Do alcoholics and Narcs have similiar traits?

Mine was a functioning alcoholic and his bad behavior came out mostly when he was drunk. He would drink a bottle of wine and then would need to drink tequila or any other liquor to end the night til the wee hours. I often wondered if he gave up drinking if the narc traits and sexual addiction would diminish. Before his wife left him he did give up drinking for a few months, guess it didn't work out so well cause after 26 years she left him without ever looking back.

My Narc maternal grandfather (who was married to my Narc grandmother) was an alcoholic. He went to AA. He left his wife (my grandmother) for his girlfriend. My former Narc boss had alcohol issues. Sometimes he had yellowed skin... and one of my coworkers would speculate that he had hepatitis. He'd brag about how clean he was, that he had gone to rehab, that he was better now. My former Narc coworker (the obese one) would brag about how much he drank. The ex-Psych prof was a heavy drinker, especially during the final D&D. My classmates simply wrote him off as a "mean drunk" rather than a Narc. He'd talk about how people brought wine to class at the University of Virginia (it is a tradition at that school) During the final D&D, he was teaching an off-campus class about Shakespeare's Sonnets. It was one of the least popular elective classes... it shocked my classmates that I didn't even put it in the top 3 choices. The rumors of his heavy drinking went from being rumor to a known fact. He also had massively decaying teeth that looked like smoker's teeth, tho I never saw him smoke.

In fact, with my experience, N was much nicer when he was drinking Patron. Sober, he was rigid, all business and thinking about nothing but making money and sex (my guess). Dually diagnosed can mean a multitude of secondary or multiple diagnosis such as PTSD, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, sex addiction, OCD, paranoia, etc. Most are very wounded and have trauma in their background. The alcohol and weed took the edge off and occasionally, I would get a glimpse of vulnerability. He was fun to be around when he was drinking. Yours sounds like a huge binge drinker while mine was the maintenance type who never really got plastered. He'd have his daily drinks after work but, he continued to function well and there was no impact on his work. I'm beginning to wonder if exN used meth. The guy ran around like a super-charged battery on 3-5 hours of sleep and had a very demanding job. He traveled the world and never got sick. The reason I suspect meth was because after seeing him after a long absence, the bottom row of his teeth was brown/black...gross. Not sure what was going on...suspect at minimum. When it comes to shitty things he did, there was no correlation to anything. He was simply a f'n asshole and went about his life running over people, both professionally and personally. He has the status, power, image and looks to pull it off. Yours sounds like he could be dangerous during his drinking binges, if triggered. Please be careful.

I think addiction is more common among the psychopathic population in general. I am currently reading a book called "Drinking: A Love Story". It's a good read about one woman's struggle with alcoholism and her path to recovery. Personally, I feel it is an attempt to assuage the shame they feel and constant undercurrent of self-loathing. Numbing out by getting drunk or high means they can escape themselves for a while. Who of us doesn't want to do this from time to time, but with them it becomes almost imperative. If he got sober could he change? Yes, there would be changes but at the core the disorder remains. Either way they wreak havoc and destruction and unless you are a professional addiction specialist then you can't help him. xx, Rose

I'm very familiar with alcoholism as both my parents and many relatives were alcoholics. They are very similar to N's in that they are insecure, selfish and often anti social. My first introduction to an N personality was much later in my life. He too is an alcoholic and recreational drug user topped with that lovely N disorder. My entire life I dated only men who were social drinkers or non-drinkers because of my upbringing. But my last relationship with an N threw me for a loop because I didn't know about this personality disorder. I knew he probably was not right for me because of the drinking and drug use but I had no idea what was"lurking" underneath. He stole my heart with his charming ways. I only wish I saw him drunk during our first encounter because I never would have walked down the path I did. He swept me away with his words, than devalued me and dumped me without nary a word. Both disorders lack compassion on all levels! Move forward and move on!

Addiction to substances (drugs/alcohol) is actually a trait of a person with antisocial personality disorder which is in the Cluster B family along with narcissism and if yours was a AsPD, he must of been a huge joy to live with because these people are TOTAL azzholes of the highest order. My abuser is a AsPD and N and was a cocaine addict (recovering, ha!) and alcoholic (vodka, how lovely! Every single day!!!) I too justified for a long time his crazy, violent, awful ways because of his drinking. In the end, who cares! He was an abuser. They only act worse when they are fukked up, but you know you would not be here if that little voice inside of you really thought he was "just a drunk". Go with your true gut instinct. The time for lying to ourselves is over. love~ Layla

There is a theory that where alcoholism is present there is an underlying personality disorder. (co-morbidity). The personality disordered tend to be prone to addiction of all kinds. So, it is not that they have similar traits, but rather that the personality in itself (PD) is addictive. Hermes

Well, not all alcoholics are narcs, but some narcs are alcoholics, yes. Alcoholics can behave in a similar fashion to a personality disordered person when their addiction is raging -- i.e., displaying mood instability or irresponsible, abusive and deceitful behavior, etc. A lot of personality disorders are co-morbid with substance abuse.

My ex IS a narc. He fits 80% of the discriptions. But, he never drank, smoked, or did drugs. . Ok, so he didn't drink but he did have the alcoholics personality. And I know because my dad was an alcoholic. The moodiness, the tip-toeing around the uncertainty of what mood he was in. The highs and lows of his personality and the constant sense on unhappiness. Even when he was happy, there was something dim behind it.