Consequences after dealing with Narc! I got Std :(

I realize that after the Narc is gone it hurts worse than it did during the relationship. I feel left used and discarded like trash and now I have to deal with a Std :( He was my first boyfriend and the first guy I been with so it's like I'm trying my all to move on but I'm dealing with the feelings and after math of it. And Finding out he gave me a Std I want to hurt him sooo badly. He treated me like crap now I have to deal with this uugh . I probably been had it but didn't go to the doctor to get a check up unil now but i literally trusted him.it disgust me on so many levels . He a nasty disordered pig Please help me!!! I lost my innocence my mind my heart my self esteem and now my health . I don't see how I can possibly move on now finding out this information. Any advice :( ... I'm 19 I just started dating and I met this loser I thought he was a gentlman but I was so wrong he was a night mare. It's hard to let go I can't believe I still got feelings for him I'm obsessing even after finding out this news .