Coping With Betrayal

I haven't posted for quite some time about my own personal dilemmas concerning xnh, mainly because I'm 3+ years NC, and there haven't been any dilemmas. Well, this morning I got smacked with a beauty, and I could really use some support/advice about how to cope with this one.

First of all, let me give a little history. Xnh and I worked at the same company for about 20 years. He had been physically, emotionally, and overall abusive to me in every way throughout our relationship. After the final D&D, he stalked me, harassed me on the job (to the point where management reprimanded him 3 times and forbid him to have any contact with me on company property or using company resources). Two months after our divorce, I found out that I have been infected with HPV16 from xnh's cheating, and I am now faced with cervical cancer scares (already been through two of these scares during the past three years). Xnh finally moved to another state after a good solid year of stalking/tormenting me after the divorce, and is now supposedly married to the OW he was cheating on me with. Both of xnh's adult children are currently married and living in separate states (both from each other and xnh) on opposite sides of the country. Thus, xnh has absolutely NO connections left in either my state or my town.

This morning I got a call of two of my best friends telling me that xnh is waltzing back into town this upcoming Friday for reasons unknown to me. One of xnh's former co-workers (who was formerly a mutual friend that I also am NC with because he would NOT stop transferring information about me to xnh) is throwing a part for xnh while he's here. Barf. Normally, I would just try to ignore this drama (and yes, this former friend has done this once before - xnh stood him up being the flaky, narc creep that he is).

However, I am now very hurt and upset that my two friends told me that another third very close friend of mine is going to this stupid party, and the former co-worker is bringing xnh into MY work place on Friday. Therefore, I feel that this third friend is betraying me by stating to my face (I phoned him about it this morning) that he IS going to the party to swoon over xnh AFTER this person already knew how badly xnh abused me for years. In addition, this "friend" knew about the STD from xnh causing me cancer problems for potentially the remainder of my life. Not only that, but now *I* feel like I have bull's eye on my back on the job because the co-worker is planning to bring xnh into my work place.

I find it totally disgusting that xnh can just decide to waltz back into the place I live and work. Meanwhile, people throw a party for the bastard (apparently just like it was Jesus returning), AND they are bringing xnh right back into my work place whenever they wish. Xnh quit this place two years ago and is no longer an employee. Meanwhile, *I* still work there every day. I am planning to go talk to my HR department at work this afternoon about this "tour" from xnh because both HR and management are fully aware of his abuse, stalking, and harassment of me before he quit. The also know he was reprimanded by themselves and forbidden any contact with myself.

However, I feel totally betrayed by the "friend" that is going to the party for xnh, and I feel like I'm not even safe from xnh in my own work place any longer. I've my two best friends suggest that I just take off from work and/or go to our other site that day. However, something in me is just refusing to tuck my tail merely because xnh is inflicting himself back here. This is MY work place, MY place of residence, and I refuse to just "disappear" whenever/if xnh decides HE wishes to waltz into the scene. My intent is to report this "tour" to my HR, go to work just as I have every right to do, and do my best to get through this without any contact with xnh. Yes, I fully intend to remain 100% NC with xnh. He is not welcome ANYWHERE in my life. I was just wondering if any of you have ever been forced into this type of situation because of the narc, betrayal by a friend on behalf of the narc in this way, and if so, how did handle the situation? I think I need advice and support right now.