Custody papers

Your exN is unbelievable! I hope you are showing your lawyer all your texts. Try to communicate "only by text" so you have proof of how wacked out and unstable he is! I forwarded all my texts to my lawyer of me repeatingly asking the narc for his address and him not responding. Good luck Mallory.

Excuse me this is the same guy whom earlier today I read a post that he wanted you to reconcile & clean the house to sell? And, he's also making arrangements for a new life with GF & your children? Typical for these guys. Always casting about for the best situation. Playing several hands at the same time. However, I would suggest no further contact. Your lawyer should handle all discussions, communications. This is just so nuts what this guy is up to. Must drive you so crazy. You don't need this. I believed with my N after I left him that any discussions were useless, absolutely useless waste of time & only upset me. Which was the whole point of the communication for him. And, since reading this site . . . I think that is true of almost everything I read here. The lies, manipulations . . . the content is so senseless & nuts . . . the whole point of the words is to inflict pain, to control & demean. They don't even seem concerned when they are caught in lies or in contradictory positions. They don't care. I think the whole point is to show just how little consideration either you or I deserve. We are not worth any consistent behavior or decent treatment. Just rubbing our noses in how worthess of any consideration we are to them. It's really evil. Being polite & playing by civilized rules of engagement really only feeds these guys. One can never win. The only win is to ignore them. No contact.

How far away does he live now?

You feel that he has you trapped; that he controls all situations; that you are his string puppet and he is the master. This is a hard place to be bc you r concerned for your kids and you feel you have no say. No matter how much others tell you not to worry - you do because he has trained you. Even when you didn't know it; even back when you thought he was the most wonderful man on earth, he was staging his d&d. This is all part of how he's always treated you. Its hard for you to turn your thinking around. I'm going to share with you something my dad said to me when I was so upset about my N conditioning me....he said 'who's conditioning who? You know what he's doing and he doesn't know what you know. Keep him in the dark. That way you are conditioning him" It wasn't until my dad said those words that I realized I even had the RIGHT to disagree with narc. It was so ingrained in me to depend on HIS opinion. Mallory- you are in charge. You do not have to agree to ANYTHING he puts in the papers. Stay consistent in what you want. And guess what! You dont have to stress and worry. What will that do? Just picture yourself reading the custody papers with his stupid suggestions and then chuckling to yourself while saying 'no' and reiterate what you have fought for this whole time. No matter what he tries to make you think YOUR OPINION MATTERS!!! Its time you wear him down - not the other way around. http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled

Be sure your lawyer has a copy of the e-mail it shows instability. You might tell the lawyer that the custody document could be changed in the future but as your ex has an unstable history in his relationships this girlfriend might be gone soon and that would open the door to an endless string of unknown girlfriends who you don't know and it might open the door to problems for and with your children. If he was married to the woman it would be a different story. His request is too broad. He is playing with you and wants to control the custody agreement just to control and manipulate you. It isn't easy doing business with a nut but be patient he will sign eventually. You can always counter that if he doesn't sign you have documented reason to ask for sole cutody and you want a court ordered psych and personality test. they don't like to have their reputation blackened. Go figure. they never have much of a reputation.

without SUPERVISED VISITATION its UNACCEPTABLE I'd bet he said he's moving there just to delay some more. and NO FRIGGIN WAY with the gf and her kids (gotta wonder what he's telling her!! that you're BEGGING him to move there I'd bet). Even Christie Brinkley had the NO GFs rule in her custody decree. That's OUT! Wonder if he's doing what they all do... lay out a number of conflicting scenarios to see what you'll jump at, the deny you - blame the gf or something else - and delay more. What a flipping manipulative liar. Tell your lawyer NO WAY. He signs as is or you go to court. That's the last thing he wants... his business in open court. So tell your lawyer - NO GO. Let's go to court. He's friggin' toast ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website