Crazy dreams

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#1 Oct 19 - 8AM
Neya1217
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Crazy dreams

Just curious how many of you hit a point where you were having weird dreams and crazy nightmares every single night, and how long it lasted? I've been in court batling my ex-N for the better part of two years, and the nightmares (and insomnia) happened THE DAY that we settled in court. As soon as the daytime anxiety was gone....the goosebumps and nausea and diarrhea over just anxiety about MY LIFE and how I had no clue how the trial would turn out....once that was over, instantly i started having nightmares every night. Most of them werent truly terrifying, but still not "good" and very very WEIRD. Last night i had five dreams in a row, they all involved males....males i am either friends with or males that i didnt know/made up in my dream. and in all of them, the males were either incompetent, or doing something totally insane that made ZERO sense but it seemed i was the only one who saw it as crazy and he saw no issue with it, or the male did something illegal or immoral but with no sign of anger or guilt or remorse on his face before or after. Doesn't take much of a dream interpreter to know i'm working out my experiences with narcs in my dreams....but.... how long does this go on for?

I wrote before (but cant find the post i wrote a few weeks ago) that I'm pretty sure I have PTSD. COGNITIVELY I get it. I'm past him, i dont engage him any more than i must (we have kids together and joint custody), and any real conversation we have is in writing so i have it as proof should i ever need it. Our face to face conversation never lasts longe rthan a second. I have a strong faith, storng support network, close family, and intellectually, cognitively i get what he's doing, and why and how. But it's like the effects of the abuse are in my BONES now, and i cant seem to fix it. I just want to get back to a normal life, a life where I could date (i dont think all men are evil but even though I can spot a narcissist a mile away now, i still dont trust myself to not end up with one again....my last 2 relaitonships have been with narcissists, and both left me broken...obviously, the one i married, more so) A life where I'm not having nightmares every night, and where my adrenals are healed (I was diagnosed with stage 3c Adrenal fatigue...my cortisol was basically non existent...back in January....i've been treating it sine then and i'm MUCH better...no more heart palpitations, etc....but still not back to normal).... and where my memory functions normally...my mom just had to help me pay my bills this month because i thought i had paid my electric bill and i hadnt (i keep a chart and everything i am normally very organized) and thus i was two hours away from having my power turned off, and with 2 power bills to pay at once, at over $600, I needed help paying everything else. That is so not like me. But, that's who i've become. I dont know that talking about it more would necessarily help, because I get it. I mean, i think i do anyway. I've read so much about narcissism, i've had good friends as coaches who 'get it" and have helped me work out my thoughts and feelings and how to appropriately respond (or not respond as the case may be).... I just wonder how long til I feel like a fully functional human again (ex-N and i were together for 6 1/2 years, we've been apart for 2 years and divorced for 1 year, court battle settled as of a week ago)

Nov 8 - 11PM
ambrandon7
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I just recently started

Oct 21 - 10AM
Niels
Niels's picture

Hi , Thanks for your post I

Oct 20 - 11AM
spinning
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First of all Neya,

spinning