Considering the Narc "Dead"???
Considering the Narc "Dead"???
Hello fellows,
So... I have read that when dealing with accepting how important NC is with the N, it is sometimes helpful to think of the N as dead or as a toxic drug (like heroine or something else. I pick heroine because my uncle died of an overdose of it) that I will never be able to pick up/have a relationship with again for the sake of staying alive. Has this worked for any of you ? I find myself feeling so sad and often battling feelings of confusion and flat out cognitive dissonance. I know I do not miss the anxiety that came from wondering if he was going to return my calls/texts, get upset at my request that he consider my feelings etc. However, I do keep coming back to this place of wondering if I could ever have him in my life again. He mentioned that he wanted to "be friends" when we were breaking up. I have been told that N's dont have "friends" like emotionally healthy people have friends. And there is a lot of evidence to support that with the xN. He in fact, once befriended a man who he thought was going to invest millions of dollars in his company and once that "friend" decided not to make the investment, the xN discarded him and told me that he only was hanging out with him to secure the money. I have also seen him rage at his friends for the smallest reasons and not return phone calls from people he claimed to be closest with because he did not want that person to think they could "reach" him "whenever they want". And still, I want to believe that there is good in everyone and its hard for me to put a human in the category of a "drug" or envision a person as dead that I know full well, is alive. I am aware that this may be part of the process of grief? Maybe I am in denial ....
I say do whatever works for
Believe in yourself!
Terri
I didn't think of my ex as
Loveisallthereis, I tried
Yup, you're in denial
Thump, that was my head
I'm glad
Lacey's response is wonderful.
AMEN! to that. and i too
i did this
luv this lesson learned. I've
being nicer
For me, the drug analogy is