D&D... Left with almost nothing (part 2)

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#1 Apr 4 - 10AM
Confused335
Confused335's picture

D&D... Left with almost nothing (part 2)

Hi all,

I hope everyone's doing well. :) I've recently been going through ups and downs again recently and wanted to give an update to my situation that so many of you kind people gave uplifting advice over.

As a reminder, I was the gay (OM) who became involved with a man married to a woman. Long story short we fell in love and he started seeking other guys later..I'm sure a lot of you remember it.

Since my last post, communication has been minimal at most. I had finally started to get over him and I was finally thinking about myself instead. He would still pop up and call or text occasionally, but it had little effect on me. I was on the verge of returning here to post a success story, I was doing that good!

This past weekend however he sends me a text: "are you going out tonight?"
To this I just ignore and he blows up my phone, I respond with "dunno, maybe" just to get him to shut up, which always works. I actually did go out on a date, but that wasn't his business!

The next morning, he tries calling again, which I ignore. Then he texts and says that he has a lot he wants to tell me and if we can please talk. I knew it was a bad idea but I agreed so I called him. I immediately recognize the old him on the phone, the person who was long gone, the guy I fell in love with. This threw me for a complete loop, and he proceeds to tell me that he hates not talking to me, that I was such a huge part of his life and that he misses me, that he thinks about me every day, that he loves me still but that he knows any relationship beyond friends was unfair to me. He then wanted to know if I had moved on.

I told him that I hadnt, and asked if he had, to which he says that he's talked to other guys but it's nothing like what we had. I still remained strong, I told him that I thought I had found something special, and that he broke my heart over pushing me away. He acknowledged that he knew it was wrong, and we had one of our old hour long conversations.. Like the old days.

He called the next morning and we talked, then called in the afternoon and we talked, and texted in between. This was the old him for sure, and while I was cautious, deep inside I was so excited. That night he called me and said he had a story to tell me, that he had met a guy in a bar who he had recently messed around with that I had talked to months ago after I had caught him cheating a 3rd time. WTF?! Did he hunt this guy down and tell me the story to get back at me? He had questioned me about this guy months ago when he first saw me add him...now he's with this same guy?! Why the hell did he recontact me as the old him, just to throw this in my face? This other guy told him that I had told him long ago that my narc is crazy, cus he is, and the narc confronted me about it, and then demanded to know who I'd been with and what their names were. I had enough at that point and told him that I couldn't be friends with him and talk about other guys and KNOW of other guys..it's way too painful. His response: "You're going to be part of my life whether you want to be or not."

I'm now going through hell because they've talked about me, and the thought of the old him with somebody else again feels like a fresh wound. The stress is too much this time and I've made an appointment with a therapist on Monday... I've been questioning myself again wondering if I'm the crazy one, because why wouldn't I be able to walk away otherwise? If the therapist on Monday can't help me, I don't have much hope for myself at this point.

Apr 4 - 12PM
Rinalda
Rinalda's picture

Build back your resolve

Apr 4 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Well. .. When you have had

Apr 4 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Layla
Layla's picture

Have to say, I agree with Hunter.........

Apr 4 - 11AM
sunrising
sunrising's picture

I can hear your pain in your

Apr 4 - 10AM
Used
Used's picture

If the therapist on Monday

Apr 4 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
spinning
spinning's picture

Dear Confused, I am so sorry

spinning