De-humanizing the Narc

This is for No More an Echo...as she asked me the question on another thread and I thought it might help others if I posted.

Dreamboy Trotters is what I now call my ex-N.

Why? Since I have joined this forum and have read up on learnt so much from here and other sources....I began to see him as totally in inhuman. The name evolved over a few weeks and has really helped me de-humanize him, see him for what he is and keep him firmly in the realms of reality for me, so I don't keep yearning for the man I fell in love with.

It started with Trotters....as I looked back at him I began to see him as pig-like....he had so many strange mannerisms and quirks. So I started to picture him with a half pig and half man body....it completely worked!! His bottom half is pig, and this visualisation has been profound in my recovery. No longer to I look back and pine for the ass, now I look back and see him for exactly what he is, not human but some kind of mutant!!

The Dreamboy part sums up his strongest N traits....."I have always had a dream and you, xxxx, are now part of it" - insert relevant supply name!! Not only does he live in a illusionary and fantasy world, but the driving force for him is his ego, very inflated sense of entitlement and image. He very much is lead role in whatever film he has started to portray himself in. So when, in reality, you don't live up to the dream, off he trots. His entire motivation is to recreate the perfect life he lived with his ex-w and that is his "dream". Hence he triangulates with whichever OW he is with and her...that is the "ideal" we all have to live up to. Total and utter fantasy....and we all get caught up in that dreamworld, only to wake up and find that as the real Trotters emerges, you are in a complete crazy nightmare!

Dreamboy Trotters to me is not the man I fell in love with, he is the sham, the man I lived with for 3 years who made me feel so shit about myself. Dreamboy Trotters is the man who is now with OW, acting out the next role and living his "ideal" for the time being, until she wakes up.

He is not human, he is totally impersonal and this vision to me is also very comical, this helps too as I would rather laugh about him anyday than waste anymore of my emotional spectrum.

So you get Dreamboy first and then Trotters....the comical piggy like man who thinks he is put on this planet to find his "ideal love".

Funny, I remembered yesterday, he was obsessed with chick flicks but one of his favourites which he used to watch ALOT was "Catch Me if You Can" with Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio, told me it was because he loved airports, always had, more like he loved the con. Speaks volumes, particularly as OW is cabin crew!! Wonder what she will call him one day??!!

Hope that helps! Sun is shining over in the UK again, so off to have another fab day and NOT think about pigs feet!!