Just curious—what is control by proxy? I think I know, but could you give some examples of your situations, if you wouldn’t mind? (if you have experienced this)
Trying to get close to your family, then gaslighting you, and then your family does believe the N that he is so nice and you are nuts and out of your mind - just came close to that happening to me and my adult children, and thought it might be an example.
My N had D&D me. But, he wanted to make sure that I did not hook up with someone else... He would send his friends into the club and they would sit close to my gf and I. They would listen to everything that we said... When we went on the dance floor, they would dance between us and any other guy on the dance floor.
Another example, I was out with my gf and my husband... The N's friends kept circling my husband sitting at the table until he got up and moved to another table...
Hope this helps!!
Why hello!
Control by proxy is the act of using other people (or authority) to harass/abuse you.
For instance, downplaying abuse he has committed telling others (police, etc..) that YOU are the one who has a problem and is mentally ill.....manipulating your family into thinking there is something wrong with you, etc...etc....
Trying to get close to your
My example
Using others to control you