Desparate for Validation...
Desparate for Validation...
We were heading down to the riverfront On July 4th to walk and let our daughter and her friend take in the sights. We were talking. NH says he is almost out of vitamins {the kind he takes for his erectile problems - probably related to his porn addiction but that is another post}. He says he has to buy more vitamins. I offered to buy more vitamins for him, since he will be away for job-related training the next week. He says he needs his vitamins "now" because he won't be able to "perform". I say, "It's not like you're going to be 'performing' because you will be away." He says, "You never know." I say, "I don't think that is particularly funny," and lapse into silence. Watching someone turn around in the middle of an intersection on the way to the parking garage. NH says something. I don't hear what he says, but am afraid he is talking to me and if I don't acknowledge him, he will get mad. I say, "Are you talking to me?" He says, "Sorry" in kind of an attitudinal way. I say, "What are you sorry for?" No answer. Wait about 30 seconds to a minute and ask, "What did you say to me?" He says, "I said, you're impossible!" I say, "I don't appreciate you saying that. It was mean." NH slams on the car brakes, making my seatbelt dig into my arm and shocking the two 9 year-old girls in the back seat of the car into silence. He lays into me about copping an attitude with him. He asks me if I can be pleasant the rest of the day or whether we should just go home. So shocked and upset that he would slam the brakes on like that with two kids in the car that I tell him to just take us home. Spend the rest of the ride home trying to explain why I got upset at what he said. He says I am picking a fight with him; he was just joking. I tell him that what he said wasn't funny; he was pushing my buttons and also insulting me. He says he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me; I always pick fights with him. He apologizes if what he said hurt me, but then quantifies that by saying I pick fights with him. I call him on the non-apology, asking how he can claim to understand why I would be upset by what he says but then turn right around and BLAME me for getting upset? I also questioned him about slamming on the brakes like that, and he says that he was going uphill at 3 MPH and I must've had the seatbelt on wrong if it dug into me and hurt me - bruised me.
Help me, please! I am so desperate right now for someone to tell me I didn't overreact to what he said - that even if he was joking, nothing he said was remotely funny... and that I had a legitimate reason to be upset by what he said. That I wasn't picking a fight. I am in the process of trying to figure out which of us is the "disordered" one... I am hurting so bad!!! I don't know whether to take my daughter and run - or whether I should try to change again for him. I can't live like this though... If you read my other posts, you know about the porn addiction and the insults directed at me for being boring in the bedroom... I am so desperate for validation. God, it hurts!!!
He led you into a
your daughter and the other
Thank You!
sassy
"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."
Wow
sassyredhead
Are you in Ohio? Were you
sassyredhead