dating

Don't be hard on yourself. I am 21 months out from final D&D and I havent dated yet. Everyone has their own time for when they are ready. I would date now if I found someone who I was interested in. People sometimes think you should just date to date, like you can't be normal not having a mate. All I can say is they don't know the simpleness of not having a mate either.

Abused, I am so sorry you are having a down day. Yes, you are correct, tomorrow is a new day. And will be a better day. As far as your friends are concerned, they are dealing with their own bag of hammers. They don't sound the least bit happy to me. Please don't concern yourself with how they are getting on, because in reality, they are doing it all wrong any way. They seems to jump from the kettle into the fire if you ask me. And we all know that that is not the correct way to do it. Heal, slowly....................you will be better off for it in the long run. I can promise you that. And these friends, you will notice they are continuing to chase their tails, trying to get it right. You will get it right, because you are taking the time needed to heal, they aren't. Get a good nights sleep, tomorrow is another day, and promises to be a good one! :)

yes its normal, sometimes you still feel lower than a rattkesnake. we all have them. youll feel better tommorrow, just practice disregarding anything he ever said about you that robbed your confidence . have a home spa, paint your nails , just love yourself. its been proved telling yourself I love you youre awesome changes your brain chemistry. try it after the first week it feels less wierd. these suckers got inside our heads and did maximum damage. refuse to think about them ever. love is the answer, loving yourself. one (or even two)fucked up relationship doesnt define you. you ll feel better soon x

Yes. My divorce is only weeks old...but I have been seperated almost a year. ExhNarc moved on with OW who we knew within weeks and that is something that I'm learning is more damage to my self than I would have liked to admit. By the time I asked for D, I already knew he could not love nad would never really love me or our daughter. I had fought that battle for 18 years. BUT....one thinks/hopes in the back of your mind that HE just might have enough regret, sadness and remorse that he might have not thrown it in our faces as we - and mostly daughter - continues to grieve. But alas,,,,not going to happen. SO>>>long story to get to your point that yes I feel certain pressures to date, and "get out there and get on with it"....even from those who know and love me. AND get how painful it all is. YET....they also want me to move away from him and the pain. Of course, I want that too. But I know enough to KNOW that another person will not make that happen any faster...and it would probably cause me to pick the wrong person. It will take hte time it takes. That is the bottom line. Someday, I'm told, I will begin to feel some desire and sense of myself again that will tell me its time to move on and live fully again. Right now, we all have a different timeline for healing. Those who rush it, I just feel never really take the time to understand their own roles in the mess, and get to know themselves enough to withstand the potential damage other could do...if you are not wise enough to pick - to demand - better of someone next time. Be kind to yourself. LOVE deeply those who love you genuinely. Heal thyself. The universe will play out as it is meant to. Have faith in that.