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Divorce

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#1 Dec 29 - 8PM
Redhead
Redhead's picture

Divorce

Sigh - packing up the rest of his stuff with a friend this weekend. Arrangements have been made for him to pick up his things January 7th. This is all so sad to an 11 year marriage. I recognize that many of you served longer sentences;) I miss the man I thought I knew. I too wanted a Hoover, & when he hovered it was so sad. There is no way I could ever go back. The trust is gone....he's shown what he is capable of. I'm 48 years old. Which this isn't actually old, it is mid-life. I haven't been very successful with my love life, or my only marriage. He took many years of my life. Yes, I'm resentful. I don't think I'll remarry....I'm ok with that. I'm counting my blessings for what I do have, and that includes all of you on this forum.

Dec 30 - 7PM
strong_enough
strong_enough's picture

10 years later

I can totally relate to the pain you are going through right now. My divorce was just finalized this past week; got the decree in the mail on Christmas eve. I too feel like I wasted so much time and energy on this "man" who was beyond my help. Too much water under the bridge, too many lies, too much betrayal; which even makes it difficult to want to be friends with him - or co-parent our 2 young boys. However, a new year is in front of us and we now have the space and power to take control of our own personal destiny. We may have been stripped, but we will rise again!
Dec 30 - 3PM
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

49 years, 16 year "marriage"

You have every right to feel the way you do. It does feel as if you gave the best you had to offer to someone who couldn't care less. I missed the man I thought he was and my kids missed the dad they thought he was. You will cycle back and forth through the stages of grief, so don't be surprised if you do. Be kind to yourself and glad you have a friend to help you at this difficult transition. NC will be your saving grace.....
Dec 30 - 2AM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

Hi I am 49, 14 year marriage.

Hi I am 49, 14 year marriage. Similar story. Miss the man I thought I was married to. Also was desperate for a Hoover and when it happened it was awful. My marriage is over. Like you it still hurts But less
Dec 29 - 9PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

Redhead

I am so sorry for your sadness. i too have experienced this once my divorce was final after a 25 year marriage. I was not sad that it was over but i was sad that the dream of happy ever after was over. I also felt that he took so many years of my life. I now look at it as a new beginning. I am also 48. I have no interest in getting married again but I have closed my heart to a loving relationship with a normal man who could love me back. i thought once the divorce was final that i would magically be ok and all of the horrible things he did to me would disappear. I was wrong, this is where the really hard work begins. Overall I am in the best shape that I have been in a long time. Physically. emotionally and spiritually and I have a very long way to go. The damage they do to us is unimaginable. I am just enjoying the peace in my life and taking it one day at a time. I am praying for you and wish you all the good thing life has to offer. Peace!

victimnomore

Dec 30 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

46 14 years

and I agree with everything said here. i miss what I thought i had