did any of you

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#1 Dec 16 - 4PM

blueworld

did any of you

thought crossed my mind today
how many of you either heard, saw, noticed, were approached or told something about the narc, abuser, pd, sociopath in your relationship?

meaning,

when i went to do the free poker at bars
or karaoke or just out with him i noticed this

one of his co workers could tell something was really wrong with him and me

a female friend we saw at the same bar everytime didnt like him and sensed he was abusing me

random men in the bar would come up to me because they didnt like him and wanted me to get away from him or leave

many places many people total strangers "saw him"
and said odd things, one that sticks out the most is this encounter

we went to a bar to play free poker
he got out pretty fast on a bad call and had been drinking
he wanted me to go and i was up and doing good
we got into a stupid fight about it
he went a deliberatly flirted with a young hot cocktail walking around in chaps and i walked up to him and told him i am tired of this and i took the fake ring off he gave me

he in return said he is going to go to the bar down the street to find his ex and screw her and that him and i are over and that i am to get my shit and move out of his place
i refused to engauge and sat down and continued playing

he went to the car sat in the drivers side and demanded we leave he was yelling at me at this point someone smoking outside saw this and approached me and said he would protect me and for me to stay in the bar and ignore him i kept playing

brett was getting more and more pissed
we got on break and the guy literally approached brett and said i dont know who you are but i can tell your a douche bag and i can tell your a abuser and you think no one sees it mark my words she isnt going to be with you in six months

he was calm and looked at me and repeated babe lets go, babe lets go home, the guy and another guy were pushing brett not physically but verbally out the door , i left like a good dog should and drove him home he was paranoid saying the car behind us was the guy from the bar..we got home, no fighting

the following days he brought this story up to his sister and said this guy started picking on him for no reason because i was causing a scene and making him look like a bad guy because he lost and wanted to just go home

!!!!!!!!

anything happen to you like this?
anyone "see" the abuse?
anyone try to help you? or at least make a comment?

#2 Dec 17 - 9AM

ReclaimingPower

THREE male friends pulled me

THREE male friends pulled me aside and told me he was no good. One of them was the N's friend and I chastised him thinking he was jealous. To make it worse, I told the N about it. I feel awful about it now. I just went out with the other male friend last night and almost broke out in tears because he was so incredibly kind and supportive. He is an older man who is a recovering player (his words, lol) and can spot them. He's always been very protective of me. He himself could have taken advantage of me years ago and never did and I thanked him for that last night as well. The third male friend met him ONE time after I hadn't seen him in two years and pulled me aside and told me he was a creep and what the hell was I doing. ONE TIME and he knew. How can they see it so quickly and we don't? I don't get it...

#3 Dec 17 - 9AM (Reply to #16)

Used

all narcs pals warned me, and

all narcs pals warned me, and women, some i knew some i didnt....I didnt listen to them either....one of his best pals, didnt just tell me, but told his sister to tell me as well[i knew his sister]...when i knew narc a while, he said people are going to tell you things about me....I SAID I WON'T BE INTERESTED......I was at the end, and what i was told was the tip of the iceberg......I am still hearing stories of him now going back 30 years....TALK ABOUT LIVE AND LEARN...

#4 Dec 17 - 12AM

janemarie

I Didnt Listen!

I was warned by my family and his ex girlfriend who is actually my sister in laws best friend....He was such a good manipulator that when I called him on it...he convinced me that he was a good guy...(I wish I had a dime for every time he told me he was a "good guy"...Id be rich now and wouldnt have to sue him for the money he owes me....but thats a different story) Love is blind!! I was told and chose not to listen...I have learned that my family loves me unconditionally and the next time this happens I should be a little more open to what they have to say..after all...they truely love me and only want me to find pure happiness!!

#5 Dec 17 - 6AM (Reply to #14)

NessMIA

I was told too! don't feel

I was told too! don't feel bad. His BEST FRIENDS told me to be careful with him because he doesn't commit and "always breaks girls."

#6 Dec 17 - 12AM

nomoredenial

I feel duped

No ever told me anything. The only thing I heard was when he left a job one coworker said to another....good luck with his new job hope they can deal with him hes wierd. I thought they were jealous he got a better job. Did anyone else ever go without anyone telling you something? People have said something after...but not during

#7 Dec 17 - 1AM (Reply to #12)

blueworld

nomore

actually yes a few people we were around after the finale told me they thought he was gay and that he will always be a abuser because he carrys the im better then anyone attitude and they saw how broken of a spirit i was and see me now today ten weeks later entirely differnt person im happy giddy laughing joking smiling and glowing as one co worker said

#8 Dec 16 - 11PM

Amiee

First time my mother met him

First time my mother met him she didn't like him, said he was a player and trouble. Never changed her mind. My friends hung out with him once. He tried really hard to be one of the guys and joining their fishing and social groups, they ignored him and would't include him even when I asked. My friends wouldn't include us as a couple but would hang out with me if he wasn't around...I didn't catch the clue. We were going back to my sister's rafting, then my brother in law said Narc wasn't ever welcome at their home again, but wouldn't tell me why. My grown sons, said nothing about him. That was very loud. Didn't put it together until we broke up and they all told me how much they disliked him, didn't trust him, thought he was a narc...haha

#9 Dec 17 - 1AM (Reply to #10)

blueworld

many females

many females we met and hung out with mutual at karaoke or poker said he was a douche bag and my mom didnt like him from the picture i emailed to her since we were states away she told me he looks like he is troubled and he looks like a predator who is going to latch on to you his whole demeaner when he is out in public singing in that microphone at karaoke is he is the sexiest biggest sex god in the room he is haughty cocky arrogant and many healthy people pick this up immediatly i would imagine it is only a matter of time before some guys start picking fights with him for being such a dick waving arrogant douche and show off he prided himself on his abilty to pick up women i have learned something actually he doesnt pick up anything of VALUE that speaks LOUDLY to me in my healing process

#10 Dec 16 - 10PM

Serenstar

Not good enoughx10

Some close friends, work colleagues, his and mine always said he was not good enough for me from the get go one went so far to tell a mutual friend that he reminded her of her xH who is in jail. My bro went from thinking he was a great guy to a liar, shifty, loser, replied with politician answers, he said you are the only one in this relationship a few months ago. My 5 year old nephew's own perception from early on was that he didn't like him as he shusshed me, lies, smokes (ok can't count that one) and takes things! Another old friend male (and i thought he was just jealous) said he is like a little boy is not good enough for you didn't like the way he spoke to me and told me to dump him and go out with him. He did not like me being around my BF as after a visit i would come back stronger, she was definitely a problem to him but thank god she stood by our friendship despite her sincere dislike for him this is before the cheating happened. She even took my parents out for breakfast when they came from overseas and tried to turn them against him, but he had worked his magic and it didn't work he was very good to them paid for their vacations even when he cheated they felt it was my fault. His best friend tried to warn me a few months in he didn't really explain well and was drunk as was the NARC i dismissed it, it never came up again. So most of my circle never liked him, which made it awkward for us socially and should have told me something.

#11 Dec 16 - 7PM

LilyS

Yes! So many people. Well,

Yes! So many people. Well, at first everyone thought he was so nice and then that all changed. The word everyone used to describe him (except for the small circle of sycophants he has around him) was Douche. What is it that they say.... love is blind. Especially with a psychopath or narcissist. lol

#12 Dec 16 - 8PM (Reply to #7)

blueworld

lilyS

alot of people who met him thought he was a douche lol that and ego filled

#13 Dec 16 - 7PM

NessMIA

Everyone told me he seemed a

Everyone told me he seemed a little "arrogant." But strangers noticed too. About two months we went on a dive trip to the Caribbean, and when we came back on the boat, I made a mistake in removing part of my equipment--and my N got so mad that he yanked it off of me, and talked to me as if he was talking to a 4yr old. I looked to the side and the other divers were looking our way and whispering. The rest of the trip NOT ONE person talked to him--all were very nice and looked as if they felt sorry for me...

#14 Dec 16 - 5PM

needing2know

The first time my mom met him

The first time my mom met him he made the hair on the back of her neck stand straight up, she told me he was a control freak, he will take whatever he wants when he wants it and he is only going to hurt me, but of course me being the "kid" lolI guess you could say , I wanted to prove her wrong , something I have NEVER EVER been able to do. I should have listened she has never been wrong about guys I dated, never! And my kids kept telling me they didn't like him, I didn't listened I just figured they had a problem and some jealousy about me dating. But one thing I have learned and I don't mean this in a bad way is that kids are alot like dogs, they can tell a good person from a bad one so pay attention to what they say! My brothers couldn't stand him all 3 hated this man, they all told me he will brain wash me and guess what, they were right, when we went somewhere together no one ever said anything to me, he doesn't have friends and the ones he claimed to be his friends didn't talk to him, he would never introduce me to anyone. I was with him for 7 yrs and you know what I couldn't tell you the names of his 9 siblings or his parents!

#15 Dec 16 - 5PM (Reply to #3)

blueworld

needing2know

you think that is bad this was posted on my bedroom door by my roomate at the time that i was living with that was friends with him check out this gem Kris left a note on my door while I was staying at bretts im sure kris knew I was moving out This note was about Kat yet another X of Brett It said that Brett was highly abusive and controlling and that he has HPV and got Kat pregnant and cheated on her and lied to her all the time It also said that yet another x of Brett’s Brittany also talked to Kat and said the Same thing needing2know this was the first three months dating him

#16 Dec 16 - 6PM (Reply to #4)

needing2know

blueworld

we all for some reason fail to pay attention to what people tell us because in the beginning they show us a different "them" so we blow it off. I think a lot of it too is that just like the new comers that come here and say he treats the new woman better, well just like with us in the beginning it's all good, but I know for a fact they do not treat the new woman better, they actually will get it worse, and it isn't fair to any of us. I have learned a very hard lesson and I will take all the knowledge I have learned here with me, my first and sec exes were narcs too, but I never heard of narc or npd/bpd but now I know what it was, I know what to look out for now and I know how to spot it. My ex talked about how crazy his ex wife was well he made her that way, I think I got D&D'd is because he couldn't fully break me, he didn't get full control, I wouldn't sell my house and give up everything to move in woth him and his kids, I would have ended up being just his house keeper and babysitter. From now on when people see things I don't I will take it to heart!!!

#17 Dec 17 - 12AM (Reply to #2)

uk lady

These types

Give off an aura - and it is always bad. Even my xh told me that xN wasn't good enough for me. And get this, another friend even said that he looked like a vampire and that was years ago. Should have listened. Dee x

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