Dangerous Assumptions

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#1 Dec 22 - 7AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Dangerous Assumptions

by Kathy Krajco

I read a spy novel that explained how spies subvert and corrupt people from the other side to manipulate them. Deceit is the name of the game. The chief tactic is relying on the deceived to make ASSUMPTIONS he or she shouldn't make. Assumptions people don't even realize they are making.

We do this with narcissists.

For example, when they blow up, we assume that they do it because they feel offended or threatened.

That's an assumption that works works for Earthlings, not Plutonians. We show our temper on the premise that doing so will make an offending or threatening party back off. We aren't even tempted to blow up for any other reason. (It's an unpleasant state of mind that we avoid.) So we do this for strictly defensive reasons. We have no urge to use this behavior offensively just to run somebody over for the glory of doing so.

But don't assume that about narcissists. Fighting is something they don't mind at all. It works at getting them what they want, so they actually engage in it for no reason at all, just to push people around. My own experience makes me think that narcissists actually enjoy conflict and arguing and fighting.

Whenever you aren't playing the part they've scripted for you, they flip the switch into obnoxious mode to herd your behavior back in the direction they want. You know, like a cowboy herding a stray steer.

It works too, doesn't it? You will do anything to get that spoiled brat to stop screaming.

That's all they're doing.

They may seem about to blow a gasket, but it's just a mask. One of many they put on. Remember that they do everything for effect.

NOT to express themselves.

This is a fundamental difference between them and us.

They are never expressing themselves: they are just making faces in a mirror. It isn't to express themselves: it is to manipulate YOU. They will use a frown just as readily as a smile or a punch as readily as a kiss - it's all the same to them.

Because it's totally utilitarian. Don't take it to heart. (They don't.)

The mask they have on at any given moment is no more indicative of what they are feeling inside than the Halloween mask of a child is. They are actors on a stage, 24-7-365. None of it is real.

Which is why narcissists can switch masks in the blink of an eye. (Which by the way is a red flag.)

Another example. If a narcissist senses that you are getting ready to leave him, he may change and work to keep you.

We assume that this is because we mean something to them. Ah, how comforting. That's very tempting to believe. We want to believe it with our whole heart and soul.

But this isn't because YOU mean anything to him, at least not in the way you think. Narcissists are parasites. They need a host. If they lose you they'll have to find another one, that's all.

In other words, you mean nothing more to them than you mean to a blood-sucking tick.

This is why once they have you won over and back again, they go right back to sucking your blood.

They are like machines in doing this, so don't take it personally.

Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions. It's very hard to remember you are dealing with people from Pluto, who aren't acting on normal human premises, so that you can't make the assumptions about their behavior that would be correct if you made them about a normal person.

http://narc-attack.blogspot.com

Mar 30 - 3PM
Barbara (not verified)
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Dangerous Assumptions

READ TOP POST ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Dec 22 - 8AM
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Thanks, this really makes sense

...and the way it is written, it really brings it home...the reality of the way a Narcissist thinks. This morning my N BF got up and said outloud that he was 'wasting all his talents' on 'people who don't appreciate him' as 'he should be appreciated', and 'don't even acknowledge how he is actually more special than most', and he 'just doesn't get that'...why he doesn't get the acknowledgement for all his talents he has like some other men who rise to the top in management and get big raises'...and 'why doesn't he get noticed?'... Then he asked me to help him pick out his 'sexiest shirt to go with his tightest jeans' because he was a contestant at work (one of 10 guys out of 200 employees...and HE voluntered)...for the "Sexiest Man at the Office" contest today...all the female co-workers are voting who is the sexiest man at their company...JUST GREAT! OMG am I hoping he loses and gets a little narcissistic injury...but he will probably win...ughhh! There is also another Christmas party today, last week was the company party to which I was not invited this year...and today is his department party...(he is 46 and works with a bunch of 25-35 year olds and is always trying to hang out with them...makes friends with 30 year old guys who always are willing to hook him up with the young co-workers...and validate him.) GREAT set up for a Narc! Men are from Mars...but Narcissists are from PLUTO!
Dec 22 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

No. They are directly from

No. They are directly from hell. :)