Do I have his gas can?

9 posts / 0 new

#1 Dec 30 - 10PM

I_Dated_Satan

Do I have his gas can?

He got back today from a Christmas cruise that the OW gave him for Christmas and he has the nerve to text me and ask me if I had his gas can....OMG! I remained NC, it has been since Wednesday. He had D & D'd me on Dec 8.....told me he was not seeing anyone. He lies about everything. This woman has a lot of money cause her husband died two years ago in some accident that paid her well. The OW has told numerous friends that this is the MAN OF HER DREAMS...He was the Devil in my nightmares. I am still jealous of the whole thing because he used me, cheated on me and we broke up everytime he had NS. I want to know :

Why am I am more jealous of what he is getting, cruises, houses, a new car!!! than her actually having him....He is on top of the world..he says he got the whole package now....beauty and money!

I don't want it to work...everyone says he will mess up cause of who he is. Once a cheater..he didn't have only one woman..never less than three. I counted in 3 years...29 women that he probably slept with. What was I thinking? Why am I still talking about this man. All my friends are sick of hearing his name...they call him a Piece of S***!I have to stop obsessing but that gas can question. If he comes to get it I will light a match.. I swear!

#2 Jan 2 - 11AM

Redhead

Jealousy

Yes...I totally understand. It's true that it's not about the OW, but we are only human. Rest assured he is not going to treat her any better. She is just another source of ns. He will d&d her too. She is not any better than you...nor does she have more to offer.

#3 Jan 1 - 9AM

onwithmylife

tell him

to stick the gas can where the sun don't shine and explode himself. ouch...........

#4 Dec 31 - 8PM

I_Dated_Satan

He used his sons phone to text...

He obviously wanted to get this message to me...Please tell me what he is saying! "I hope you find happiness and contentment in the New Year. I will never understand how you could have left me and gone to Mobile that weekend we argued. or how you can chase after low caliber men...but I hope you find someone that you are content with in the new year...I am sure you will cross my mind 10 seconds before midnight...Happy New Year Ole Friend." He uses that old stuff to blame me cause I left him the first time he devalued me and lied to him about where I went. He had a girl there that weekend...like he cared. But what I do not get is if he is soooo happy and content with his new GF and they are together ...why is he texting me..I never responded to his Merry Christmas either.. I felt my heart drop when he said "ole friend". I almost vomited in Whole Foods. My friend said for him thats actually nice...haha...At least he didn't call nasty ass skank whore or a trick-ass prostitute like last time. Oh yeah I said...2 bit whore was the last one I got in person because he thought I FB'd someone when we were apart. ....what did that Narc talk mean ??

#5 Dec 31 - 7PM

ruby01 (not verified)

The bottom line here

is that what happens in his life is meaningless to you. Your thoughts are blinding you from the truth. Try to stop thinking about it. When you do find your mind cluttered with negative thoughts, recognize them, then empty the recycle bin. The truth is what you have right now. Your life does not include him. No more manipulation or abuse for you. He is stuck and will remain stuck because being in an intimate, loving relationship does not attract him, so he doesn't feel like he is missing anything. He is happy to remain just as he is. Clueless, it's safer there. You, however, were not content with a shallow, one sided, empty relationship. You want change. Change comes from within. Stay in the present moment and don't allow these negative thoughts more than a glance and a goodbye.

#6 Dec 31 - 8AM

I_Dated_Satan

I emptied the gas can

and blocked the number. I was only seeing if he was thinking of me and that hurt that it was only about a gas can. Thank you. I know that this man is not worth the time and energy. I hope to let go of the jealousy its not the things that I want myself....its that he actually got them and not from me...cause in this sickness I gave even more to him than any material thing....I get it. Thank you. Thank Goldie for the one on one session on Christmas day. I have to let it go. PS....My 14 year old daughter charges me 10$ everytime she hears me mention his name......thats my sign.....and my goal to show her that I can let this go and hopefully what a real relationship is one day...and for now mainly getting my self respect back... Thanks again. So far I only owe her 30$...:)

#7 Dec 31 - 3AM

laxl

Block him

I'm pretty sure you can block numbers from any cell phone account. Call your service provider or go online and select the option to block his number from your cell. That way you won't get texts from him. I sure wish I had done that before Christmas - I wouldn't have gotten a stupid "Merry Christams - we'll always be friends - you mean a lot to my family" text from him. How awful to get a superficial text from someone who ripped out your heart. It's better not to hear from your ex-N at all. That way he can't reinflict pain on you. Even though it seems tempting to want to find out if he's thinking of you by calling, sending messages - it is just an illusion that he's thinking of YOU if he contacts you. He will be thinking of HIMSELF only - and how you can provide him with NS. It's like ripping a scab off of a healing wound to have any contact with him. Let the wound heal by going totally NC. So many people have recommended this I finally started listening - and they were totally right. I'm doing so much better and never thought I would get out of the abyss of depression when first confronted the reality that my "true love" was a true Narc! Listen not just to me, but all the other wonderful women who have travelled this path before us. NC is the only way out of this hell. Get rid of the gas can and any other objects that remind you of him. Donate the items to Good Will - if they were that important to him, he would have already claimed them. The more you shut him out of your life, the easier it will be to put this pain behind you. It seems awfully typical for an N to have the best house, car, vacation, etc. So shallow - these are material objects that N's think they are entitled to. It's all they understand. When I found out my N was going to Las Vegas with another woman (a place I really never was interested in going to, but he had said we'd go there over Christmastime and get married) - I told him it was no wonder he liked Vegas so much: it is shallow and superficial... just like he is. Those things will never bring you true happiness. They are just objects. Sorry for writing so much - but understand how you are feeling (really I do!!) and felt like I should pass on to you the amazing advice I was given when I was in the depths of despair. Good luck - and be strong. No Contact. Ever. Again.

#8 Dec 30 - 11PM

Sparrow

Leave the gas can on the

Leave the gas can on the front steps. If he happens to drive by, let him pick it up. Don't answer the door, don't respond to his texts and don't take his calls. Jealousy is an ugly trait that you should work on getting rid of. To be jealous of him going on a cruise, having a house and a new car, is unhealthy. He may have all of the material possessions that bring only instant gratification, but he will never have what you are capable f having, and that is a heart. To feel love, to feel happiness, to feel sadness, all of these emotions that are the fiber of our being, he will never have. And there is no house, car or cruise on the planet that is near to an equal trade. In other words, you are way ahead of the game. So, who should really be jealous of who. Let it go, it's bad kharma and holds you back from your recovery.

#9 Dec 31 - 6PM (Reply to #2)

You lie

I struggle with

I struggle with jealously....... and I know it makes me ugly!! I feel ugly when I am having my jealous times. It is hard for me to let things go. I guess I am very stubborn, and that too is a problem. I forgive fast when someone apologizes, but in this case, no answers, no apology.......nothing. I have been praying to God to teach me to move past things and let things be. I know I am holding myself back from fully recovering. I get frustrated with myself. In my case the OW's mother has called me. Accusing me of 'holding up the divorce'!! I had to have the papers served because he would not meet at the attrnys office to review them. He held it up for 4 months. Then she asked how much money I get now and what ridiculous amount of money I was asking for in the divorce!! I was blown away! I told her it is non of her business. I can not believe the OW's mom would ask me that. Then she said "do you work and have income?". I told her I ran my own business until 6 yrs ago when STB X and I decided I would stay home with the kids so he could travel more and move up in the company. Her reply "guess that wasn't very smart of you". This has me SO angry. Tomorrow starts a New Year and I do not want to take any of this baggage with me. I want to let it go and start fresh. I guess that IS the best thing to do.....let it ALL go and start the next chapter of my life. Thanks for listening to me rant ...... Have a great and safe New Years

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