Do Narcs Notice

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#1 Oct 16 - 9AM
Daisyd
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Do Narcs Notice

If you've started cooling to them emotionally? If your not as enthusiastic about them??

Does this bother them or is it a new level on which to try to push your buttons??

I am Narc Free but that question has bugged me. I started cooling down from him before NC and I don't think he noticed. I know they live in their own heads and reality.

Opinions??

Oct 20 - 10AM
faithinthefuture
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Oh yeah!

I remember mine asking me "why are you so positive with everyone else in your life & at work but not about us?" Dah dipshit!
Oct 20 - 1AM
meik11
meik11's picture

Hell yeah they notice... They

Hell yeah they notice... They know when their supply is slipping away. Mine would say you act like you don't love me anymore and that look on your face looks like hate. I stopped telling him I loved him, slowly stopped referring to him by any pet names, and didn't really bother to call like I use to. I was sick of him hurting me and he knew that...
Oct 16 - 4PM
Journey
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Oh yes, they notice as long

Oh yes, they notice as long as they still want your supply that is. All throughout the relationship, EVERY single time I began to pull out a little emotionally because of his behavior, my exN hoovered me back in... until he found new supply, then when the time was right for HIM, he left. I actually found it uncanny during the relationship that my exN would know EXACTLY when I'd begin to feel concerned about needing to get away from him for my own well being. He'd pick those times to be extra sweet and wonderful and I fell for it believing his narc lies were honest caring.

Journey on...

Oct 16 - 4PM (Reply to #11)
Swan
Swan's picture

Journey

When my Narcabuser sensed that I was pulling away he amped up the abuse! Made me wanna hop in my car and just drive, drive, drive and never look back. then on the actual day I would leave (I left him 4x-this last one is permanent) he would beg, bargain, promise, cry, profess his love for me..."we are meant to be..." etc Yeah, we are meant to be... APART!!!!!!
Oct 16 - 3PM
indenial
indenial's picture

i think mine knew

I'd left the game. He knew he was losing me emotionally because I literally had any emotion left to show in the end. Hed give little acts every now and then of apparent love and kindness but I think he knew I was just waiting for the rest to click and the right time to go. That's why I suspect he won't hoover this time. I think he will fear the rejection too much and the challenge isn't worth risking anymore of his fragile ego. I'd become useless to him because all I did was put him down and I was so sarcastic towards him. In the end I simply gave up trying to be good supply. I didn't like how manipulative I'd become just to preserve what little self respect I had left in the end. His amateur dramatics were too pathetic in the end and I just used to sit there and look at him like he was a one man freak show. Which quite frankly was all he was.
Oct 16 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

indenial

I know exactly what you mean. I use to be sweet and nice (my usual state of being) and towards the end I was sarcastic and snipey and I think he took great delight in warping my basic nature. Yes amateur Drama King. That's what mine was. Crocodile tears my gut always told me were fake.
Oct 16 - 9AM
Sea
Sea's picture

It depends on whether they

It depends on whether they have other NS. My exN has plenty OW. He cant be bothered with me. I was at one stage wondering why he doesnt react to my NC. Now i have accepted that i am just an object to him a toaster perhaps. He doesnt have the ability to miss anyone or think of anyone in an emotional way. Thats his defect cant be help. It has nothing to do with me. Try to enjoy the peace. I know at times its hard you have feeling and wondering why. Its ok to have those feelings. It comes and go. NC is the only way out and the peace is a great "gift" from them.
Oct 16 - 10AM (Reply to #6)
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

Sea

Yes it is the best most peaceful tool in the arsenal. I don't call it a weapon because it's not really. I view weapons as 'angry tools' and truth be told I am calm and not angry and don't even think about him most days. I do enjoy my peace. However I do get a kick out of the confusion created for them in doing NC Thanks for weighing in!
Oct 17 - 4AM (Reply to #7)
Sea
Sea's picture

Daisyd

I must say you are doing really well! The peace has indeed helped. I am still working on not thinking of him daily. :)
Oct 16 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

DAISYD

Yes, they notice, even when i was still with narc, but had left him emotionally, he said, you are diffrent i know you have changed towards me,and i told him the truth,i said i left you emotionally about a year ago, i am just waiting for the rest to go...HE SAID HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN ITS OVER?..I SAID YOU WILL KNOW!!!!!!! I guess he knows now i have been 2years NC....
Oct 16 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

Used

Yes come to think of it I did notice he changed. I think like everything else they mirror you and he was simply doing this to reflect my change. I remember one time at the height of our supposed 'closeness and love (puke)' he told me your not giving me enough attention you aren't blah, blah, blah and this at the stage of being very much in love and devoted to him! totally FUBAR.
Oct 16 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
Used
Used's picture

DAISYD

yes, and so if we are going off them, they dont know what to mirror....exn said to me, he knew it was over for me, but wasent letting me go, i hung in there cos i was so used to him....the only thing was, he said will you ever feel like you did in the beginning about me, i said NO...who gets loving feelings back when they are gone...i don't...
Oct 16 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

used

Isn't it sad!! He wasn't letting YOU go! Imagine that. Like they have any real power to keep you especially once their mask has slipped! I can identify readily with your statement of 'hanging in because you do get used to it' at least for a short while before they really start to wear you out. I don't think mine dealt well with me going. He always use to talk about his 'female friends' code for OW. Funny all of these women were so depressed. He'd tell me most were on anti-depressants. Whether that was a pre-existing state or not I do not know but I think deep down he was proud of the fact he drove most of them there. The rub is I left him stronger and without tears and he hates that.