO...as well as during the divorce, and let's not forget they were probably cheating and lying during the marriage too. They do this because this is who they are. They do it because they can. They are born like this. They do it with ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME for ANY REASON...and for NO reason at all... They do this because intimacy is difficult and scary for them. Because they are basically insecure underneath all their arrogance. They need excessive and constant validation and attention that no one woman...no matter how perfectly lovely and sexy, wonderful, pretty, sweet, self-confident or anything else wonderful you offer them. You could spend every waking moment catering to their every NEED and whim (and you practically WILL before the realtionship is over)...and it STILL would NOT be enough for a Narc/Pathological. Many of them love the high of 'cheating' and not getting caught...it reinforces their belief that they are 'special' and more 'sexy' than most people...and fulfills their sense of entitlement. They will cheat, lie and conceal a secret double life whenever the opportunity arises...without guilt or remorse. They only are slightly concerned with getting 'caught'...NO they don't like that at all... :-) And go to amazing lengths to hide the truth about who they are and what they do. They will even RAGE, become abusive and even violent (some of them) when confrinted with ANY TRUTH about themselves. It is ingrained. It is innate and a part of who they are to do this. They do it on sunny days, rainy days...and when there is a blizzard outside. They do it because they DO. This is what they ARE. Liars, cheaters and paycho's with NO character or restraint.

BIRTH.....and the 'cure' is at the other end of the spectrum...... My blog

I truly believe after everything I've read so far . . . They stopped developing emotionally at 5 or 6. They are a lost cause from the get go, but you don't know it until you've already been seduced. The real charmers are good at hiding it until they gotcha. . .

ITS what they have always done from the time they were aware.

ingrained. NOTHING CAUSES IT - NOTHING. It's the way they are born. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims