Devil of a Spouse

from: http://predator-awareness.healthylifestylegeek.com/devil-of-a-spouse/

Downright Mean

Did you go to bed one night with a loving spouse and wake up the next morning with a monster? If this sounds like your relationship you are with a devil. But you thought you knew them. Take a trip around the information highway’s marriage forums and you will find confused spouses all over the place.

What’s intriguing about these forum posts is that spouses will spit out creative excuses for their devil to combat abusive behavior. He knocked me around last night, but most of the time he is a loving husband. Angels do not turn into devils and devils do not turn into angels.

So what is going on here? Angels are loving and honest. Devils are manipulative and deceiving. When these two worlds collide you end up with a dazed and confused angel and a domineering devil. A match made in hell, not 7th heaven.

This mismatch can be prevented or cured. Devils understand angels, angels do not understand devils. Angels it is high time you get educated. Devils take advantage of how your mind works all the time. Your goal is to do the same.

The mind of the devil is not wrapped in empathy. Angels are. As an angel, you assume your devil will behave with your same sense of decency toward others. This is not possible. When they are faced with a perceived threatening situation their behavior is not tempered by the feelings of others.

The resulting behavior is inappropriate and too often their angel suffers. Guilt is not part of the aftermath. One does not feel guilt when one does not appreciate the corresponding appropriate behavior. The devil’s promise to never repeat will not be supported in the future. They cannot perform what’s not understood.

Hence, the empty promise complaint tossed about in the angel’s world. Stop listening and start observing. It is in observation you will find your answer. The sign of a devil is repetitive inappropriate behavior. An abusive spouse in the house.

My answer to the question of how long you should know somebody before you marry them is long enough to observe their patterns of behavior. The area that you should concentrate on is a person’s empathetic response to others. A response guided by empathy appears automatic.

One of the ideal environments to observe empathetic responses is around children. Their innocence stimulates adult action on their behalf. If your spouse, or prospective spouse, ignores your perceived requirements of children take a very close look.

A devil’s response will always be self serving – for they know no different.

http://predator-awareness.healthylifestylegeek.com/devil-of-a-spouse/